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Anyone try to "choose the sex of your baby" through Shuttles or other methods and it worked?

post #1 of 41
Thread Starter 

We're about to start our journey (going off BCP) next month for baby #2 and I REALLY really want a girl this time. DH wants another boy. I guess one of us will be right. ;)

 

I've read a little about "choosing the sex of your baby" online but the 2 main ones are complete opposites of each other so it's a bit confusing. I've also asked a friend who's had 3 girls who she did it...when during her cycle did she DTD so that she managed that. She said "right after my period ended"...but that's also confusing because most women ovulate around 2 weeks after their period.

 

Anyway....does anyone have any tips, suggestions or success stories to share with me on HOW to conceive a girl? I know that nothing is 100% accurate...even the IVF expensive (sort out the sperm) procedures you can do but....maybe just maybe...other people's real life experiences can help me a little anyway.

post #2 of 41

I'm sorry I don't have experience with this but I am bumping up your post for more input!  Good luck!

:bump:

post #3 of 41
We didn't intend to choose our first child's gender (girl), but I knew right away because I was in touch with my cycles band we dtd 2-3 days prior to my ovulation, and thats the only time we dtd because dh and I lived apart while he was interning for the summer. This baby (now 33 weeks), we dtd before and after I ovulated so we don't know (but I suspect girl).

My advice is to get familiar with your cycle and ovulation signs for a month or two before you start trying to up your chances of a girl. I used a period tracker app which made it easy... good luck!
post #4 of 41

I don't know that "most women ovulate two weeks after their period." I have had a very regular cycle throughout my life. 28 days, ovulation on day 14. That would not be 2 weeks after my period, as my period would not end until day 6, 8 days before ovulation. 

 

Still, that's awhile before ovulation. But if you start then and stop some 3 days before, you should be in the girl zone, along with other factors, as the shuttles theory goes, right?

 

Our first was a boy and a surprise. We tried for a girl with dd and got one, then we had two boys as the result of normal, libido-related timing. This time we tried for a girl for 6 months without conceiving, then finally conceived by DTD closer to ovulation- a day and a half before. I just couldn't conceive further from ovulation. Oh, well. 

 

I don't know the sex of this baby and won't until the birth. 

 

Do you have Taking Charge of Your Fertility? It might be helpful if you haven't read it yet. 

post #5 of 41

Both my boys were conceived on the day of ovulation.  We tried the supposed method for a girl, stopping several days before ovulation (3 months), but I couldn't get pregnant that way.  This current baby was also conceived on my day of ovulation, but we won't know the gender for a while.

post #6 of 41

Hi Mountain Mama! Congratulations on your pregnancy. 

 

Just to throw a wrench in the works here, we had sex immediately before ovulation and are now having a girl (opposite of what the Shettles method would predict). I am aware of the timing because I have been charting religiously for a long time.

 

We weren't trying for one or the other. I did desperately want a girl, but I didn't use any of the methods to try for one because a) I feel ethically uncomfortable with it - reminds me of the many countries where boys are so prized and girls are abandoned or worse - and b) I had a feeling karma was going to come back and bite me in the butt with that one, like I'd end up with a girl who hated being a girl for instance. Perhaps you can choose the gender, but you can't choose what's in the heart of a human being, and people definitely choose their own gender as they get older, whether it's a conscious change from their birth gender or an affirmation and acceptance of the gender society gives them. No judgment for anyone who is trying to determine the gender or anything, but I felt it was better for our family to go with the flow and let the universe decide. 

post #7 of 41

Well, any time you choose to conceive you're forcing something the 'universe' might not have dropped on you. Having a little fun- say timing conception to see if its a boy or girl- is no different. 

 

When we 'tried' for dd, I was not invested in the girl or boyness of my child. It was just a curiosity. It's worth noting that at that time I did not believe that girls were born girlish, or boys boyish. I thought that was all nurture. Boy was I wrong in the case of my daughter!

 

This time my 9yo daughter, who has 3 brothers, dearly wants a sister. She understands that we are never in control of such things and we believe that God knows what is best for our family. Still, DH and I gave it a try, just as we made decisions about when to conceive. I mean, we chose not to conceive for 4 years! That was really not going with the flow. 

 

I suppose it is a difference of view. I just don't believe in a negative karmic force that will come back to bite you because you had sex in a different position or 3 days before ovulation. 

post #8 of 41

From what I've seen, the Shettles method is said to be around 80 percent. I didn't know the "timing" of #1 (a girl), although I was loosely tracking ovulation as we were TTC. No. 2 was a known "oops" - when I ovulated closer to unprotected intercourse than anticipated I would, I understood that pregnancy was definitely a possibility. US shows a boy (and was pretty clear, even though only 15 1/2 weeks), but by Shettles, would have more likely been a girl. Not saying it doesn't work, just that there's obviously a margin-of-error. In our case, I was ecstatic that if there's any reliability to it, we fell in the 20%. We were really, really hoping for a boy (will be first grandson on either side of family - we have 4 nieces on DHs side, and I'm the only one with children on my side so far) and will probably be our last. We weren't even "planning" #2 at this point.

 

PS for Tabitha - Not to be argumentative, but hopefully to assist with future tracking or anyone else who may be, but DPM for ovulation is tracked from Day 1, not the day you stop bleeding/therefore, your cycle appears to be the fairly typical two weeks. Although I've heard it described that based on length of cycle, and whether or not there is a correct luteal phase, it is more correct to say that ovulation occurs approximately two weeks before your next MP, although this can be a bit more confusing, especially for those who are new to charting or have irregular periods.

post #9 of 41

i think there is some confusion here, that wasn't tabitha, someone up thread said two weeks after their period, when it's more specifically two weeks from the beginning of your period or a week and some days after the end of your period....

 

as for me, I wasn't charting with ds1 but I suspect he was conceived day of O, as i had ew cm and we dtd 7x that day.

 

ds2 was conceived an unbelievable 9 days before I ovulated and therefore should have been a girl. though I was relieved that he was a boy. lol

 

 

This baby we dtd 1-2x a day everyday for at least a week before i ovulated and a few days after. I think that means probably boy...however daddy has one daughter, and 6 sisters so he may be more likely to throw girl babies.

post #10 of 41

I was paying attention and charting prior to both of my pregnancies. Based on timing & the shettles method,  I fully expected a girl with my first pregnancy ( I got two boys) and a boy with my second pregnancy (I got a girl).

 

My MIL, however, swears by it. She's got 5 boys and a girl in the middle. Apparently she was only "trying" for a girl once. 

post #11 of 41
You can search the Internet. There are several gender selection sites out there. From what I've read the Shettles theory has largely been debunked. People use other methods to sway one direction or another now, and many scientists have come up with other theories. Shettles is just part of popular culture. As long as a couple is open to conceiving a child of either gender, I see no ethical conflict with swaying.
post #12 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizzyntaz View Post

You can search the Internet. There are several gender selection sites out there. From what I've read the Shettles theory has largely been debunked. People use other methods to sway one direction or another now, and many scientists have come up with other theories. Shettles is just part of popular culture. As long as a couple is open to conceiving a child of either gender, I see no ethical conflict with swaying.

Yes, this. Shettles and timing methods don't work. Here is a great article about why. (And check out the forums at that site if you want to know how to do a sway with a 65%+ likelihood of girl:

http://genderdreaming.com/2013/03/the-trouble-with-timing-dr-shettles-got-it-wrong/

We just found out we are expecting a girl (after 3 confirmed boy pregnancies) and followed several of the principles presented in the invaluable forum information. PM me if you want actual details.

From genderdreaming: things that sway girl: low sperm count, hostile cervical mucus (hence, acidity favors girls -- this is why people take baby aspirin or cranberry supplements, also some people douche but there are safer/more palatable options), declining maternal condition (e.g., following a low everything diet, skipping breakfast to get low sugar levels), clomid.

There is also a post comparing ingender to genderdreaming and it is very helpful -- ingender has a lot of folklore and weird beliefs on it, but genderdreaming is all based on meticulous research. Ladies swaying following the principles on that site are getting pretty high rates of girl -- a sway of 65% is much higher than the expected 48% (the natural gender ratio in the population favors more male births).
Edited by porcelina - 9/13/13 at 6:48am
post #13 of 41

Yeah I used to read ingender a lot, just out of interest, and it seems like as often as people tried for a certain gender, they somehow end up with the opposite one. So I'm a bit skeptical about Shettles and all that.

 

I have two girls. Both were conceived while charting, and were conceived relatively early in the cycle. I don't know my exact ovulation day, but I can tell you we waited till I was off my period for maybe a day, then started trying. And two girls.

 

Baby #3 (on the way) is a boy, and he's our one real surprise. I'm not sure when we conceived him. So that's not much help. lol

But I hope you get the gender you're happy with, or that you're happy with the gender you get. :)

post #14 of 41

My only thought on this is that if it were really the case, couples who are "trying" and making sure to get the exact ovulation day would have more boys, and particularly lesbian couples, since if you can only inseminate one time a cycle you're going to pick that best day and that day has "boy timing". And do people in this situation really have more boys?

post #15 of 41
I would definitely say the Shettles method doesn't work! Sorry...
We never tried for a particular gender when TTC but the month I conceived DS, DH and I BDed 5 days before I ovulated. The next day, DH was unfortunately put 'out of action' by a sporting injury - owch! Anyway, seeing as our last BD was a full 5 days before O, I forgot about it and wrote that month off. 2 weeks later I got my BFP. From day 1 everyone, including me, was convinced we were having a little girl because I honestly thought there was no way little boy sperm could have survived a 5 day wait. DS is proof positive that they did though. I read that both X and Y sperm do better if you BD a day or 2 before O as they need 24 hours to 'settle in' before they are actually capable of penetrating an egg 0 there is a more sciency explanation than 'settling in' but I'm not sure what it is I'm afraid.
The point being, don't put any store in Shettles/timing methods. I honestly don't believe they're 80% accurate - I'd say more 50/50!

EDIT - I've just read the link posted by porcelina about Shettles above. There's the explanation about why sperm need 'settling in' time. They need to shed their protective cap before they can fertilize an egg.
Edited by TheCrunchyBrit - 9/13/13 at 6:52am
post #16 of 41
Google different ways to get your PH level of your cervical mucus the right level for whatever gender you want. Big things are magnesium and calcium. Timing isn't the only thing that is a factor. Boy sperm thrives in alkalinity and girl sperm does better in a more acidic (but not much or all the sperm won't survive) environment. My spouse and I did our insemination at home a few hours before ovulation and I also did quite a few things to try for a boy as well. I tested my PH level to make sure my cervical mucus wasn't going to kill off all of the boy sperm. Whether all of that preparation worked or not, I don't know, but we ended up with two boys.
post #17 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by MountainMama2Be View Post
 

We're about to start our journey (going off BCP) next month for baby #2 and I REALLY really want a girl this time. DH wants another boy. I guess one of us will be right. ;)

 

I've read a little about "choosing the sex of your baby" online but the 2 main ones are complete opposites of each other so it's a bit confusing. I've also asked a friend who's had 3 girls who she did it...when during her cycle did she DTD so that she managed that. She said "right after my period ended"...but that's also confusing because most women ovulate around 2 weeks after their period.

 

Anyway....does anyone have any tips, suggestions or success stories to share with me on HOW to conceive a girl? I know that nothing is 100% accurate...even the IVF expensive (sort out the sperm) procedures you can do but....maybe just maybe...other people's real life experiences can help me a little anyway.

 

I was successful with conceiving a girl (who is now 11 yo) by timing sex right after my period. BUT I had been practicing FAM (fertility awareness method) and had a really good understanding of when MY body ovulates: around day 10 of my cycle not 14. I followed the recommended timing from the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" of how to time for a girl. The key was to have sex at the recommended time, but NOT later than that. I had my doubts that conception would work, because we had to stop trying before ovulation, but it worked on first try!

 
My two boys (now 15 & 13) were conceived without specific timing, and all of my children were conceived easily. I recommend you read the book...FAM is a wonderful way of practicing natural conception/contraception. :-)

Edited by busyathome - 9/13/13 at 7:33am
post #18 of 41

my little girl was conceived on the day of ovulation, well 8 hours before. Hubby and I did the deed around 9p at night and I ovulated around 5a the next morning. Little Girlie she is :)

post #19 of 41

I'm pregnant with #5 and though we didn't try for any particular gender, I've done the math and the date of conception lines up with the gender. DTD right before ovulation peak day as opposed to day of ovulation and/or days immediately following. We've got 2 boys and 2 girls. #5 is a girl.
If girl is your goal, I'd suggest taking a couple months to get to know your cycle. Not everyone's is the same. In fact, what is "normal" for one person is completely different for another. You've got to figure out what normal is for you. Read up on NFP through the Couple to Couple League website or I think FAM might give you some tips as well. Ultimately you get to know your fertility signs, chart them, and wait. Charting is a very very effective way to conceive and avoid pregnancy without all the artificial hormones and such.

Good luck. I hope whatever God decides to bless you with, you are happy. ;-)

post #20 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjback View Post
 

Good luck. I hope whatever God decides to bless you with, you are happy. ;-)

Oh for sure....either way I will be over-joyously HAPPY.

 

Having a healthy, full term pregnancy (hopefully as easy and not as queasy as some have it...first trimester again like last time) and a healthy baby at delivery is all that I truly can wish for.

 

It would be awesome being able to choose Girl or Boy at conception but since that isn't possible (yet) then the idea of playing the lottery and maybe stacking the odds in favor of Girl sounds kinda fun. It can't hurt...either way we'll get a baby and sibling for our son! :throb

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