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Newborn and Postpartum Thread

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
I know... It's only Sept. 5th but lots of us ladies have our little beans early!

I'm doing SO MUCH better this time around. Walked around after labor with no issues. Didn't have much swelling and my uterus shrank down to size fast! Due to a gnarly heatwave I was not planning to buy a belly binder and didn't notice much back pain once Lillian was out!

I am still processing the early PROM and know that it's almost entirely due to the BV infection. I'm still so upset about it. I still wish I was pregnant. It's all very strange-- why? Lillian is VERY healthy. She's gaining as she should be (at birth weight + 2oz. already at 7 days old!) and has no issues whatsoever. We are so blessed. I need to focus on that!

My DD is having lots of trouble adjusting. Last two nights she woke up screaming and I thought it was night terrors. But we think her legs hurt-- maybe growing pains? She's only 3.75 so we aren't sure if that's possible this young.

I did lots of preparing with books and talking about the baby. Because she was so early lots of things aren't going as I planned. I being concerned with weight am not letting DD1 nurse and I promised myself to try to tandem nurse. I'm already seeing DD become jeaous or resentful of the new baby. She is lashing out while I'm nursing which has been CONSTANTLY. I'm trying to get the babies weight up and establish a good supply, also lots of skin-to-skin. DD1 can see all the attention going to the new baby and I know it's affecting her.

The heart wrenching part is when we are sleeping DD used to crawl over toward me and snuggle with me and now can't because I have baby in arms! I really wish I knew of a solution. I was thinking of having DD next to baby but am too worried to try it-- baby is so little! I don't even like to put her down right now. Some weird mama bear instinct kicking in I guess. DD senses it and must feel like she's losing me. It just hurts to see that happen this way-- I was hoping it would be more of a natural, gradual thing. I am so thankful DH is home and putting her to bed but he gets very frustrated when he has to hold and rock her-- he seriously thinks she should put herself to bed. I tried to warn him it's tricky with her and takes a LONG time. She's fighting it.

Any advice for me ladies? And how are you all fairing with your recovery and little ones?
post #2 of 8
Hi Tilly, I was actually thinking about you and wondering if you'd be having trouble adjusting after your pregnancy ended so abruptly and unexpectedly. I think I'd be going through some of those same feelings.

I'm sorry your DD1 is having a hard time. Is your supply at a point where you'd start letting her tandem nurse yet? I didn't tandem with my girls because my older DD had been weaned for most or all of my pregnancy, but as a new parent of two my main goal was to reduce friction and ease the new baby into the life of the older sib. I am about to face this challenge again, and I'm a little worried about it!

I hope Bromache will come by with some tips- sounds like her boys have a beautiful relationship, and they're younger than my girls so she has more recent experience with sibling integration.

Your girls are just beautiful, btw. Hang in there, mama- you're doing great!
post #3 of 8
Tilly-a few thoughts I've had. Can DD1 snuggle on the opposite side from baby?

Also, can you let dd1 nurse on each side after baby has finished? I would think that would be an easy way to increase your supply quickly, and also give dd1 that comfort. It also shouldn't effect the amount or quality of the milk baby is getting if she gets to go first and have her fill.
post #4 of 8
So sorry you are struggling with the adjustment Tilly. We've had a few rough patches here too. My dd1 is 2 and doesn't nurse so I think it's been a bit easier for us to adjust. One thing I have had to make myself do is either put baby down or have dh hold her and spend some one on one time with dd1. Sometimes that's playing with her toys. Sometimes it's just cuddling. Sometimes it's watching shows or playing games on the iPad. But, when she starts acting out spending this one on one time with her really helps. Having my dh home has helped immensely. I'm sure you are relieved in a way that your dh lost his job so he can help with the transition. The sudden loss of your nursing relationship with her might be aggravating the situation. I second what freckled said, maybe let her nurse after baby nurses? If all else fails, just hang in there! Eventually your dd1 won't remember life without her little sister smile.gif
post #5 of 8
tillymonster - I second thefreckledmama's suggestions!

AFM - So far things are pretty calm around here. DS (well I guess he's DS1 now!) has shown some interest in the new baby but not really a lot. My parents are here helping until tomorrow and DS1 ADORES them (and their dog!) so he's been pretty focused on them and not so much on Jakob. We'll see how it goes when they headhome tomorrow. And then on Monday when DH is at work and it's just me and the two boys all day. That should be interesting!

You know, I had heard that the cramps and stuff after a second+ baby were harder than the first one, but I don't think I really clued in until now! For the most part my stitches and everything are healing better this time around (I had a second degree tear this time, but it was only barely a second degree, whereas with DS1 it was almost a third degree) but my insides huuuuuuuuurt. I expect it's a combination of second child + super fast labour + the nasty cough that DS1 gave me.Thankfully the cough is subsiding slowly.
post #6 of 8
Ditto freckledmama on the nursing suggestion. More gradual for DD1 and will likely help boost your supply a lot.

I'm a bit anxious about our transition from 1-2, so I'll be following along to see what everyone has to say.
post #7 of 8

I can't speak to the tandem nursing aspect as well, but I was just talking with another friend about how hard it is going from 1 to 2. I just went to 3, and looking back, I really feel for the child who is the only other sibling when a new baby comes. This time, my DS and DD have each other and both are already used to divided attention. When it was just DS though and DD came along, it was hard for him because he was the loner when I was working on difficult nursing issues with DS. I had to shut him out a lot and I felt really bad. It hurt my heart because I knew at the time, baby had to come first with regard to feeding and growth needs. He adjusted though. It won't last forever. It's hard while you're in it, and it really does break your heart to consider their feelings and this jolt to their life that despite all you do to prepare, is still a new and unknown situation for them.  The best thing I recall being so good for DS was to try to work in 1) him helping where he can and including him how you can while keeping baby safe, and 2) doing activities with him that we used to do, like making cookies, sitting down to color and 3) being consistent with whatever method of discipline and correction you used before. Sort of as a reminder that I'm still his mom, just like before and it's just a little different now. And talk through it, don't be afraid to bring it up with her that you know it's hard, she's doing great, isn't this different now, etc.

 

As for me, I'm feeling great post partum. Silas is 3.5 weeks old. I took a short exercise walk and it felt amazing compared to trying to walk in late pregnancy. I'm ready to work up to more. What a chore that was and man does pregnancy bog me down. My family leaves tomorrow...they have been here since Silas was born on Aug 12. I have not had to cook yet. I have the weekend with DH around, and during the week, he can get the older kids their breakfast while I get started with my day. It's going to be harder though, and where I will struggle the most is the nights that Silas wakes up more. Those are the times I have to pray for patience and not get frustrated, because I start thinking ahead to the next day and how tired I'll be and how much I want to be back in bed and have Silas sleep better. But overall he does well, and knowing that's my weakness, I can plan ahead to be prepared and *know* that even if I'm more tired the next day, I will absolutely survive and do fine that day.   Also, I hope to be getting some meals from church next week.

post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 
We have been nursing together and I snuggle DD1 constantly! But I've always been super affectionate with her. She's being such a sweet big sis most of the time. I try and get her to nurse and she loses interest pretty fast-- she only ever nursed while I was pregnant at night to fall asleep. Now she's not even doing that-- last night she asked for daddy to rock her. It's a bit of a regression I guess but the girl has always loved to be rocked not nursed to sleep.

Last night I decided to give her some arnicare which I've been using for postpartum pain. She said her legs hurt so we both had a dose before going to bed. She fell asleep really fast and didn't wake up crying at all! She's much mellower today and isn't driving us crazy! She really needs her sleep-- non-interrupted sleep. So that is such a relief!

Glad to hear most of you are recovering fast and well. I also noticed hardcore cramping afterwards they hurt like hell! I got a bit last time but not as bad. I took a walk a few times now which I couldn't even do while pregnant without pain and I'm amazed at how much better I feel!

I think I'm going to have some one-on-one time with DD right now-- great idea! I haven't tried that yet.
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