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Can we talk about sleep...

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

I know it can be a can of worms, so let's all be nice to each other, mm? :)

 

I am glad to nurse F to sleep and don't mind night-nursing either (usually 2-4 times, sometimes just once per night). However, she takes a looooong, loooooooong time to nurse to sleep - sometimes 90 minutes or more. If I try to slip away, she'll stay asleep for 10-15 minutes and then wake back up wanting to nurse more.

 

We didn't introduce a pacifier and she won't take one during the day; at night sometimes I can pop one in her mouth, but it falls out in ~5 minutes so it's not really easier than going in and nursing her back down. We co-sleep, if that's relevant.

 

I thought maybe she wasn't getting as much sucking as she needed during the day, but even if I lay with her for her entire afternoon nap, letting her stay latched on (I snooze then, usually, too), it doesn't seem to affect bedtime.

 

And she's definitely not short on milk - she's super hefty!

 

Ideas? Thoughts? "Hang in there"s? "Me too"s?

 

help.gif

post #2 of 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieWalter View Post
 

I know it can be a can of worms, so let's all be nice to each other, mm? :)

 

I am glad to nurse F to sleep and don't mind night-nursing either (usually 2-4 times, sometimes just once per night). However, she takes a looooong, loooooooong time to nurse to sleep - sometimes 90 minutes or more. If I try to slip away, she'll stay asleep for 10-15 minutes and then wake back up wanting to nurse more.

 

We didn't introduce a pacifier and she won't take one during the day; at night sometimes I can pop one in her mouth, but it falls out in ~5 minutes so it's not really easier than going in and nursing her back down. We co-sleep, if that's relevant.

 

I thought maybe she wasn't getting as much sucking as she needed during the day, but even if I lay with her for her entire afternoon nap, letting her stay latched on (I snooze then, usually, too), it doesn't seem to affect bedtime.

 

And she's definitely not short on milk - she's super hefty!

 

Ideas? Thoughts? "Hang in there"s? "Me too"s?

 

help.gif

 

 

ME TOO.

 

 

 

 

Meadow has always slept very well DURING the night, but had difficulty getting off to sleep.

 

She is going through a growth spurt now, and it's even harder! She's doing that thing where she needs me to stay with her- mostly latched on- and my poor boobies are empty and it feels just dumb. Grrr. 

 

When I do manage to sneak off, she wakes up within 10-15, so she's sleep deprived, then is overtired and has a hard time sleeping in the evening!!! She'll also go to sleep in Moby or car, but I don't think it's a good idea to habituate those ways of going to sleep...

 

Just keep on swimming, I suppose. I've tried letting her fuss a bit to see if she can fall asleep on her own, but I don't do 'let her cry' past the 'I'm tired' cry. Once it gets too sad, lonely, or panicky, that's it for me.

 

Some babes have an easier time self-soothing than others. Also, they go through stages- I'm seeing 3 months as such a, "Holy cow! There's so much going on in the world I'm just now noticing! It's kind of over-stimulating but I can't stop looking!" phase ... I'm sure it'll get better. Or worse  ;)  

 

Meadow's big sis was the same. Hoping to have Meadow be a bit less boobie-crazy. But big sis is 5 now and has been sleeping alone for a year or more ... there is light in the tunnel, but it's mighty far away  ;)

 

Hugs, Mama~ 

post #3 of 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by OtherMother View Post
 

 

When I do manage to sneak off, she wakes up within 10-15, so she's sleep deprived, then is overtired and has a hard time sleeping in the evening!!! She'll also go to sleep in Moby or car, but I don't think it's a good idea to habituate those ways of going to sleep...

 

Just keep on swimming, I suppose. I've tried letting her fuss a bit to see if she can fall asleep on her own, but I don't do 'let her cry' past the 'I'm tired' cry. Once it gets too sad, lonely, or panicky, that's it for me.

 

 

That was me with DS1.

 

Not a "me too!" but a "hang in there!"  Sander is a pretty good sleeper and doesn't seem to need the boob to fall asleep (he likes it, but it's not a necessity.)  My DS1, on the other hand, was exactly as you described.  I don't remember when it ended (like him sleeping with my boob in his mouth all night), but by 10 months he could start the night in his crib and then be in our bed after he woke up for the first time (between 11pm and 1am or so).  By about 12 or 14 months (don't remember exactly) he was mostly in his own bed through the night until morning cuddles around 6am or so.  However, at 3 years old, he still wants his "mommy moot" before a nap or bed.  If I'm not home, it's no biggy, but if I am it's still really important to him.  I hope it gets easier mamma.

 

Are you sleeping?  Or is the issue that you are sleep deprived?  Cause if you can just fall asleep and stay asleep with her latched on, then don't worry that she'll be 12 and still be sleeping that way if it works for now, kwim?  If you are getting sleep deprived, that's a different issue.  You can try the "no cry sleep solution" book.  But it didn't work for DS1 at all.  I did all the things they suggested and he still needed to be attached to my boob all night!  I think it was like "If I am physically attached to you, you can't go anywhere without me!"  Probably a good survival technique!

post #4 of 7
DD1 was like this, wanted to nurse all day and all night long and wouldn't take a pacifier (I tried to introduce one, no luck). Hang in there! If you are able to cosleep next to her and get sleep, I would just go with it myself, I never mastered side-lying nursing so I wasn't able to, but I often fell asleep nursing DD1. High needs babies are rough! For pacifiers, I would recommend trying different types, some are easier for them to hold in than others. Also, keep trying occasionally if you want, babies get better at holding them in their mouths.

Alice is much better at sleeping that Oliver, she wakes to eat and occasionally if she has really bad gas and she will get lightly asleep or nearly asleep from 10-15 minutes of nursing and then resettle herself 95% of the time when I put her down, occasionally she needs a binky to help. She often settles herself down and goes to sleep when I am tending Oliver if she is fed. She also is usually only waking once to eat at night. Oliver still wakes pretty frequently from gas sometimes, not sure what else, and 2-3 times to eat usually. He needs picked up and held 80% of the time, the rest I can get him with a binky only or with a bit of hand holding/soothing. He's only gone to sleep on his own a handful of times, but that's still awesome compared to Sydney (DD1). I'd love to be getting more sleep, but I can't complain too much as they together are much better than Sydney ever was by herself.
post #5 of 7

I'm afraid that I don't have any advice because I'm exclusively pumping, but I'll commiserate and give you a virtual hug! Giddy was sleeping really well--he's in a crib right next to my bed, and he'd wake up and eat around 11 and then again between 3 and 5. Very do-able. For the last couple of nights, he's been waking up ten and more times--almost once an hour. He doesn't want attention, he only wants to eat. Nothing else calms him down, not the binky, not even being held and rocked. But when I stick the bottle in his mouth, he calms right down and in a few minutes falls back to sleep. Problem is, I can't hold the bottle and sleep at the same time. Is this something he'll grow out of? Is it just a stage or a growth spurt or something? Or is there something I can do to reduce his number of night wakings? I have the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" books and really like both, though I don't agree with either one 100%.

post #6 of 7

Elodie nurses to sleep in the evenings...usually takes about 30 minutes, but sometimes 45 minutes to an hour.  Then I put her in her crib (in our room).  Her nighttime wake-ups have been all over the place.  For a couple of weeks, DH was able to use a paci to get her back to sleep...at least the first time.  That was nice because I got a longer stretch of sleep.  Lately, that hasn't been working...and her first wake-up time has been coming earlier.  She doesn't take a paci any other time though.

 

After that, I usually bring her in to bed with us because otherwise I get frustrated nursing, putting her in the crib, then she fusses and wakes up...repeat.  I know we get more sleep if I just bring her to bed.  DH has been traveling a lot so it was easier on me to bed-share the rest of the night (more space).  But when he's here, I end contorting myself in all kinds of weird positions.  Oh well...I'm hoping it will get better.  Last couple of nights, she wanted to stay latched on.  Not such a comfortable sleeping position for me.

 

Same thing with naps.  I just nurse her to sleep and she naps on my lap (unless she falls asleep in the carrier during walks).  I didn't realize she was organizing her daytime sleep and never tried to put her in a crib.  I figure she will start daycare next month and will learn there how to sleep in a crib.  Maybe the teachers will have better luck!

post #7 of 7
It's kind of hit or miss with Malcolm. He'll either nurse to sleep or we turn on music and "dance him to sleep." (Nice because daddy can get in on the action.) Sometimes he'll stay asleep in bed by himself. Other times he'll keep waking up. If he seems restless, we just bring him out with us and let him sleep on our chests. I figure, at least I have a good excuse to ignore the laundry sitting on the couch while my husband folds it. (Sorry, hon. I'd help but, you know, holding the baby...." wink1.gif
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