My son has always had a fairly short fuse, but very rarely has had "meltdowns" for the past couple years. But starting a couple of weeks ago, he started throwing full-out tantrums about seemingly small things, such as doing the chores he has done (albeit begrudgingly) since the beginning of summer: putting his clothes away and brushing teeth at night. Other than the out of control tantrums, he has been increasingly needy: used to go to bed on his own, now has to be put to bed, used to entertain himself solo, now "needs" me with him almost constantly unless he's watching TV. His fights with his brother who is 5 years older have increased in frequency and intensity. I feel like I have a toddler again. He seems more anxious than before as well.
I recently quit my full time job to stay at home more with him and be able to homeschool full time (he had been homeschooled before only on my days off). We definitely spend more time together than we ever did before.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. Punishments for the hostility/rage have not worked. We've tried incentives for good behavior, but he hasn't been able to do it at all. I've read The Explosive Child and am trying to use some of the collaborative problem solving techniques from it. I think they have helped, but they are completely exhausting and DH and DSS are not really on board. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. I wouldn't have described my son as an "explosive child" before, but after reading the book, I see that maybe he has those tendencies. They've just never been this acute before (since toddlerhood).
I guess I'm hoping someone else has had experience like this before.