~ Weekly Chat Thread Sep 11th-16th ~
Saw chiropractor last night, she actually brought a table to my house. What an angel! Now I am symmetrically busted. I have to remember to take an ibuprofen tonight so that I can sleep at all. Back pain is lame.
Leigh, Congrats on the elusive triple nap! That was always my favorite when I nannied, and oh-so-rare!
I love sleeping on my stomach! I love that I have a stomach! There is so much room inside of me I can eat a meal without feeling sick. It is amazing!
I posted another thread about this, but my period is back as of today and this has hit me with an all-new series of emotions including fear/guilt I am depriving my baby, anger at the inconvenience and early fertility of it, frustration and hopelessness at the thought that my exhausting efforts have not been adequate. Plus, I'm just freaking tired. I never sleep. I drink too much coffee and I am trying to compensate with vitamins and other supplements. Ridiculous.
Also, thank you all for making me feel better about being Cruella de Mom. I mean, I've not started wearing a child-skin coat yet, but I am regularly thinking "this is DEFINITELY my last nerve!" My DS is in potty...something mode. Can he control his peeing and pooping, go when he feels the need, etc? Yes. He's awesome. Does he WANT to when it means he won't be KILLING his parents softly? There's the rub. I have resorted to Thomas and Friends-flavored bribery and candy, too. This is not my way, but if I have to change another man-sized poop diaper while getting kicked in the face and/or physically restraining my DS from flipping all around, getting poop all over me/himself/the wall, while screaming "Don't change me! My butt hurts from poop! I want a diaper! I want underpants! i don't want a diaper! Don't change me!" I'm going to lose. my. sh&@! And that is not a phrase I use lightly. And cleaning up after crouching toddler, hidden poopoo is not my favorite either.
And tomorrow is his 3rd birthday. We've already had his party, been celebrating like crazy. Tonight I am making homemade pizza and birthday cake. Tomorrow we're going to Houston to the Children's Museum with his grandparents (my in-laws, God help me). Should be a fun outing and hopefully lots of special attention on him. I will seriously cold cock my FIL though if he starts his buffoonery of taunting my DS by making crying baby noises and telling him (again) how he's no longer my baby/ other disturbing untruths that he defends as "the way it is." (No wonder my DH has always had a tenuous relationship with his little sister.) My FIL has the emotional depth of a bird bath and most of the time I just tolerate him, but both DH and I have our lasers focused on him for any upsetting remarks that might slip.
I agree. He had his own awful childhood issues, but he never dealt with them and so it is impossible to have anything but superficial conversations with him. He is unwilling/unable to understand why teasing is cruel and I think he honestly believes that my son is now displaced in my heart by newborn DD. that was his experience and he can't see that my DH and I are not alcoholic, mentally ill parents like his were. And my MIL's parents weren't a lot better. So I try to have compassion for them, while also limiting my exposure. I see how they really do love my children; they are just super awkward about expressing it. Wish me luck with them tomorrow!
Aw man, good luck Mary! What a tough place to be in for everyone. Is there anyway you could 'prove him wrong' in his own eyes without doing anything like you are trying to prove something (like having DH carry/push in stroller DD while you and DS explore the children's museum holding hands)? Do you know what I mean?
A couple of years ago my very own (usually very) awesome grandfather called my DS a crybaby and then told him to stop acting like such a baby (DS was 1 1/2yo at the time btw). Before I could stop myself and try to find a respectful way to respond, I told him that we don't talk like that to our child and I didn't want him to bully my baby anymore. Well, that certainly shut him up. I didn't feel that great about talking to my grandfather that way, but I felt great about ending that cycle of "tough guy" shit that males often have with young males.
Good luck again, and don't be afraid to tell them what's what!
Mama: I hope you get some back relief soon. Mine has been intermittently freezing up, I think because if all the sitting and nursing.
Which, leads me to my next point. Feeling like a human pacifier. I know this is normal and I am soothing babe, but I am ready for a substitute to give me a break. He would not go to sleep last night even after a supplemental bottle without one more suckle. For those using pacis, what kind do you like? I have the generic ones from the hospital , but he doesn't seem to be a fan.
Finally on a positive note. This is what it's all about (DS and babe);
Pacifiers. Before my first I was all, no pacifiers, nipple confusion, bla bla bla. Monkey would not sleep in the hospital at night so finally we sent him to the nursery and when we woke up, he came back with a paci. And it worked, and he loved it. So almost five year later, we are still a paci family (though just for baby). For my super suckie kids combined with my generous supply and fast let down they just work for us.
Brands, NUK or Mam. Nothing else really works for us, part of it is that they are shaped and easier to keep in. Catherine will take an Avent, but prefers her Mams (and refuses the Nuks, my other two loved). Size matters too as you need to choose between the newborn and the under 6 month size. Really they should sell a variety pack.
I am feeling better this morning, but we will see how long it lasts. Monkey bit the iPad this morning and since it already had one crack, he managed the shatter the screen a bunch more. He told me, but did not want to bring it to show me because he was worried about me being mad. We talked and be brought it to me and we agreed that the consequence if he had not told me and tried to hide it would be no iPad until Christmas. Still not sure about his real consequence, but I ordered an otterbox.
Crafty, can you take Timeouts with DS from you FIL when he uses his mean words? I find using the kids language in grown up situations helps them understand better.
Mama, don't mess with a mama bear. We bite.
We used Avent pacifiers with DS but only in the car or to help him fall asleep and took it away once he was asleep. We were completely done with him before he was a year old.
Haven't needed one yet with DD but we'll see how it goes when I leave her for longer stretches. She loves to comfort nurse but is also calmed by movement or sucking on her fingers.
Oh man I am so close to buying pacifiers. We let them suck on our fingers sometimes because they have sucking needs that outlast their hunger needs and they do find it calming. DD never really got into using one and I didn't want her to have it anyway so I got rid of them at 7 weeks. Now I don't know what to do because I know I need all the stimulation I can get to help us with breastfeeding/milk supply so I kind of doubt I'll get them but last night I was twisting my body with one baby on my chest and the other in the crook of my arm sucking on my finger.
I'm jealous of ya'll with babies that LIKE pacis. My kids have always flat out rejected them. They just spit them out and look at me like "WTH was that?" :p LOL I am the human paci and I am pretty used to it. Thankfully #2-4 haven't been nearly as constant nursers as my first - none can compare to that child. Catherine nursed CONSTANTLY. I once pooped (on the toilet) while nursing because I couldn't stand to hear her scream (and she was SO loud).