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A few problems?

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 

I'm a stay at home mom, my daughter is 10 months old now. I live with my parents.

I've noticed lately that whenever I try & pick her up to move her away from something she shouldn';t be playing with she goes "dead-weight" in my arms so I can't pick up and completely freaks out crying. 

 

I'm not sure if it's when she is tired and needs a nap or if she is just pissed that I took he raway from it? When my parents watch her I know they do things differently, she is not allowed to watch TV until she is 2 but sometimes when I walk in the door I see her sitting in front of the TV and immediately move her and tell them it's not allowed and they know it.

 

IDK what could be making her act certain ways but I'd like to know what I can do/observe to understand her a bit more, if anyone has suggestions.

& I also feel as if sometimes I don't pay enough attention to her, she hates her bouncer toys or exersaucers (I guess she throws a small "fit" when I try and put her in) and her favorite things is my 100% attention playing with her on the floor. I would like to make her routine more structured.

 

Can the fact that her dad and I are not together, and rarely sees her(but occasionally) be confusing her as well?

 

Sometimes all this stuff just can make me feel like a terrible mom or Im just not doing good enough!! I feel very distracted or lazy a lot of the time and I think she knows that sometimes I just dont want to play?

post #2 of 3

Hi Tutsi Roll! Her behavior actually sounds completely normal for a child with some spunk that doesn't like that you are removing her. It's like an emerging tantrum. Her going limp is part of a little tantrum of protest, then comes the crying. 

 

There are some great resources on helping children get used to limit setting. You want to be supportive, not punitive. If she's the type to listen, I'd still let her know why you are moving her, even if she can't understand it yet. Something simple like, "outlets arent' safe for babies. Let's go play over here!!!"  Understand that she will be upset, and give her empathy, but then move on.  At her age it is likely less related to the absence of her dad, and more related to your stress level and energy in handling things with her (which might be related to the absence of her dad). 

post #3 of 3
If she doesn't like the exert saucer, don't use it:) Many kids don't like any type of toy that restrains their movement. They also have reeeeally short attention spans at this age. Maybe she gets bored quickly in the exersauser and reacts to being stick there. If you need a safe place to put her for short periods of time, I'd suggest a play yard Luke a pack and play. Then she can move around a bit to choose different activities.

To be honest, though, it sounds like she loves you and just wants your attention. That's a good thing!! Do whatever you can to give it to her. Everything else can wait.
The tv might have become something she enjoys when she's bored while under your parents care.
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