The only reasons I am considering telling them what happened is because 1) we have been struggling so much financially without child support, 2) I don't want them to feel like he just dropped off the face of the earth and forgot about them (though they don't really seem to care either way), and 3) he wants to write to them and/ or call them. I am really concerned he will say something inappropriate over the phone or in his letters, I am planning to read the letters first before giving them to my girls, but I am hoping he will have a good explanation or cover story and I can let the chips fall where they may. However, I am worried that knowing their father is in jail will be very damaging for my girls and and since he is not really involved with their lives and they never even ask me about him, do I really need to tell them? I have created a nice family life for my girls, I am married to a very nice man who they call Daddy (well, mostly the 8 year old calls him that), they have a very regular routine, an adorable baby brother (mine, not the ex's), and I am a stay at home mom. I have worked hard to make things nice for them because they didn't really have a Dad for so long and i just want them to have the chance to grow and have normal lives. The last thing I want is for this news of their irresponsible f-up "father" going to jail to give them issues or upset them. Mostly, I think they would be concerned about his new son, their half brother, and what has happened with him. It's such a messy situation and I really don't know what the best thing to do is. I know honesty is the best policy, but I have my doubts in this instance, and really don't want to do the wrong thing. If i continue to "lie" by just not bringing it up, other than letters from him, there is no way they would find out (we don't know anyone who knows him). But if I don't tell them SOMETHING, they may feel like he doesn't care and stopped calling bc of that (but him not calling is sort of old news so I doubt they will think much of it). Has anyone been in a similar situation and have any advice?
Edited by Oregonicmama - 9/18/13 at 1:12pm