Having a break down here... First off we are homeschooling/unschooling, which means I'm very lax with curriculums, try to stay away from grade levels and let the kids decide what and when they want to learn something. We use work books for math and some spelling stuff. My daughter would be in 7th grade according to public standards and her public schooled friends have all started middle school. Last year she expressed a desire to "keep up" with her public schooled friends. I agreed to order a full 6th grade curriculum under the agreement that she would have to keep up with the schedule, which she wasn't used to. She tried and came close to finishing everything other than math. Under these terms I allowed her to have the summer off, same as her school friends, and we'd start 7th with everyone else. She never finished her 6th grade math so this fall I started her where she left off... and that's where the breakdowns have started. It's a very compounding problem. She is wanting to start Algebra, which is where she feels she should be, but is having a difficult time understanding and reviewing her long division and fractions. She has just plum forgot how to work the problems because she took the summer off, which we'd never done before, and is now having to relearn everything. I won't allow her to move ahead until she understands and can complete the stuff she was supposed to master last year.
This is where the fits are starting, full blown, tearing, yelling, freaking out fits. Big ones, from a girl who has never really thrown them ever, small ones maybe over stupid stuff but never like this. I feel she's trying to rush through the work she was supposed to do last year so she can move ahead, which is why she's having such a hard time relearning the stuff. She feels that she's getting behind and won't be able to catch up now. So she rushes, gets the answers wrong and then throws a major fit, bordering on anxiety attack because, in her words " I'll never catch up again".
It is disrupting everything in the house, making it impossible to help her little brother with his work and leaving everyone feeling wiped out and foul at the end. I don't know where this pressure to keep up with grade levels came from nor do I feel it's okay that she's putting such pressure on herself. I'm at a loss. I can't help her learn the skills to move on because she freaks out if she gets anything wrong, which wastes time, which makes her feel more behind, which makes her freak out more and I'm feeling insane at this point. She yells at me that she's failing because I'm a bad teacher so I've offered a tutor, offered online courses, anything to help, which she is refusing. At this point I know that I'm easily frustrated at the first sign of a fit so I have to walk away. I take her work away from her at that point and tell her to relax, take a walk, do her chores and when she is feeling calmer, come back and try again, which seems to make her more upset cause of the falling behind thing. I think too that the hardest thing for me is that I don't care when she starts algebra, I just want her to be ready for it and am way more concerned about the mental health of these fits and what I've seen to be full blown anxiety attacks. If it was up to me I would burn the math books right now and start over in a few months but every morning she pulls them out and then it's nightmare central...