So here is the short story of my nursing history:
DD was born allergic to dairy protein so I felt it was important to nurse her as long as possible to make sure she got what she needed (I cut out all dairy from my diet)- I thought I would nurse her until 2, but as the 2 year mark came and went, and she was SO into nursing, it was hard to imagine our life without it.
When I got pregnant with DS right before she turned 3 and my milk supply disappeared, it seemed that a natural reason for weaning was there- especially as my nipples were so very sore- I time limited her "nipple time" to twice a day- morning and night time. The whole time she was talking about how she couldn't wait for the baby to be born so my milk would return. I thought she would forget- as the times for her asking to nurse dwindled away, I figured she was weaning herself.
When DS was born, DD asked to nurse right away- as I was super engorged after only 1 day- I let her try it once. Her latch was poor- almost like she had forgotten how to nurse- but she got some milk. After that, it was like a switch got turned on again- she was asking to nurse constantly ( she was 2 months shy of turning 4) and seeing me nurse the baby seemed like a constant trigger to her. I let her tandem nurse occasionally, but was trying to limit the time due to my overwhelming "too touched out" feelings.
Then the unexpected happened. DS was only 5 months old when my DH Died suddenly and unexpectedly. Coupled with the emotional storm of going through the sudden loss of her amazing Daddy (she was very much daddy's little girl), and my husband/partner/best friend, and single parenthood, we went back to the safety of nursing full time again. It seemed the only thing that could calm her (and me) down- a simple, natural and pure way to say without words that she was loved, that we were still a family, and that everything would be ok...
Fast forward to today- almost 2 years out of that day- DD is turning 6 in less than two weeks. I was not expecting to nurse an almost 6 year old (DS is 2) but here we are. I'm tired from not sleeping at night as DS still nurses at night- I've managed to get DD into her own mattress adjacent to mine, and somehow managed to de-couple nursing from the thing we do right before we go to sleep. She still constantly asks to nurse and while I try to distract- if she persists, I let her- usually doing a tandem nursing. I am starting to feel uncomfortable about nursing a 6 year old- mostly due to outside influences.
Not many people know our "secret"- a select few friends who are pushing me towards weaning her completely. I feel like its not fair for her to see her brother nursing if she is still wanting it, and I am trying to wean her off- like if I do this, I need to just wean them both...but I also feel its not fair that DS who loves it so much will be forced to stop as well, and he is only 2 and 2 months. Feeling very conflicted right now =(