or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Starting to wonder how I'm going to do this!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Starting to wonder how I'm going to do this!

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Hello, all! I'm 36 weeks and thrilled that we are having another baby. However, my son is almost four years old and still very dependent on me, especially at night. I was reading some other posts from moms trying to figure out how to put their toddlers and babies to bed, and basically everyone said that hubby needs to put one of them to bed to make things work. Well, my husband is gone all the time. He has a job that takes him out of town more than he is home. I have some help during the day but I am always on my own at night. My toddler does not go to bed alone, I stay with him until he goes to sleep. But soon I will have a tiny baby... How am I going to do this? I'm just wondering about the logistics. The other thing is my DS1 still nurses during the night....
I know it will work out but I'm feeling a little nervous right now!!!
post #2 of 6

30 weeks here and having the exact same feelings! I was actually talking to a friend about it yesterday how nervous I am. But I try to tell myself that a lot of mothers managed 3, 4 and even more children so we'll find a way (RIGHT?).  Actually my friend had to leave us with her baby crying and her toddler refusing to put his shoes on by himself, and she still managed.

My plan so far is to wing it... perhaps not the best plan :innocent

post #3 of 6
I actually think winging it is a pretty good plan. You don't know what the situation is going to be so it's hard to plan too much. Toddler might wean. Newborn might be happy to sleep next to you while you feed toddler etc.

When I was on my own with a newborn and 2.5yo I fed the toddler *if* I could. If not, she had to make do with singing and my presence. Then i weaned her from feeding to sleep because it just didn't work for us. She often has a short feed before she goes to sleep but she doesn't fall asleep feeding anymore.

ETA - I wondered how I was going to do it too and I was worried about my husband going back to work. I realised the other day that it's not even on my worry radar anymore. If someone asked me how I coped with two I would have to stop and think "what is there to cope with?" You just absorb it as your new reality and coping strategies become automatic.
post #4 of 6
You'll figure it out, it may be hard at times, but it will work out. With my twins (which is different since they are the same age, but it might help), I sometimes tandem feed them, soothing if one finishes eating, then put the more awake one down in a bouncy or rocking seat and soothe the other one down and lay them down, then quickly get the other soothed down (hopefully). Other times I will feed one while holding the other or rocking/bouncing them in a chair, sometimes having to alternate who I am feeding a couple times before I get one calmed down enough to sleep. I try to put the one who will fall asleep fastest down first, but sometimes I have to put the one who is going to be more fussy and loud down first instead or he/she will just wake up the other one. I wouldn't want to have to put my almost-4-year-old down for the night too, but I have done it twice when DH was getting home too late to do it and you figure it out. I can read to my DD1 if she turns the pages for me while nursing the twins. I've also use the TV or special toys or snack she doesn't get often to distract her while I put the twins to bed. Promises of play once the babies are asleep sometimes work too. Hopefully it will go pretty easy for you, but you'll figure it out.

One thing you can do now if you haven't already is start preparing DS1 for change. He still won't be a fan of all the changes when they come, but at least it will be a little less of a shock to him. I'd just talk to him briefly about it every day or every other day, the good and the bad. This really helped DD1 to understand ahead of time that Mommy wasn't always going to be available immediately anymore and all that. Good luck, you'll do great!
post #5 of 6

I was just talking to a friend about the sleep issues she always had with her daughter (now 7 yo). Kiddo never slept on her own either, and mom said around age 3 1/2 or so they switched to "bedtime" means "be in your room and be quiet" because they got sick of having to stay with her until she was asleep. Maybe some variant of that would be worth trying--see if he can wind down by himself and eventually get in bed and go to sleep. 

post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 
I'm sorry I never replied to this! For some reason, on some of my threads, I never receive a notification when someone replies so I assume no one did.

We are pretty much at the end of my pregnancy over here. I'm 40 weeks tomorrow! My husband has been home so has been putting DS to bed and sleeping in his room with him which has allowed me to get some really good sleep. Only problem is, I know once the baby comes DH will fly away back to work. It's just the nature of his career. But at least now I feel like DS is a little more independent from me.

I like what someone said about "winging it" LOL. I don't really have a choice, do I? On top of everything my son's wonderful nanny has decided to go to South America in November! For three weeks!! She did ask me if it was okay. How could I tell a young girl in her twenties not to take this opportunity? Sheesh, if it were me you KNOW I would be going!! I'll figure it out...

Thanks again for all the replies. :-) It's helpful just knowing I'm not alone.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: I'm Pregnant
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Starting to wonder how I'm going to do this!