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post #41 of 179
I joined under a different username when my DD was about two or three but left because I got fed up with the judgmental environment then came back in 2008.

I have noticed a lot of change both for better and worse. Alfie Kohn used to be very big as was NFL with very little dissent and a lot of attacking. I sometimes laugh now at what people see as attacks because it is rare for it to get as bad as it was when very few ideas were accepted as gentle. I think some of the change came because as kids get older most children do go through a stage that throws their parents for a loop and humbles them. Or, it's hard to see well adjusted school age children everywhere and still hold yourself above everyone else.

I do miss the hard core NFL and Kohn followers though because their ideas helped me question my own parenting. It would be nice to see a bit more balance. I feel like we are currently seeing backlash against the hardcore that was in control before.
post #42 of 179

Joined when the boys were babies-and they are 13 now. I never posted much, but always appreciated the dialogue and wisdom on these boards. I spent hours reading back in the day. Mothering has changed, but just looking at today's new posts, the same topics keep coming up!

post #43 of 179
Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post

I have noticed a lot of change both for better and worse. Alfie Kohn used to be very big as was NFL with very little dissent and a lot of attacking.

I'm not sure what time you're talking about but the GD board is definitely one that has changed a lot - and has changed several times over the years. There was a time when I was really active there that it was almost entirely dominated by TCS members. I think TCS is pretty radical, even today, so that was interesting. Even being on the fringe of that philosophy and not relating to it that well at all, I still loved having those members here. For me, I couldn't really understand why anyone would want to post in a GD forum unless they wanted to expand their definition and philosophies about discipline - get different strategies outside of the obvious and etc. What I suppose was unfortunate is if good non-TCS but still very respectful ideas were drowned out by that one dominant (and difficult to relate to for many) TCS idea - and I'm sure this happened a lot. 



Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post

I think some of the change came because as kids get older most children do go through a stage that throws their parents for a loop and humbles them. Or, it's hard to see well adjusted school age children everywhere and still hold yourself above everyone else.

Agreed, though I do remember feeling like everyone had older children than me when posting way back. I remember never feeling like I could really stand my ground on my discipline philosophy, for instance, when I had such a young child and so little experience to test my ideas. Now my kids are older and sometimes I'll see a post from someone without kids or with really young kids and I wonder about how that person's ideals will be tested over time. There was a thread recently that touched on that idea in a really deep way. 

post #44 of 179
I don't remember tcs but consensual living was pretty big when I first joined and that group seemed more extreme than the Kohn group. I think GD was the only general parenting board for a long time. I remember finding the parenting one and finding it a better fit but it wasn't used much for a while.
post #45 of 179

I think TCS and consensual living are similar philosophies and, yes, are a bit more extreme than Kohn, who I find pretty accessible. 

post #46 of 179

I remember you, USAmma.  I was around a lot when my first two were little  (2004+ ish).  I now have a 3 year old, and have just come back for a peek.  I have missed Mothering! 

post #47 of 179
I remember US Amma! My oldest & your younger daughter are the same age roughly, we posted on the toddler board regularly in 05/06. I joined in 05 when oldest DS was 6-7 months. This board got me to try cloth after posting a "seriously, WHY?" post asking if it didn't just even out considering water usage. Never thought about chemicals...went on to fully CD two kiddos out of my 4...didn't do it when we shared laundry facilities. Got less active when I got busy with a houseful of tiny people & more IRL crunchy friends. Back recently just for fun. Lots of parenting & school board use.
post #48 of 179
I dont know what TCS is (fill me in!) but I am also on a CL egroup. Left that for awhile when I felt it was bordering on ridiculous, came back later. (I draw the line at teaching children it is acceptable to use say, a shower curtain on the floor as an alternative toilet. That was about the time I left.) I find a tendency in that mindset toward "consensual" meaning "allow whatever makes the children happy." It seems a little less extreme lately. Top me,
post #49 of 179
Consensual means including & considering your children's views, but also working with the adults' needs & desires. In another example of extreme, I was told I was being unconsensual because I said I would not allow my 3 year old oldest child say in whether our not we were leaving our two-bedroom, no laundry facility, 3rd floor apartment. At the time, my newly widowed mother was moving in with our family & I was 7.5 months PG with baby#3. My older children were getting complaints from downstairs neighbor. And I wanted laundry facilities in my home so I could cloth diaper my toddler & new baby. But the "consensual" thing to do was apparently not to take my child with & let him sew
post #50 of 179
see neighborhoods & homes & choose a place near say, a fun park that was an appropriate size for our family if the child objected because he liked "our park". Kids don't always love change, but it CAN be accomplished while respecting their needs & listening to their fears. We did move then, and again recently, and will move again for hubby's work. I can't shee with allowing children to dictate that we stay in a home that is far too a small for the family or where adults have no work or school opportunities necessary to support the family. Sorry for the book. Obviously something that shaped my thinking about how I parent.
post #51 of 179

I've been on several discussion boards, some for parenting, some for alternative lifestyles, on some I have moderated, some I stayed a long time, some only a few weeks.


For the boards I have been on a long time, I always hear "Things were different and better before."  Things like a discussion board are dynamic (always changing and growing) and, like it or not, styles and fads change. When I was a new parent, 27 years ago, things like "The Paleo Diet" or "Elimination Communication" were not even heard of. I remember when Attachment Parenting was originally called "Immersion Parenting." Then someone came up to Dr. Bill Sears at a conference and said, "You know that "immersion" means "in over your head" don't you?" So, the name of this "style" of parenting was changed. Jane Liedloff's Continuum Concept was one of the few books about AP, until the Sears' entered the scene full time.


I first subscribed to Mothering Magazine in 1986, bought as many back issues as I could, around the time I joined La Leche League in the summer of 1986, when our first baby was born.


I've cruised by MDC site, and may have even had a user name years ago, but I can't remember clearly.

post #52 of 179

I do recognize a few of these names, even though mine isn't recognizable. I originally joined in 2000-2001, I remember I was reading Mothering on 9/11 and realized what was happening from the threads and ran for the TV. Forgot my username at some point, so my rejoin date is 2004. For years I was a very active lurker! LOL But as the kids got older, I realized that issues I was so obsessed about when they were babies, just didn't matter so much in the long run. I gradually stopped reading, even though every now and again, this evening for example, I hop on for old times sake. But I learned alot when my kids were young and am grateful for it. Kids are now 16,14 and 10.

post #53 of 179
Oh! I see so many familiar names and stories! I'm Spark and I had a different user name when I first joined in 2000/2001 post crash. It was my actual name... Because I was totally clueless about safety on the internet! Ha!

I read Mothering before I even had kids (mid-90's) and found MDC when I was expecting my oldest. I didn't really post much then, but I certainly spent many an hour nursing him and TTC my second! What a wonderful support.

Like so many of you, I've definitely mellowed as my children and I have learned from each other. I never did use a shower curtain as a toilet alternative but I certainly took many tips, tricks, virtual hugs and laughs from MDC and hopefully gave enough back in return.

How funny to happen upon this thread. Warm hugs to you!
post #54 of 179

I remember many of you! :love 


I joined Mothering in 1998-1999 when the discussion forums were first opened. Mothering put out a call to readers to volunteer as moderators and I jumped at the chance. I was "Cynthia of Arabia" then and moderated Alternative & Complementary Medicine and one of the Breastfeeding forums. When the site webmaster/administrator went on maternity leave in 2001 I was hired to take her position until she returned. She decided to stay home with her baby and never came back. I've been here ever since, serving as webmaster, administrator and community manager. 


I love Mothering magazine will all my heart. :heartbeat It helped me raise my kids better than I probably would have without it. Would love to see it come back to life. I have every issue! Anyone else have a full collection? 

post #55 of 179
I don't think I qualify as an oldie, but I've been here since 2005, when my DS was a baby. I wish I had found this place when (or before) I was pregnant with him!
post #56 of 179
Thread Starter 

limabean you are an oldie in my book! :-)

post #57 of 179
Thread Starter 

Cynthia! How nice to see you on this thread! I think you are the oldest oldie! :-) I'm so impressed with your work that you have been doing locally to promote breastfeeding and other important issues. Meeting you in person is on my wish list too.

post #58 of 179
Thread Starter 

OceanOne, Spark, My3Monkees!  IdentityCrisisMama, tabitha, Peony, Viola (your baby is 14!), fruitfulmama, blessed with boys, So many familiar names. Hope everyone is doing well.

post #59 of 179
Thread Starter 

I have changed a lot since joining and being a very active member. But my heart is the same. I see changes in MDC but the main issues are the same, the threads are the same- just different names starting them. It's nice to see that such a community is here to encourage the next batch of babies and kids. The world will be a better place.

post #60 of 179

well i joined when a mom from a mainstream site refered me here. i made some good friends in that group and i still am friends with them and our basis was special needs, but its here that i have really enjoyed posting since 2005. 


i just love the community here - even with all the changes. i was always interested in hte parenting aspect - was never active in the political forum. 


i love parenting. i love talking about it, i love admitting my mistakes and prejudices and intolerances. i have changed a lot since i've been here and eaten crow quite a bit. i have enjoyed bring up nonparental deep topics and discussing them here. 


like lima i wish i had found this place before dd was born. i would have made different birthing choices. 


i'd rather hang here than facebook. 

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