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how many of us oldies are still around? - Page 5

post #81 of 179

Been here since 2006, my oldest is seven, my other is 4. Still a great place to come when I am perplexed.  I miss the magazine terribly.

post #82 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piglet68 View Post
 

 

 

Isn't life with older kids great? I'm so enjoying the people they have become. And it's not such hard work physically anymore, phew! - whenever I see mamas chasing around after their toddlers I think "yep, I'm done with that!".

 

Looking forward to grandbabies some day though!  :bgbounce

Im interested to hear how you reflect on mothering now that kids are older/how is it better?

post #83 of 179

I was a refugee from HipMama way back when.  DD is almost 13 now, and she was a baby then.  

 

I don't post much any more, but I still pop in to read pretty regularly.  

post #84 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post
 

Im interested to hear how you reflect on mothering now that kids are older/how is it better?

 

I think mostly it's because I'm 45 years old now and don't have as much energy as I used to. I loved all the stages of my children, and can feel proud that I gave them my full attention and time, but when I consider now chasing after a toddler...yikes! I feel exhausted just thinking about it, lol! I like sleeping in my own bed, alone (though I confess every now and then we'll have a family bed night!), I like sleeping through the night! I have many more hobbies now (sewing, quilting, running, horseback riding) because I have more free time.

 

I love the freedom of being able to go out for a run and leaving the kids at home. Recently DH and I went grocery shopping together, without kids, for the first time since we were just married (we had our daughter less than a year later). 

 

I love that they are old enough to help themselves to snacks, and on Saturdays they make their own dinner to give me a night off from cooking. 

 

But mostly, I love the people they are becoming! DD is a tween and doing a lot of self-exploration of herself, friendship, etc. We have amazing talks where she shares her thoughts and feelings on things and it feels like such a privilege, if that doesn't sound too weird!

 

I have an amazing relationship with both my kids and, like USAmma said, I thank MDC for setting me on the right path. When DD was 10 there were a couple months there when things were looking like me and my mum - lots of arguing and clashing of wills - I realized I'd wandered off the path and turned it right around immediately and have never looked back. I rarely ever get into it with my kids nowadays, for which I'm very thankful. 

post #85 of 179

Interestingly, i am 46, and still have a very active toddler to chase...( and she's really fast)...not getting those full nights of sleep yet either. Reading your post, it makes me to look forward to becoming me again,  but with  older kids!

 

People have often said to me. having boys is harder when younger, but girls are harder when teenagers. I think to myself, that depends on the kind of parenting you  gave them when younger. (but i cant really form an opinion until i get there) However, i feel confident that the principles we find on this site will  make parenting adolescents easier all round.

 

Have others found this?

post #86 of 179

I am still here to. I check back from time to time.  mine are now 21,17,16,13 WOOW where did the time go.

MDC was my saving grace through them years

 

blessings

amy

post #87 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post
 

Im interested to hear how you reflect on mothering now that kids are older/how is it better?


i am one of those mom’s who inspite of having a high needs child has actually found parenting to get harder as they grow up. I can deal with all the physical stuff - the sleeplessness, tantrums, whining, etc (well hard when u r going thru them, but in retrospect dont seem so hard) but not the emotional.

 

Under 10 parenting was V. Intuitive for me. When i had my doubts i came here and got reassured. I’ve also done things which are not ‘normal’ for even MDC. Just knowing that even tho i stretch the limits to a greater extent and its OK from mamas here was V. Reassuring and good for my confidence as a parent. and thus to mothering my child. (i am vacillating between mothering as MDC and mothering as another word for parenting)

 

But i feel now my journey as a parent has really just begun. I come to a whole nother level of parenting where i am struggling. Dd is 11 going on 13. Looking back the yesteryears were so simple. Nothing seems simple anymore. V. Subtle but more important. I certainly am grateful i have mdc here to help me figure out parenting now.

 

I am the opposite of piglet. Dd still cosleeps with me sometimes. I miss her when she sleeps by herself and i find i dont sleep as well as when she sleeps with me. From childhood i have always been the child who slept better when there was someone in the bed with me.

 

In middle school i am entering a new phase as i take dd out of school to start homeschooling her. I am freaked out. I had more confidence to hs when dd was young. Now not so much. So i am grateful MDC is here to help me with that.

post #88 of 179
21 years I've loved Mothering , info ,empowerment & support!! Now I get to share it all over again with my DIL!!
post #89 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by just a mom View Post

21 years I've loved Mothering , info ,empowerment & support!! Now I get to share it all over again with my DIL!!
That's awesome!
post #90 of 179
My oldest was 6 when I joined. He's 14 now! I read the magazine before he was even born. As far as changing as a parent, I've loosened up a lot in many regards, and in other's, I've become more adamant.

I have become an intactavist, which I never even thought about before I had a boy! I have.become a mama bear when it comes to my kids education and special ed.

I've become relaxed about rough play, tv, video games. I swore "my children" would never do any of those things. LOL!

I've also become much more understanding of other people's parenting choices.
post #91 of 179
I've been around since 04... My youngest was just born and he will be 10 in a few months... I come and go now a days but may be around a bit more soon since we will be ttc in a few months *eeeps* whole new world, that!
post #92 of 179

Re: things getting easier/harder 

 

For me things just get different so far. There are some things that are just way, way easier with older children. Like Piglet, I love to sleep through the night, love the bed to myself, and absolutely love time to do things on my own, whether that be a carefree weekend away or various work or creative projects. OTOH, I think raising young children is pretty straightforward. And, I'm good at it. There is a complexity to rising a pre-teen that is stressful and exhausting to me in a much different way. To date the only thing to bring me to tears and keep me up at night was my DC's reading delay and our choice to go against advice and not have her tested for a LD/IEP. Going against the grain isn't something new to me...but this was different and it was HARD!  My dad has 5 children (18 years apart!) and he says it gets easier your kids are about 35. ;-)  

post #93 of 179

dd started sleeping through the night when she was almost 3 1/2. it took me weeks to realise woah. she no longer nurses at 2 am. she is 11 now and at least 5 days a week i wake up between 2 and 3 am and am up for an hour or so and then go back to sleep. i no longer can sleep through the night. 

post #94 of 179

Hey, I think I must have joined around the same time, maybe in the year before. My oldest was born in 200 and we moved across country when he was 8 weeks old. This was a community I could have, and relate to back then. Now I have 2 more.

 

I was off for a long time, but rejoined just to see what else I don't know. Still, life is busy, so I don't get on enough!

 

-maury

post #95 of 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama View Post
 

Re: things getting easier/harder 

 

For me things just get different so far. There are some things that are just way, way easier with older children. Like Piglet, I love to sleep through the night, love the bed to myself, and absolutely love time to do things on my own, whether that be a carefree weekend away or various work or creative projects. OTOH, I think raising young children is pretty straightforward. And, I'm good at it. There is a complexity to rising a pre-teen that is stressful and exhausting to me in a much different way. To date the only thing to bring me to tears and keep me up at night was my DC's reading delay and our choice to go against advice and not have her tested for a LD/IEP. Going against the grain isn't something new to me...but this was different and it was HARD!  My dad has 5 children (18 years apart!) and he says it gets easier your kids are about 35. ;-)  

I agree.  The preteen/teen ages are rough in their own way.  Dh and I went out to dinner, by ourselves, and didn't need a baby sitter.  We suddenly realized that we were at a whole new stage in parenting and in our relationship. It has been like a whole new world opening up for us! 

 

But I've found that teens are really confusing.  Some days it seems like your talking to a grown up and others, a toddler, just in a bigger body.  You never know which one you'll get.  Then there are the social, emotional, physical changes they are going through.  Wow!  Does that throw you for a loop.  Suddenly, your not up at night because someone is kicking you or crying.  You're up at night while they are fast asleep, worrying about how there grades are?  What about having a significant other?  What about sex and driving and drugs?  Those are the nights I think back to having a foot in my face, and miss it.  LOL!

post #96 of 179

I've been here since 2002, when my first was born. I went on to have 2 more children, so I have a soon to be 11 year old daughter, 8 1/2  year old daughter and a 3 1/2  year old son.

I do miss being pregnant, the excitement of it, ( but not the constant vomiting that seems to follow me through each pregnancy ) .

I feel sad that I will never carry another baby, give birth , which I love , but that last labour was a doozy, or nurse another baby. My son just stopped nursing in July :(

However, I am glad that I have my sleep back. I don't need loads of sleep, but I do love uninterrupted sleep!

 

I am going through a tough time with my 10 year old. She has such a wicked attitude , and is mean and nasty to her sister. I know all siblings argue, but I cannot stand the constant mean girl act, that I know is not her, just the raging hormones.

Lots of deep breaths!

post #97 of 179

I hear you on the 'missing being pregnant' etc. My own mother told me when i had my 2nd child,'its such a high isnt it?'...i was  too exhausted to think about it. Its more of  high in retroespct so to speak. That early part of becoming a mother is so life altering, and does in fact change the brain.  I wonder about it. I dont plan on having another child, but i still contemplate it (im 46...and already have 3)

 

I suppose i will look back on this as just another phase. Im in between two phases...the baby/young child phase, and the older child phase. Its just so strange to me that we go through so much, and our lives  and bodies so altered, and then its over.... but then never really over.

 

 

I worry about my mother worrying about us(my 4 siblings,) and we're all over 40

post #98 of 179

Been here pre-crash, when I was pregnant with my firstborn.  I've had off and on years of inactivity.  Probably mainly active in the general areas and the Adoption and Foster Parenting forum.

 

I am a hell of a lot more relaxed and compassionate now towards other parents.  I really regret some of the things I said and did during my most rabid time as an AP parent.  Of course, a lot of the gilding came off when I had twins 17 months after my firstborn and could not be perfectly perfect.

 

I really enjoy my older kids.  But I'm doing the pregnancy thing all over again (honestly, my twin pregnancy was an absolute traumatic nightmare, and I'm dealing with a lot of visceral memories cropping up now), due to surprise pregnancy, I'm due March 2014, and my DD will be 12, my DSes almost 11.  Frankly, I'm not sure what I'm going to do without a pack of kids, and it'll definitely be interesting now to be on the older side of the spectrum (I'll be 40 in July).  I do feel I'll be a lot more mellow this time around.  And a LOT more confident.  There's something to be said for not feeling the need to "prove" anything to anyone (including other APers) anymore.  :)

post #99 of 179

I joined before the crash when MDC was so very different. I was just getting used to being a SAHM and also getting used to this amazing thing called the internet ( ;

My baby is turning 13 years old tomorrow. I can hardly believe it.

I do come back sometimes to ask questions or give support, but mostly I don't have the time I used to for posting.

post #100 of 179

I've been a member for a long time, but haven't been very active for years.  First, the level of moderation made the place uninteresting (hint, when the UA longer than Britannica, something is wrong), then there was a weird thing where they started sticking people's posts on facebook without warning. I checked in about a year ago and the board was so slow and so buggy I don't know how anyone stood it.

 

I just popped in today for the first time since then, and I'm delighted to see that the speed and organization is much, much improved.  I guess I'll see what the moderation level is like. ;)

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