Seriously I tell myself this discussion needs to be shelved for a couple of years but every day I find myself thinking "Oh, I want another baby. I want a VBAC, I want a baby who nurses well, I want a pregnancy where I actually feel good..." and then 2 minutes later I think "wow, high risk for twins, I can't imagine twins, bed rest, PTL, NICU, all this work breastfeeding again. We should just be done. 3 living kids is enough." And I don't really want anyone to say "yeah have another kid" but how on earth do I shut my brain off on this topic? I want to just enjoy my babies without worrying about getting pregnant again and worrying about another miscarriage or anything else. I'm just such a planner it stinks. And DH and I are so tired I can't imagine going through this exhaustion again. The finances for another child would be harder especially if we kept up funding college funds for all of them, we'd need a bigger vehicle and probably eventually a house with two bathrooms! Anyway, I just love being a mommy and love kids so much I don't know if I'll ever feel done but I hate that I'm even wasting brain energy considering this. Anyone else have brains that do this or what suggestions do you have? I love my little family I have right now and they're awesome but it does make me sad to think about being done, which makes me think we're really not. Then again I think I'll always feel that way.
Anyone else thinking about being done or having another one?
It is very hard. We are 99% sure we are done, because of my age (I just turned 42, DH is 33), and for financial and logistical reasons. However there is a part of me that would love to do it again and have another newborn. I am trying to make the most of DD's babyhood but she is growing up too fast for me! I have to confess to a few tears when I put a shirt she had outgrown in the "to sell" pile.
I'm 31...if I knew we would have a healthy singleton I would be more confident that we'd try again. But I have a high risk for miscarriage without meds, with meds I have a high likelihood of multiples (I hate to say risk because our twins are awesome and we love them but it would be very overwhelming to go through twin pregnancy and babies again). I know some people do have two sets of twins and they manage somehow but man it's hard just with one set! Regardless we will wait probably until they're about 3 at the earliest. I'd be 34 then and I don't want to go much later than 35.
I'm done. Really. This is #3 for us, and even though I had a great uneventful pregnancy I am turning 45 at the end of the year. Three always felt like the right number for us (although I always thought there might be a set of twins since it can run in the family), so I feel pretty happy right now.
Especially since DD#2 is such a sweet mellow girl so far! After the intensity of DD and DS as little people (DD #1 almost didn't have any siblings, since she was a VERY difficult babe to parent), I just want to enjoy this one as much as possible.
My DD was so high needs, too. My bigger twin is so easy going and happy. I think if all babies were like he is people would have more kids...my little guy is more sensitive but nowhere near as fussy as DD (she's a hard one to top, though. Our doctor said she was one of the two most sensitive babies she'd ever met).
Our plan has always been four, with the caveat that it is nice that they unusually come one at a time so we can change our minds. But for me, I am good with one more. Three has been pretty easy and when is not, it is the big kids, not the baby. Husband is less sure and really wants to live with three for a bit, he is still feeling all the extra childcare and the survival parenting from the first few weeks pp and chunks of pregnancy. But pregnancy and postpartum are just a year, less, and we can survive that again. And I am 29 so that makes everything a little easier.
But nothing is going to happen this year. I like the 2 year three month spacing we have and do not want anything under two years.
Oh I can't try before the boys are two yrs old at least. I can't TTC while nursing and I hope to nurse them 2+ yrs. I just wish it were an easier decision but maybe in 2-3 yrs we'll be more rested and forget about how chaotic and stressful this has been. I'm so exhausted right now that when I"m done pumping I want to take a nap with the babies and let DD watch a video. Probably sounds terrible of me but I've been up since 3 a.m. and that's after being up at 12 to pump so really another poor night of sleep as always.
We are planning on at least one more, based on what my body can handle. Both of my kidlets were born via cesarean after really long labors and pushing (though not as long as cardigan went!) and my uterus tore both times. After DD the doctors told me my uterus has some really thin spots now and I shouldn't labor... so given that the rest of my children are recommended to also be cesarean babies, I just don't know how many I'll have. DH and I want 6. That's probably not going to happen.
When DS1 was born people immediately started asking us when we were going to have another, and I was appalled. I kept thinking, Look at what we just made! Can't we have some time to appreciate this beautiful little creature? But this time around I am already thinking that I want to do it again! I was contemplating pregnancy again before I was healed from this labor! Madness I tell you!
Hi! Haven't been on in awhile but I laughed and smiled when I saw this post. We had already decided that we were only having two (financially, logistically). I like the idea of a family of 4. It just seems even and easy and we dont have to get bigger cars and pay for extra plane tickets, etc etc. But ever since I had Willa, I have been thinking about another baby! It seems so crazy to me. But I think I am in denial that she is my last because I am a very sentimental person and I get sad thinking about it. And she is so sweet, we make great babies! Plus, I just want to have another VBAC. I loved labor (call me crazy after 40+ hours and several hours of pushing) and I know I would most likely have a shorter labor next time. As for pregnancy, I am so sick during the first tri, feel great during the 2nd and hate the third. Plus, I worry about BP and GD. Lastly, I have two girls which I LOVE having but part of me isn't sure I want 3 for some reason. So. All that being said. I know it really does not make sense to have another but part of me may always wonder. I love the newborn phase and it ends so quickly!
I put away all my maternity clothes and have started giving away girl clothes and I got a little sad. My husband said to keep SOME. He hears me talk about another and he hasn't ruled it out and we talked about me getting the IUD. Who knows!
I just hate that I think about it so much. terrible day with sick kids. I'm stressed out and exhausted then my "out" is to say we're done, I am not doing this again.
I look at my cute babies and I just love kids and love being a mommy and think "I don't want to be done, let's have more..."
But with multiple miscarriages that makes everything harder and scarier. With my two pregnancies that ended in live births I was very sick the first half and quite uncomfortable with the twins the whole time! But I am betting in a few yrs when we're more rested we will try again. Just because I feel so not-done. Even if financially it makes a ton more sense to just stop. We live below our means anyway and are super frugal so we could make it work. But then again I hate to put myself through all of this again and nursing has been such a huge struggle for both DD and our twins.
I am still hoping to have 4. I lose so much weight when I am nursing and with my first it took me a long time to bounce back. There is a three years between my two and I don't think my body can physically handle having them any closer together. I was hoping to have all my little ones close in age, but I don't think it will happen. Although, it has made it pretty easy. DD can buckle herself in the car seat and get her shoes and coat on herself. She is such a help for me with the baby too.
We are done. As soon as the government is running again, I want DH in to get his V. While I'd love to do the labor thing again and maybe even the newborn thing again, 4 is enough. I don't really enjoy pregnancy, I'd be nervous about a super fast delivery and potential complications, I don't really want more than 4 kids, don't want to buy a conversion van, am ready to move on and do bigger kid things, etc, etc... We've already started getting rid of some of the baby stuff and more to follow. I have great excitement about purging. :)
I'm 98% sure we're done. We have 2 boys, 5 years apart. I will be 35 at the end of this month. We are already bursting the seams of our 2 bedroom townhouse, and I don't see us able to move from here any time soon. Financially we are very tight. I had pretty bad nausea/vomiting both pregnancies, but otherwise pregnancy and birth have gone quite well for me, and we have been so lucky to have had healthy pregnancies without much effort. Now that we've had our second and we know he is our last, I will admit I get major pangs of sadness thinking that I will never give birth again, I will never have a 5 week old again after this week, etc. But most of the time I am at peace with being done and our family does feel complete now.