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Weekly Chat -- Chatting into our birth month! Sept 29 - Oct 6 - Page 4

post #61 of 155

I have a question for you ladies... A "what would you do" type of question... so I've been at the company I work at for 3 years now. My boss doesn't do reviews unless you request them. After the first year I requested my review and got the standard raise. After the second year I never requested a review so did not get a raise (the company was a bit slow and I was pretty sure he would say no so I kept putting it off)... another year has passed and now would be the time for me to request my 3 year review. Would you do it now if you were me? Or would you wait until after returning from maternity leave? Or would you request the review now and then request for any raise to start after the return. I feel a little guilty asking for a raise when I'm about to be out for a few weeks!

post #62 of 155

I asked my husband last night if he had a magic button that he could just push and I would go into labor right then, would he do it?  He replied, "Yes, but only because I don't want to go to work tomorrow."  Way to be a grown man, dear.


No, but he did say he wished I would go this weekend when I'm 39 weeks.  I think that's because we spent a couple of months thinking I was going to be induced at 39 and so there was part of him that was looking forward to that being the end.  Obviously, it's much better than my potential induction is now at 41 weeks, but it's hard not to think, man, I could be having a baby in a few days!  If only induction wasn't so crappy in so many ways.


I've been cramping every night and morning for, oh, a month and a half now, maybe?  Something like that?  I do know the baby is dropping slightly, which is great.  My Braxton Hicks have increased this week - also great, but not really a sign of anything in the end, I know. 


Again, I know I'm a broken record, but all I care about is avoiding induction.  I want to be able to labor naturally, it's all I care about.  Don't care when it happens.  I know most people hit the induction timer at 42 weeks, so it's not as if 41 is all that much sooner, but it still scares me.  I keep holding on to the fact that my mom went into labor with me 3 days past her due date, and I was her first baby.  I told my husband I had a really funny feeling about October 16th, and he took me at my word and had his boss schedule him only until that day (he can get shifts covered if I go earlier than that, though). 


I need to go clean something. 

post #63 of 155

Superbeans, get the review now while your performance is fresh in everybody's minds. Let them make the offer first of when to start the raise. But if you've been doing a great job you deserve the raise now.


Sounds like we all wish our babies would come a little early! But I guess there's a reason it's all about the 40 weeks. Still, one can hope...

post #64 of 155
Many more babies will be arriving soon!!!!! I can't wait to hear all about it!!!!
post #65 of 155

Superbeans - I'm sorry to hear that. I felt violated after they did my pap {first I'd ever had} and it took me days to get over it. When they have checked me it really wasn't bad at all, it was a little better when the Dr did it her self as she was a little more gentle then her NP. But shortly before my first check I thought I wanted to heat things up with DH, and everything he hit hurt...I'm guessing things were not so soft in there at that point....I can't believe that lady had long nails tho! That's just wrong.


Yogi - I know what your talking about with having a hard time eating. Heartburn is not too much of an issue but room was, I had to munch all day long. I kept a bag of granola at my side for days, pick at it, then 15-30 minutes later eat a small amount of real food. Now between that and I'm pretty sure my baby dropping I can almost eat a normal sized meal again. Only now I feel half way sick a lot {Idk why} So even with the room I just don't really feel like eating. I normally LOVE food, I'll be glad when I can enjoy it again.


Me today - Soooo sleepy. I fell asleep rather early last night/this morning, and slept good, even got a nap in this afternoon. And I've ate good today. But still so tired feeling. Still mostly tight and uncomfy, some contractions and cramping. Feeling some other strange changes "down there". I'm trying not to read too much into any of it. So far I'm having an easyer time waiting on my own labor then when it's kidding season for our goats. Lol.

post #66 of 155
Thread Starter 

9 pounds 5 ounces!  When labor switched from early labor (I was at about 3cm for all of Wednesday until 1am last night)) & finally switched gears & got intense, I had an hour of living hell and nonstop monster contractions in which I went from 3 to 10cm, followed by 3 pushes/15 minutes, & poof!    all was done and she nursed both breasts like an aficianado.  I am feeling SO much better with this huge baby gal outta me!  Perfect health and so, so calm and chill and serene like her daddy.

Edited by Serafina33 - 10/3/13 at 9:33am
post #67 of 155

Yay!! Congrats Serafina!

post #68 of 155


post #69 of 155
Serafina, yay! Congrats, and I'm so glad to hear how much better you feel. No wonder, with such a big girl!
post #70 of 155
Congrats on that big baby girl!!!! So much hair!! Beautiful!!!
post #71 of 155
Oh yay! Serafina congratulations your little lady is gorgeous!
post #72 of 155

She is adorable! Congratulations on her wonderful, intense birth, and congratulations on being DONE with pregnancy. 

post #73 of 155
Thread Starter 

Thanks!  I was wishing to die for that hour, very much like my first intense premature surprise birth, but hey, bandaid ripped off, over & done, so who can complain?  My homebirth was so much more bearable, i never even thought twice about wishing for pain relief or feeling like it was too much, until it was time to push and then of course those final minutes (about 15, like all my pushing/transition stages) are always really intense but what can you do.  I want to attribute it to being in the comfort of home but i honestly think it was coincidence, and I just had really intense labors with #1 &#3 and no matter where I would have been it would have been an hour of hell, no way out of it -but through it.  
I totally lost morale and begged for every and any intervention I could have gotten!  but considering I was at 9cm when I asked, it's not like there were any options left for me at that point anyways, so I can pretend I was a noble natural birth-er, but really in the final hour I am a blubbering, begging mess but it's simply not an option anymore, so, by default I have had three totally natural births.  :lol


I guess it really is true that when you panic and despair and want to give up, you are really not that far (minutes, not hours) from the finish line.  That has been true all three times for me. I just had a hard time remembering that in the moment, and was scared to death I was going to be stuck there in that much pain for much longer.  No words of encouragement meant anything to me.  Funny thing is, I sent my doula home when I realized my labor had not really progressed in 6 hours and it was after midnight and I figured there was no reason for her to sit with me all night while we watch movies on netflix and I use the TENS machine for 1 minute of pain relief while I sat silently breathing through the contractions, every four minutes.  It was so manageable and "not going anywhere" I thought, that I just told her to go get sleep in her own bed and come back when things were moving.  My fiance and I even decided to go home ourselves, and I had my shoes and coat on!  Then really suddenly the contractions became so strong that there was no way I was even going to be able to walk out of the building, and soon after my water broke and they checked and I was at 9cm and they threw together final preparations for where I would push.


The hospital we went to was so quiet and lovely, the staff really dedicated and sweet, and very peaceful there, they only get on average one woman per day.  We were there twelve hours total, after the whole experience was settling down we caught a two hour nap, and then they fed us and we got dressed and left.  We need to go back tomorrow for a pediatrician's checkup (a general physican checked her before leaving) but still, pretty awesome to be in and hour in under twelve hours.  I never got to use their awesome tub, but I guess I thought there would have been plenty of time for that later when things really got 'active' (not realizing that 'active' would span merely an hour and by then moving into the tub was too difficult).  The head midwife on the floor was there and she confided in me immediately after that she understands what intensity I was going through, that with her second (of three) births, going from 4 to 10 took an hour so she knows how it feels....however in her case her baby had already died in utero, so she didn't even get anything happy as a result of such an intense experience.  I felt immediately humbled to have been feeling so sorry for myself for all the pain, and realized (as my baby girl was having a two hour nurse fest immediately after birth) that it was really, truly, totally worth it.  Not everyone gets a healthy, perfect baby, so I am feeling blessed beyond blessed.

Sorry to ramble!

post #74 of 155

Ok, I was happily plugging along in the third tri, but as of yesterday I am officially starting to get sick of this pregnancy crap. Last week before my appt baby started shifting around and they said she was LOP, so I've been doing my best to get her back to LOT-LOA since (and I think was successful), and then yesterday she started twisting all around again while I was driving home from work and I think has gone back LOP, and I have my next appt today, so they're gonna be all "do pelvic rocks and crawl around" again. It is pissing me off! I hate the feeling of her twisting around like that and nothing seems to get me more upset these days than feeling like she's in a weird position. I had a major melt-down as soon as I walked in the door of the house. Plus my poor belly is feeling SO STRETCHED and painful the last couple of days. It hurts to try and feel my belly for her position, plus I get BH whenever I start really rubbing and prodding, so then I can't tell anyway! And I started getting some stabby/painful bursts in my lower-right belly last night, plus cervical painful pinching.


Maybe they'll tell me at my appt that she's not in as bad a position as I think, but I dunno. We have a group prenatal tonight and then a session about what will actually happen the day of the birth, and planning, and such, so we're going to be at the birth center for 3 freaking hours and it will be after 9 before we get home. Uggghhh. I just want to go to sleep until she's ready to come.


Ok, rant over. Back to enjoying hearing about more babies in the group being born.

post #75 of 155

congrats Serafina!!!! what a cute little bebe with all that hair!! Is it true that all pregnancy discomfort is magically relieved after baby is out?? what was your original "due date" again? I feel like everyone is having babies early... but of course I'm not "due" til october 28th and this is the october due date club and october has literally just begun! 

post #76 of 155
Thread Starter 

oct 2 was my original EDD based on LMP, and she was born at 2am on Oct 3, so just a couple hours after her original EDD.  Interesting. :)

And at almost exactly the same size as my last baby who was born on his LMP EDD.


It is true that all the pregnancy discomfort magically evaporates, in my experience.  There are a few new post partum discomfort issues of course, I had 4 stitches for natural tear, so it can burn to pee, etc.... but in general besides a little bit of bloatedness in my recently (um, today) vacated torso, I feel like the old me, whereas yesterday I felt like 116 year old decrepit falling apart creature.  I'm able to shift position in bed with ease, get up and sit down and bend over and all that.  My hips locked back into a nice core from which to operate from.  Same day.  Hooray!!!!!!!  :joy That's the best part of a natural birth, the post partum recovery (vs. if you had been injured by knives/needles/narcotics/anesthesia) !

post #77 of 155

Oh my goodness Serafina she is so adorable!! So glad she is here and healthy. Though I must say I wish I hadn't read about the baby that died in utero! That is my huge fear right now. And its seeming so common.

post #78 of 155
Originally Posted by superbeans View Post

Oh my goodness Serafina she is so adorable!! So glad she is here and healthy. Though I must say I wish I hadn't read about the baby that died in utero! That is my huge fear right now. And its seeming so common.


My fear is a baby that won't breathe after being born. :(

post #79 of 155
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by superbeans View Post

Oh my goodness Serafina she is so adorable!! So glad she is here and healthy. Though I must say I wish I hadn't read about the baby that died in utero! That is my huge fear right now. And its seeming so common.


duh.gifI shouldn't have mentioned that, but I was trying to illustrate how open and warm and connected and dedicated the midwives were at this hospital (more like a birth center, really), that she would even open up to me about that, to extend empathy to me, about how she understood how those kinds of intense births can be, and in a foreign language (her english was awful) to boot.  I felt honored she shared something (obviously decades earlier but still) so personal.  They were all so warm and empathetic.  Too bad that didn't really register to me in the throes, but really the staff there, from the dr. who checked out baby girl before we left and also the one who examined me the day before, to all the midwives, were fantastic.  
They're shutting that hospital down in a couple of months because they are centralizing and they only get about 500 per year there, ten times fewer than the big university hospital closer to me.  :(  So sad, they are doing a beautiful job there and have so much support for the natural birthing process.

post #80 of 155
Thread Starter 

Guys neither of those scenarios are something that is any sort of significant statistical likelihood of happening in a first world country, and anyway stressing about them doesn't help.  But I get it.  I worry about something happening to one of my older children.  If I talk to my ten year old on his cell phone about waiting at a bus stop, after hanging up I see visions of him stepping into the road at the wrong moment and being killed in traffic, and I start texting him frantic, "promise to be super careful about the road!!!" messages.  It never goes away.  My grandmother could never sleep a wink whenever my mom traveled on an airplane, even after decades of my mom doing so, but to my granny it was just so scary and she could not get rid of scary images of something happening to one of her children...and grandchildren!  It just compounds the longer you live if you get blessed with not only children but grandchildren!   It makes you so vulnerable to love people that intensely.  Us women seem to get the brunt of the fear and morbid thoughts, somehow, maybe because they come forth from our wombs.  I don't hear as much about men fearing the 'what ifs' and I'm frankly jealous.  It's not like stressing about stuff like that is protection against it happening, but somehow psychologically it feels as if worrying might just help, at least to not temp Nemesis, so we do it.....

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