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SAHP v. WOHP- is it a choice? - Page 2

post #21 of 25

1, 3 and 5. :wink I guess I made a choice to be a SAHM with DD1. I planned on working part time but she was such an intense child/baby as in never stopped screaming that DH who was supposed to care for her on weekends while I worked, said that he absolutely could not safely care for her. She was so difficult that he was afraid of what would happen with him alone for 14+ hours straight.

 

As the years went by and the children came. It moved to where I didn't have any choice. DD2 had health issues and me being an RN was basically what allowed us to manage her at home often. As she got older and was no longer so dependent on medication and equipment, I did start with #5. That lasted a few years but DS1 has ASD among other conditions and it wasn't feasible for me to work anymore. Over the years, DH's work load has increased so much that he is always on call 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. he has to be able to go at a moment's notice at any given time. Childcare has been absolute nightmare because of this. I can schedule a meeting with DS1's social worker for 6pm only to return home to find DH gone into work yet again and the neighbor 13 year old girl watching my kids until I get home. This happens way too often. He leaves in the middle of the night, weekends, etc... We can't ever count on him ever actually coming home or picking up kids from school, daycare, anything. If I were to work these days it would require a full time, live in nanny. So instead I am a SAHM again. 

post #22 of 25
I fall into two and four. As a single mom I have to work, I have a degree in teaching but haven't been able to find a teaching job in an elementary school and have had to work in childcare instead. I was lucky enough to get a nine month contract last year and make a lot of sacrifices to be able to make this work so I can be with DD as much as possible. I feel like this has become a bigger priority as she has aged and needs me in different and more intense ways than before.
post #23 of 25

We are a 1 with a small side of 2.  Right now, things would be super tight; there'd be nothing extra at the end of each payday without me working, and even then, after childcare, we still only get about $700/mo. from my check that actually belongs to us.  However, we'll probably fall firmly into category 1 after this upcoming March.  I'll still work though.  I love my job and my field is insanely competitive, so it is where I'll be for a while.  If I have the opportunity to take my current position to part time after March, I will, but I don't think I'll ever quit working.  I love it.


Edited by liberal_chick - 10/7/13 at 12:35am
post #24 of 25
Quote:

(1.) Totally my choice, finances not an issue, followed my heart on whether or not to work or for how long.

(2.) No choice, circumstances/finances dictated I must work.

(5.) Found another flexible solution- WAH, work part-time, work off hours.

 

Gee, I think I'm a combo of 1, 2, and 5.

 

I would definitely say I work because I love my job, not because we need the money.

 

That said, I definitely would have chosen longer maternity leaves (a year instead of 8 weeks) if it were feasible.  #2 applies in that given I choose to be in the field I am in, then I really cannot take extended periods of time off of work entirely.  The tradeoff is that where I'm at now (academic research), a ton of that can be done at home, at night, or both.  There are relatively few hours of 'face time' required per week.

 

I did work part-time when DD1 was under a year (was still in training then), and now I have extremely flexible hours that enabled me to WAH almost entirely (going in maybe 3-10 hours per week as needed) for DD2's first year.  I actually chose my area of interest partly for its flexibility, and specifically designed my research project to be 'family-friendly.'

post #25 of 25

I was a WOHM for ten years, and have now been a SAHM for just over ten years.  For the ten years I was a WOHM, it was a case of number two. I was the main breadwinner, and without my paycheque, we'd have been unable to keep food on the table or a roof over our heads. (When I eventually broke up with my ex, he took both his paycheque and his own expenses with him - and I was better off financially within a month, despite never receiving any child support.)

 

I chose to be a SAHM after my second child was born. For the first few years, it took considerable financial sacrifice for us to make that work. However, dh's job has gone very well over the last 5-6 years, and it's not difficult for me to stay home these days. Honestly, with three school age (dd2 is technically preschool age) to arrange care for, and my own long absence from the workforce (pretty much my entire skill set is obsolete at this point...and I have too many brain fog issues to function at the level where I used to function), it would probably cost us money for me to go back to work. I'm very grateful that I don't have to.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSLaura View Post



(1.) Totally my choice, finances not an issue, followed my heart on whether or not to work or for how long.

(2.) No choice, circumstances/finances dictated I must work.

(3.) No choice, circumstances/finances dictated I must stay home.

(4.) Made a difficult choice/lifestyle sacrafices to be where I'm at.

(5.) Found another flexible solution- WAH, work part-time, work off hours.

 

 

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