mommariffic, that sounds fabulous!
- topicUnschoolingtagged by SweetSilver, 9/29/13
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October Unschooling Thread - Page 2post #21 of 3010/9/13 at 8:40pmThread Starterpost #22 of 3010/10/13 at 8:33pmQuote:Originally Posted by zebra15
Mrianda- I live in the desert. Summers are over 115 and humid. Right now it is 97 so the a/c is back on. Ugh, but is decent outside. People are actually on the golf course again. The humidity is gone, the monsoons are gone. Its quite lovely here. I wore long jeans over the weekend and didn't sweat to death.
Seems like we must be living pretty darn close to each other! Seems like when you posted this (a little over a week ago, right?) it was about the same temps here (we're in AZ). Today was the first "cold" day. The kids actually both made a line graph of the temps every hour all day, and the highest in the shade was 72 - one did the temps out back (which were in the sun for a big part of the day, and it went up to 90 degrees there), while the other one read the thermometer I had put by the front door, which was in the shade all day long, and it barely hit 70 there. And we have all been complaining big time all day!! LOL Tomorrow is supposed to be a bit better at least again, hopefully back up to 80! So glad to be out of the cold!!!post #23 of 3010/15/13 at 6:17amQuote:Having said that, dd10 is looking like she's about to head into her growth spurt in the next year or two, so having not found anything by now I think we'll probably just go to with small adult bag.
I suppose at any age, a child is due for a growth spurt in the next year or two ... my dd is also 10 and this is the first upcoming growth spurt that she seems conscious of anticipating and slightly dreading. she wants to stay a child. so now instead of focussing on my own attachment to her childhood, I am trying to think of ways to help her adjust to the transition. not sure how to do it without seeming insensitive or "rushing" her ... for example it has been really really hard to give up her clothes that are becoming too tight. she has never ever been interested in acquiring new clothes, but whatever she has she likes, and does not want to give up. I tried hard to acquire the exact same pant in a higher size but I just can't find them anywhere (I did find one on ebay in Canada but shipping to the US costs $20, twice as much as the pant). In any case this time it is not only about the appearance of the pant I think she is reluctant to grow up. In the past pants have always been loose at the waist and needing a belt, now her waist and thighs are growing and even pants in her own size fit snugly. Brings us to the question that came up in the other thread of encouraging more physical activity, being more conscious about it rather than assuming it happens automatically, as it probably did in younger years before so many at-home attractions commanded out attention.
She also told me that she feels disloyal to her dolls because she doesn't play with them as much. I am torn about whether to encourage her to acknowledge this as a normal transition or encourage her to play with them - as she seems to want to. I mainly just listen and try to be available to go either way but I wish I had something to tell her that would make her feel better about growing up.post #24 of 3010/15/13 at 6:18ampost #25 of 3010/15/13 at 9:56amThread StarterQuote:Originally Posted by rumi
She also told me that she feels disloyal to her dolls because she doesn't play with them as much. I am torn about whether to encourage her to acknowledge this as a normal transition or encourage her to play with them - as she seems to want to. I mainly just listen and try to be available to go either way but I wish I had something to tell her that would make her feel better about growing up.
Enlightening post. My oldest is pushing 9yo, and I'm starting to think of transitions more. She is the oldest, though, and her friends are younger as well. Don't know how that will all play out.
But I quoted because I wanted to say that I viewed my things similarly when I was a girl. I wanted to grow up, but I didn't want to be a *grown up*. I think in some ways, she is looking for "permission" to play with her dolls, and at the same time, approval for moving on to other things. I know, that's a contrary statement, but it can be a contrary age, can't it? I quietly played with my dolls and animals until I was 13 or 14 until my free time was suddenly filled with listening and dancing to music and reading pop music magazines (Duran Duran! Depeche Mode!). And I always, always felt loyalty to my stuffed animals, tucking them in snuggly well beyond 16.
Hopefully your wise guidance can ease your daughter through this. My mother was not my confidant, and I wish it were otherwise. I enjoy reading these kinds of posts from moms whose daughters are just beyond where we are at.post #26 of 3010/22/13 at 1:27am
I wrote a reply here earlier and lost it. So let me try again. While I too was oping for the wisdom to help dd through this transition, what i discovered was that a simple thing like playing a word-game that we have played almost since she was 4 or 5 turned out to be very helpful. It's just a game where each person says a word beginning with the last letter of the word the other person said. So you can play anywhere anytime, e.g. while going to sleep. It was comforting to revisit that old game, and she made up some new parameters to make the game more challenging. So the game too is growing up.
Feeling relieved that maybe it's okay even if I am not so wise.
We have come to SIL's house in England. Rain as usual but not as cold as I had feared. I brought my hs letter as Fillyjonk advised, let's see if it comes in handy. One thing we are excited about is going to meet one of dd's favourite authors - Kjartan Poskitt of the Murderous Maths series. He has a public talk in Sheffield and I am hoping to attend.
Since my nephew has homework every day dd has been asking me to prepare worksheets for her to do at the same time. Also there is a piano in the house and she is dabbling with it. Anyone know any online materials that help with beginning piano? I am telling her whatever I remember from learning flute decades ago.post #27 of 3010/22/13 at 8:26am
That's a relief! There's hope for all of us then, lol!
I've been thinking about this, and I think it's a real challenge for parents with their first-borns, because those kids don't have live-in models of "how kids live when they're no longer into play but not able to be part of the adult world yet." It's a cultural no-man's land. In the old days they'd be given real, job-like responsibility that obviously matters to others' well-being: tending the goats all day on a hillside, fetching water from the well at the crossroads, caring for the new baby while mom collects food, working as a farm boy for a neighbouring peasant, beginning an apprenticeship as a tinsmith, that sort of stuff. Nowadays, for better (and for worse, in some respects) kids who are 9 or 12 or 15 don't work, and don't take on roles that aid in the survival of the family. So when they no longer feel the pull of play, they don't have much to fill their world with instead.
Unless they're plugged into tween and teen culture, typically a fairly artificial construction centred around schools and consumer-drive popular media. Or unless they're one of the very few pulled by a passion for excellence in some goal-directed area. Or unless they're lucky enough to have models of tweens and teens with real, meaningful roles in family and community. If your 10-year-old doesn't have those tween roles to slip into, if she's unschooled in western society and doesn't have interesting older siblings engaged meaningfully with community, there's bound to be a bit of aimlessness and just muddling through, making it up as you go along.
Lately my own 10-year-old, who has three older siblings who are great models of how to be teenagers, has nonetheless been suffering a bit of aimlessness and failure of imagination when it comes to filling her days. She has a lot that is good going on that ought to mitigate against that aimlessness: the responsibility of being home alone once or more a week, and of cooking dinner on her own for herself and her dad, a weekly babysitting job, a monthly housecleaning job, both of which she's paid for, the opportunity to challenge herself physically outdoors in fairly raw wilderness, a passion for math and a nice three-hours-a-week academic environment in which she is pushing herself and gaining a strong sense of success, a leadership role at homeschool art class and at violin group class... but, still she's feeling defeated by how young and small she is still, how far away adulthood seems. Unlike her eldest sibling at this age she's not intimidated by the prospect of becoming a teen and then an adult, but it seems like such a lengthy and frustrating process.
So, we're muddling along too, feeling a distinct lack of wisdom.
Mirandapost #28 of 3010/23/13 at 8:43ampost #29 of 3010/23/13 at 9:11amThread Starter
Unschooling is such a small forum, you might catch someone's eye just about anywhere. But your best bet is to "start a new thread", which is the icon at the top left of the forum page and also on the top left of this thread. Then you can title it and ask your questions. Before clicking on "submit", you will be prompted to tag the thread.
The advantage to doing this is that your question will show up in the "New Threads" feed which is viewed by many who don't normally post in Unschooling.post #30 of 3010/27/13 at 8:22pmHey there, everyone! I've been absent awhile. Glad to see you're all having adventures and learning so much along the way.
For us, we're easing out of a pretty big transition period. I started working a 30 hour/week job at the local food co-op grocery store. It has been amazing for me- all the adult time and the feeling of autonomy I get from not chasing little ones during that time. The kids are handling it pretty well, getting so much time with dad and getting used to going to bed without me a couple nights a week. It has made a pretty big hurdle for me, though, in terms of energy and preparation.
I'm finding myself in need of some inspiration to help facilitate some activities for us. DS (5) has learned to read incredibly well over the past few months. He can read nearly any word he sees, but I don't get a lot of time to gauge his level of understanding what he's reading. He's become very conversational and inquisitive in general, and I feel he's really ripe for some interesting experiences and learning opportunities.
DD (2) is in a bit if a growth spurt phase, which means she is often wanting to be held, nursed, and cuddled. The only way I can consistently get her off my body is to put on the PBS show Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. It's a pretty good show, but too much of a distraction for DS to focus with me on other activities. That, along with DS's high need for high energy output means that we're nearly always on the go and looking for ways to satisfy everyone. Getting out of the house before 11 is a big challenge, and DD is ready to nap by 2. So our window is pretty slim for outings on many days.
All in all, I'm planning to just use the mild autumn of central Texas as our big chance to take advantage of our zoo membership and do lots of outdoor activities. I'm just hoping that we'll be learning and absorbing lots of good stuff without much focus on actual book knowledge stuff. Ideally, I would have field guides and such to accompany us, but I am already bogged down with all the food/toy/toddler-wearing that there's just not much room or time for really devoting our focus in that way. They are hands on, running, and digging in it all. And I am just trusting that it's enough for them at this stage. As DD ages, and gets out if this needy phase, the options might broaden a bit. I just have to remember that it all changes and evolves so quickly at their ages. Doing a lot of breathing and trying not to control or micromanage (or plop down on my bottom in defeat).
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