I really do want to have sex, and I really tried the other night, but it just wasn't working and I wasn't willing to force it. DH was totally OK with stopping and he's been great about not pressing for it at all. I think it might be after Christmas when we try again. God, it's been SO LONG since we last did the deed, and even longer since it was truly pleasurable. Pregnant sex, the few times we did it, wasn't really the best for either of us.
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Post-partum check in here! - Page 15post #282 of 32812/20/13 at 7:17pm
I'm with you, Slammerkin. It's been so long since we've had sex in general, and pregnant sex was just blah. My stomach freaked my husband out so we always had to do it in positions where he couldn't see it. Otherwise he said he felt like he was going to jab the baby.. lol. But it really wasn't great for us either. I felt like I was forcing him! So yeah. I want to do the deed, but I'm scared it's going to hurt, and I want to enjoy myself. Sorry it didn't work for you when you tried :(post #283 of 32812/20/13 at 8:25pmPost partum sex talk is almost as amusing as pregnant sex talk. Lol. The last month of pregnancy, I was pretty uninterested and ironically enough we had really good and beneficial sex the night before I went into labor. Since I had the baby I am so uninterested. Baby is almost 14 weeks, I think, and we have done it three times. It doesn't hurt, I just don't want to. I think the first time was maybe 8-9 weeks PP. I don't feel unattractive, but I don't feel like a sexual being right now. Too maternal to care! Lolpost #284 of 32812/20/13 at 11:15pmI agree Abk ~ no issues here with post partum sex either but just really uninterested right now and dh understands which is great. Dd is 12weeks tomorrow and I'd say we've had sex a handful of times to be honest even though I've started contraception I still worry about getting pregnant again.....
Yogini - you had a traumatic birth physically and emotionally until atleast the physical begins to heal I would just trust yourself in knowing when it's the right time to engage intimately again. We are maternal creatures who are tending to the needs of our offspring sex is way down our list of prioritiespost #285 of 32812/20/13 at 11:52pm
Oh, man, postpartum sex. Yeah, I haven't gone there yet, not because I'm worried about pain, but because I just haven't been in the mood lately. I'm sure it will strike soon. My husband is frustrated because we use a cosleeper for Norah that sits between us at night - he loves being next to her and the 8 hours of sleep a night that it gets him (she sleeps so well in it), but he says he misses cuddling at night. :( At this point, I need to work out a time where she can sleep in the pack & play for the first part of the night just so we can snuggle again. I think that'll help me get in the mood.
I'm not anticipating it hurting at this stage, but I do know things are drier than the Sahara down there. :/ Even my midwife warned me at my final appointment, "Use TONS of lube!" Lol.post #286 of 32812/21/13 at 6:27amI guess we're in the minority. We're having sex twice a week since week 4. DP appologized for how dull and predictable our sexlife has been as he thought I might be disappointed. I said buddy be happy we're having sex and I'm asking for it! I'm on the pill, breastfeeding, pulling out but he's terrified ill get pregnant...which means its happening less often, honestly I'm happy twice a week.
Athletics can happen later. I'm into it but I'm not sure I could handle something funky like the lights on with how jabbathehut my stomach looks! We're not really cosleeping this time, she sleeps 7-8 hours in crib/bassinet in our room. So we can cuddle.post #287 of 32812/21/13 at 6:49amI'm 7 weeks PP and we've had sex 3 times. The first time, I was 5 weeks. I know DH would like it to be happening more, but I'm not in the mood. He's really good about it. Frankly, he should be happy we are having sex again already since I was 4 MONTHS PP the first time after my last baby. This time it was just slightly uncomfortable at first, but I didn't tear and was barely sore after this birth. After my first baby, it hurt more, but luckily not enough to make me stop. You definitely need to wait until you're ready. That's going to be different for every woman (and every birth) and having a traumatic birth will definitely have an effect on when you're ready.post #288 of 32812/21/13 at 7:56ampost #289 of 32812/21/13 at 2:21pmSex? What's that?
I just got a text from dh. It says "I need some sex tonight baby. Please?" LoL
We've done it twice since she's been born. It wasn't painful (had a section) but my problem is I'm so freaking tired from caring for a colicky baby all day, & she literally will not sleep unless she's being held, or can feel my body right next to her. How am I supposed to have sex?!post #290 of 32812/21/13 at 2:39pmI feel like a bit of a freak on the sex front. I basically jumped DH at about 2 weeks postpartum. We're not having as much sex as "normal" but I guess this is our new normal for a while. i feel like i could go pretty much everyday but DH falls asleep in our older son's bed half the time. He is having a much harder time adjusting to newborn sleep deprivation than I am. My biggest complaint is that we're using condoms right now until DH gets his vasectomy and I hate condoms.
Nursemom that text made me laugh. I'm totally the one asking my husband for sex right now. I should text him
Someday, when our boys are older we'll have a normal sex life again and it will be awesome. I think it will even start being awesome once the vasectomy is done and we can never worry about contraception again.post #291 of 32812/21/13 at 4:22pmpost #292 of 32812/26/13 at 7:57am
I think I am getting my period at 8 weeks postpartum.. what the hell. I've been spotting for a week (will be 8 weeks on saturday) and now it's all bright red/mucus-y gross looking period-ish bloody. wonderful. I do feel more emotional/bloated/pms'y/bitchy/hormonal than usual and my skin broke out last week- so maybe it is the return of my period/fertility- at only 2 months postpartum, while exclusively breastfeeding. The longest I've gone without feeding her is 4 hours, so I don't know how this is possible!!! but i'm pissed. I was really looking forward to at least a year of no period.post #293 of 32812/26/13 at 8:31ampost #294 of 32812/26/13 at 10:13ampost #295 of 32812/26/13 at 6:51pmpost #296 of 32812/26/13 at 9:55pmpost #297 of 32812/28/13 at 5:37pmpost #298 of 32812/28/13 at 6:00pmpost #299 of 32812/29/13 at 9:00am
What is the facebook group? I tried searching for it and couldn't find it...
agh. we attempted sex. horrible. i was mostly just curious to see what it felt like and if my PC muscles even worked, and it's barely a flicker... even with doing 100-200 pc exercises a day... nothing. I am now 100% convinced that the idiot OB did not catch all the muscle fibers (or any??) while stitching me up, and there is still about 1cm of my perineum (there is a "pocket", as my midwife says) that needs to be stitched up. You know how the skin between your index finger and thumb is thick and curved when you spread out your hand? That's what a normal perineum is supposed to look and feel like.... mine is now a very deep acute angle like a "V" and gapes open, you can see the rugae inside my vagina and my bladder sinking down through the top wall of my vagina. it's not a pretty picture, and it's NOT functional. It feels like a tampon is falling out when I walk around because of the bladder prolapse and it's just really unnerving to know that my vaginal opening was ENLARGED by 1cm downwards, which really adds on 2cm, almost an inch to the circumfrence. sooooo... I am going to a different GYN and getting a second opinion ... which is what my midwife suggested, and she's going to go with me for advocacy because all I seem to do whenever I get on the phone with the receptionist or the OB's assistant is yell at them about how Dr. Moore f*'d up my vagina and she shouldn't be in practice.... etc.
I'm also really upset about my postpartum body... I know I'm probably in better shape than most women at this point postpartum, and I get compliments all the time from other mothers who also have little babies wondering how my stomach is so flat at this point- but I am SO FLABBY and have NO muscle tone, and it's covered by a layer of fat/flab all over- upper arms, lower belly and thighs especially and it's driving me crazy. I can't wear hardly anything that I used to because of this "spare tire" around my waist, and my waist has increased by 2'' and still isn't going down. I've been walking, cut out sugar, and have been doing light weights when I can (just in this last week started this).. but I feel like I need to be lifting heavy to put on muscle, hiking every day (my preferred method of cardio and sweating) and spending at least 2 hours a day being very active in order to get this to go away... i guess i'm just really impatient but I thought at 2 months postpartum I'd be better. I also have put BACK ON 5 pounds that i originally lost in the first 2 weeks postpartum... I'm guessing because I admittedly did a lot of comfort food eating, and my husband was constantly feeding me while I was recuperating in bed -- 6 weeks with NO exercise except short easy walks and laying around nursing a baby and thinking that I can eat as much as I want while doing so... I guess that will add on 5 pounds quickly. oh that, and I'm really really really pale... being inside for the last 2 months and then being covered up outside will do that I guess. AGGHGHGH. My baby is great though. healthy and easy now that the initial 6 weeks is over.
oh and I'm also pissed that if/when I do get my vagina stitched back up, I'm going to be out of commission again/lying around for who knows how long... if they cut the muscle midwife said it would be just like postpartum recovery so at least 6 weeks, and if they just cut and restitch the perineum/tissue/inside of vagina it would be 2-3 til I can exercise again. AHGHGH. SO FRUSTRATING.post #300 of 32812/29/13 at 9:44am
Yogini, message me on here with your name, and I'll find you on Facebook and friend/add you to the group :) It's private now, so only the group members can search/see posts from the group. I'm really sorry you've had to go through such a rough time recovering from birth. I can't imagine how hard it's been on you, and I hope that the next gyn you see will be more helpful! As far as weight/exercise/muscle tone go, I know it's frustrating, but give it time. I'm sure you're sick of hearing that, but really, you're dealing with a difficult recovery, and being too hard on yourself regarding body image isn't going to help anything. You will get back to your "happy" body eventually :)
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