DS will be 3 yo in 3 months and we are struggling to get him to STTN in his own bed. We have always coslept with him and when DD was born 6 months ago my husband slept with him on a makeshift bed next to DS and I slept with baby in the bed.
But, at this point with 2 little ones, DH and I are finding we have NO time to ourselves (no time during day for intimacy or for deeper conversation even). I miss sleeping with DH. It is frustrating b/c DS is very capable of STTN- he will do it at his Grandma's, or when we are right next to him. But he reaches out to touch us in the middle of the night, and when we aren't with him, he wakes up every few hours crying for one of us. If we don't wake up right away, he will climb in our bed, where I cosleep with the infant, and I end up waking up with toes up my nose or an elbow in my face, etc. and I doubt DS is comfortable with all of the tossing and turning he does. It also makes me nervous with baby there. So there is just no way we can all comfortably fit in our "family bed".
That said, I recognize that this is a hard transition for him as he has slept with one of us his whole life.
Last night I laid with him after he woke up at 1 am for over 40 min. and as soon as I tiptoed out of the room, he woke up crying. DH went in and laid with him 2 different times as well during the night until he was asleep, and then came back in bed.
Do we just continue doing what we're doing (waking up with him multiple times a night to parent him back to bed until he adjusts to being on his own?) Or could we be trying something else?