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Sprinting joyfully into October - the Dingo thread - Page 4

post #61 of 296
jo~safe and semi-hygienic travels to you and yours. I honestly don't know if I could do it! hug.gif

mel~I'm starting to get the teeny tiniest bit excited about the race, but mostly excited about getting to hang out in NYC with YOU! joy.gif

lisa~Hope the numbness has worn off. Dental work is the pits. Yes, J is the original guy. C is the guy that I met a month or so ago who I thought was into me but never did anything about it. Yep, definitely into me. orngbiggrin.gif He even asked me tonight how it's possible that a "great girl" like me is still single. I was like...I don't know! This is what I've been wondering for the last four years, lol!

dr~I had a great brunch date with C yesterday. And then I had breakfast with J this morning. bag.gif I'm pretty sure now that I need to break up with J, for reals. I just feel so bad, because I really do like him a lot, I just don't like him as much as he likes me, and it's kind of freaking me out that he likes me as much as he does. He keeps making comments (joking, but serious, ya know?) about me moving north to near where he lives. He was asking me a bunch of hypothetical questions at breakfast about "if you were to get remarried"...it's just too much, too fast. And then there's C, who I like a lot and want to get to know better. So, I need to do it. I just need to find the guts somewhere....arrrrrghhhhhhhh.
post #62 of 296

I'm having a moment of dingo :heartbeat reading all of the posts about behaviours, development, quirks, etc. I've been grappling with a response to an older Mayim BIalik article posted on our school facebook group and all of the parents cheering for letting kids develop and learn in their own individual ways. Yes sometimes kids don't roll over until they're one, or talk until they're two. I was once the public health nurse frantically advocating for a baby who wasn't rolling over (and was lagging on several other less obvious developmental milestones) while the family doctor took the relaxed approach. When the baby was finally seen by the pediatrician, it was admitted to hospital same day for blood transfusions for severe anemia and B12 deficiency. I still worry about the long-term impacts of the eight weeks it took me to get someone to take the problem seriously. I have so many other experiences of kids who were developing at a different pace for a very real and fixable reason (not the least of which is my eldest who learned to read remarkably quickly after getting glasses). As we talked about development and milestones at dinner tonight, my lovely oldest asked, "Was I delayed in learning about and understanding Venn diagrams? Because I didn't really learn them until kindergarten." I told her I was pretty sure she would be okay :lol

 

Plady and kerc: yes, yes, yes on the full attention for 30 minutes strategy. I often need to remind myself, but it works so well for my kids. If I give them full attention, they usually get bored of me and leave me alone after a while... Plady, I'm impressed with your insight on how you end relationships and how this impacts your kids. I hope it's a case of knowing being half the battle.

 

RR- I did a 2 hour hike yesterday with a friend and our combined 3 kids aged 3-10. The kids started off on a trail that I had forgotten how steep uphill it was- it's designed to be an extra difficult downhill mountain bike trail, so lots of little bridges and planks and otherwise dangerous and difficult obstacles. We looped back on another trail, but I was overall impressed with how the kids managed and mostly all under their own steam. My oldest is so, so nervous and needed help to manage her anxiety/fear of heights at times, but did it with support. The youngest lead the pack and mostly just needed reminders that she couldn't go out of eyesight because of cougars.

 

Speaking of the oldest, she's hit a really sedentary place. I think I mentioned it recently, but we've come to a bit of a head over exercise, particularly related to homeschool commitment to daily physical activity. She has chosen yoga, and is quite happily doing 20-60 minutes of yoga videos daily on weekends and homeschool days, but it's so challenging to convince her to do anything more active (yesterday's hike aside, but there was a lot of complaining that we were going hiking despite having two close friends coming along). I'm trying to increase her iron intake to see if that impacts energy levels, and have otherwise laid down the law: she commit to being more active without grumbling, or she needs to see the TCM about her energy level. Today we had good luck with a couple of short bike rides and I'm hoping to convince her to start climbing again.

 

The other big thing going on here also relates to the TCM and a conversation he had with my husband about how unusual it was that I fainted twice with acupuncture when I was sick this summer. He said once is not unusual in someone who is quite sick, but that fainting twice is probably a sign of something "in my childhood" that has impacted my coping. My friend who is an acupuncturist said something similar- that if there are emotional connections being made during an acupuncture session that the person isn't prepared to deal with, fainting is the mind's way of shutting things down (I've done this once before, several years ago). The TCM has offered to see give me free acupuncture to deal with possible childhood/trauma/issues. I'm hesitant to do it right now, for a couple of reasons. Things in my life are very busy and also a bit precarious- I don't have a regular job or long-term medical benefits, and if things go "badly", I can't afford time off work, counselling, etc. etc. Also, I think I'm a pretty high-functioning person, a bit of social anxiety aside. In my day to day life I don't feel particularly troubled and wonder if repressed trauma might be better left repressed. My mother in law and the one friend I've talked to think I'm being very clear headed and responsible about all of this; my husband thinks I'm being afraid and self-limiting.

post #63 of 296
Real - one interesting thing about the past several weeks is how DS is responding to my emphasis on feelings over intellect - he is definitely picking up the clues that understanding ones feelings and expressing them in "peace keeping or problem solving" ways is an attribute, and now he wants kudos for having that skill. I also make a point of admiring particular friends of his, to him, who happen to be fun crazy boys but also very sweet, polite, and sensitive to others. The other day I said, "you know what I like about Sam..." and he says "yeah me too, he's like O" (another friend of DS' that I love!) Small steps

Melw - sounds scary to me. Could it be that you are being both (clear eyed and self-limiting)?
post #64 of 296

MelW- Hmm.  Seems a little odd that the TCM would have that conversation about you not with you (unless I'm reading that wrong).  And I agree, you could be clear eyed and self-limiting, in a good way.  I think I'd want to feel a little more space and cushion around me before recreationally delving into what might be repressed. :Hug

 

I'm nodding and ahhing along but need to head to bed.  Some day I'll have more time for posting too.

post #65 of 296
Thread Starter 

Kerc: So true! I need to remember to make time for each one individually, too. I hope you are feeling better today.

 

Nick: I hope that the district evaluation at least has some feedback and ideas on where to go from here. I am at least glad that you aren't feeling pushed in any certain direction by teachers, physicians, etc.

 

Sparkle: So interesting how you - or how we all - focus on certain aspects of our kids personalities, how we have experienced them, and give them lots of feedback based on that. But it does limit them, doesn't it? I definitely need to watch how I sometimes pigeonhole my own kids :(  I like that anecdote about the mom and those "squishy" feelings, because who knows - it sounds like she might have been addressing a real bigger-picture solution to that problem.

 

Mel, on your DD, it sounds like she likes the more gentle type of exercise, not the aerobic, super-sweaty kind. I can so relate to that, from my own personality as a young teen. But it's good that you are keeping those doors open for her, as it is much easier to stick with something through those teen years than have to find your way back to it at a later time after years of inactivity.

 

:hug about searching for repressed stuff. I know I would wait until I felt a strong need to go there.

 

Gaye, I am super jumpers.gif about NY, too, and all that goes along with it! I hope you find a way to let J down easy, because C sounds awesome :thumb

 

RR: Track yesterday was 4x1000 meter repeats, and it wasn't very pretty. I talked to my coach and he suggested just sticking to pacing workouts rather than speed for the remaining weeks until the marathon.

Back to work geek.gif

post #66 of 296
Good morning, dingo friends. And a most birthday.gif to bec, who is 40 today!!! flowersforyou.gif

I'm reading along and taking parenting notes that I hope I won't need to use later. DS has been driving me crazy lately, but really, I know it's because he was gone most of the summer and we're both busy and I've started dating and he just wants more mommy time. So I've been trying to not get distracted by my phone or my laptop and set aside time for him every night for reading together or playing a game or whatever. It's just hard for me because I feel like we're together ALL the time (which we kind of are, in a lot of ways), but we're not doing the kinds of things together that HE wants and needs. So even only children can need that attention, I guess. I did finally have an actual talk with him about me dating...I know he had overheard some stuff, but I hadn't really addressed it directly with him and he just does not ask questions. Who knows how much sunk in and how much he actually wanted/needed to know (trust me, I didn't get into very much detail, other than reassuring him that he was always my #1 priority), but at least I did it.

rr~8 tired miles this morning. I have had about 6 total hours of sleep since Saturday night, which is really not enough to be a very functional person, ya know? rolleyes.gif So I started off really, really tired. Then there is the foot issue. I saw the podiatrist yesterday morning (wherein he was pretty much like...yeah, these orthotics are WAY worn out, you need new ones...) and he recommended that I get some off-the-shelf superfeet inserts while my new orthotics are being made, so I put those in and headed out. About a half mile down the road, I could just feel my foot (the non-blistered one that got really upset at me for running 20 miles without orthotics) getting cranky, so I turned around and came back home and decided to try running with my orthotic in my left shoe to help that foot and the superfeet insert in my right shoe to prevent the blister from coming back. And it seemed to work. Hopefully there isn't too much height difference between the two that will throw me out of whack, because I think this might need to be my solution until the new orthotics are ready. Anyway...the rest of the run was pretty good and I even kind of hit a groove eventually. I have two more 8's and my 20 on the schedule this week. I will get 8 in tomorrow, although I'm thinking about going to track just because I actually can for once and then heading up to the foothills for a trail run for the rest of my miles. I'm on call tomorrow night, so I may or may not get my 8 in on Thursday. 20 on Friday, hopefully partially with real! (p.s. lisa...I'll text you smile.gif)

dr~Well, I did it. I ended things with J. I was going to leave it for today, but I just knew I wouldn't be able to sleep last night unless I took care of it, so I just ripped the band-aid off. He actually took it really well, and I don't think (but could, of course, be completely wrong) that he's too upset with me. He hasn't unfriended me on FB yet, at least. redface.gif And then I had a great text conversation with C late last night (when we both were apparently having problems sleeping). Turns out that he wanted to ask me out at the baseball game last month, but chickened out mostly because he was worried about how I felt about our age difference (he's 31, really not that big a deal, especially considering that I've been dating a 45 year old, right?). So, anyways, I'm excited to get to know him better and see where things go. innocent.gif It just stinks that he travels for work and is out of town all week, and of course I work all weekend, sigh...we'll squeeze something in there somewhere, though!
post #67 of 296

Gaye, I'm glad you are moving forward with C. I meant to post yesterday that you have never seemed excited about J, but the first time that you mentioned C you seemed much more interested and excited. Have fun!

 

I think I've decided on the no deep probing acupuncture for now. The conversation with my husband and the TCM was a follow-up to one that I had previously had with the TCM and also in the context of "whole-family" health, so not as totally inappropriate as my post might have made it sound. Given the limited capacity that he seems to have right now to pick up slack with childcare and anything around the house, I think we would be a family on a path to destruction if I even needed a bit of a break from my daily "work". 

 

Now I'm off for a quick run in between grading and assignment writing/study and school pick up. 

post #68 of 296
Just reading. Lots of wisdom here. I'm on my phone so it's easy to read but a pain to respond.

Weights yesterday. Long walk with the boys today. Ds2 and I are meeting with the elem school principal about ebrolling in school. It is oh so right, but I am taking it way harder than I imagined. I'm excited for him but so sad... Not sure why and feeling confused about it. Anyway tour and meeting are on for Fri.

Finally home and getting the first bit if structure in over 3 weeks.

Sparkle, my ds1's words to me are always,"Why do you always think the worst if me?!" 😔 We use fermented fish oil/butter gel capsules. Which ones do you use?

Sorry not more replies. Just feeling really sad these days. Hanging out on the cow pasture while the boys flew kites, I soaked up lots of glorious Vit D. Every moment feels like my last one with him. 😭
post #69 of 296
tjsmama--FYI, I can go at least 12 with you on Friday, since I wimped out on last weekend's long run. Also, depending on what else you have lined up and what time we meet, I could bring along my bike and bike along for the rest if you're not already sick of me after 12 miles.

lofty--I suspect the transition for a hs mom is hard. Hope it gets better as it approaches.

MelW--I think holding off is a wise move.

Teacher conference today and all was well. I am grateful. Both kids are doing well, actually, even if child #2 desperately wants to be in school (specifically, third grade). There's an art program for preschoolers nearby that we may explore in the spring and as "preschool" in the fall. I don't feel motivated to do regular preschool or at least the visiting schools and all, but a two-hour twice a week program about the arts might be a perfect fit to help her feel like she's in school. Tomorrow we're doing a class at the museum so that will be fun.
post #70 of 296

Lofty - :Hug I'm sorry it feels so momentous but I'm sure there will be many upsides as well.  Is it just D that wants to do public school?  If so it could be a really nice opportunity for you and G.

post #71 of 296

lofty~I'm sorry, somehow I missed the talk that one of your boys is starting public school.  I'm sorry that this is making you sad and coming at such a tumultuous time too.  Hugs to you!

 

Gaye~thanks for catching me up to speed on the dating scene!  Hope things with C are fun and love abounds!

 

RR: ran 8 after everyone got out of school yesterday.  Was supposed to do 8 Monday, 7 Wednesday and 20 Saturday.  We have to bump Saturday's run to Friday because RP works Saturday and I'm leaving for FL.  So, since I ran Monday's run yesterday I'm trying to talk myself into the 7 today.  Hmmmm...

 

NRR: busy getting things ready for the trip, and dh is launching a new thing at work so he has been going in early and staying late this week so we can still go on vacation.  Im trying to get the animals all settled in their care takers houses, clean/ laundry and packing for all of us this week (I really want to come home to a clean house!), and homeschool/drop off/pick ups in there as well.  I WILL enjoy this vacation!!!  :)

post #72 of 296
Lofty - hugs to you as your and your DS enter this new stage.

Gaye - love the DRs and I think you totally made the right choice.

Real - yay for good PT conferences

RR - ran 2/walked 2 on Monday and did an hour spin class yesterday. It hurt.

NRR - I am pissed. DD1 made a rainbow colored bracelet and wore it to school today. Her best friend told her "rainbows mean you're gay" and that her Mom won't let her wear rainbows!!!! Really? In 2013? I am so annoyed.
post #73 of 296

rainbows *mean* you're gay?!  WTH?!  uh no, neither does liking pink if you are a boy.  sheesh!!!

post #74 of 296
My favorite line when that happens: wearing a Vikings shirt doesn't make you a quarterback.

And to the parent who said no to rainbows. Boo on you!!
post #75 of 296
Sorry I forgot to respond about the dental work. Later that night (8-9pm) the numbness finally wore off from 11am appt, and I could move my mouth again. It was so strange because that had never happened before. Half my face is still swollen from Monday and tender. I can now eat on that side but can't open my mouth all the way yet. At least raspberry seeds won't get stuck anymore, lol!!

RR: ran 7 and it was good.
post #76 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by kerc View Post

My favorite line when that happens: wearing a Vikings shirt doesn't make you a quarterback.

Exactly!!! Gah.

 

Lofty, wishing you a positive transition that meets everyone's needs in your family. Be gentle with yourself :Hug

 

NRR- Yesterday was our 13th anniversary, but we cancelled brunch/coffee date plans in favour of actually doing work. We did have an afternoon conversation/meltdown about the whole acupuncture issue, in which he was upset that I don't feel I have more support (but failed to offer any), and I acknowledged that some of my fear was unrealistically based on a friend who did some very unsupported soul-searching/childhood stuff many years ago and ultimately ended up with a couple of psychiatric admissions and eventual suicide. We were in our early 20s, and I had the upsetting experience of losing a friend, and helping her partner to clean up their apartment and to move out afterward. While I really don't suspect my childhood was nearly as traumatic/repressed as hers was, there is an understandable fear when someone mentions history and trauma and potentially accessing those that I can get freaked out about a possible worst case scenario. I'm still on the path of not doing it, and feeling more clear about why the whole issue was so upsetting to me.

 

Kid-related- My seven (almost 8) year old spent much of yesterday evening stressed about the start of "grades" at school, and a district reading assessment that was scheduled for today. We went through several cycles of conversation about how grades don't matter, and her throwing back that they would matter for getting into university and another cycle of stress about whether she might "get an F". This morning we excused her from the reading assessment and clarified with the teacher that the grades are actually for the older students in the multi-grade class and that she is not to see any grades under any circumstance (my husband said something about any grades that must be assigned needed to be sent home in a sealed envelope). The vice-principal happened to be there for the conversation and was 100% supportive of the plan. I hope we can hold grade anxiety at bay for a good while longer- in my cautious oldest it could lead to not trying anything that she's not already proficient at, which has been her general strategy since early childhood- learn it in private and only reveal her learning once she's really competent. This is a kid who stopped walking for a month after her first successful attempts, thereby breaking my back by having my hold her hands while she walked for an extra 30 days. Now she's doing after school yoga practice :)

post #77 of 296
Thanks for wishing us well. I'm an emotional basket case these days. Between the constant travel, dh's stress, mil's condition, ds2 wanting to start school, I'm ---> dizzy.gif and not processing anything well. I did get in a great swim today. I'm planning to do yoga tomorrow and I may drive back for another swim session on Friday. It's where I get my sanity. I feel like a heel but I may not go down to mil's this weekend at all. I need to focus on my kids and I haven't been doing that. Get this. While explaining to her that I needed to go home (last Sunday) b/c the boys and I need to get back into school and really need the structure, somehow in her brain she thought I meant enroll them both in school and proceeded to spend about 45 minutes gravely and super seriously commending me for sending them to boarding school. Huh? She went on and on about how it would work, about fixing their food, about them coming home on weekends, etc. She spoke of it all as if it was her last, dying wish and such a relief to get it off her chest how good boarding school will be for them. headscratch.gif I think she meant regular school but it leaves me sad that she thinks so poorly of our choice to homeschool. She was totally against all that breastfeeding and co-sleeping I did, too, so it's not anything new. It just left me bewildered and sad. I feel like everywhere I turn I am a disappointment. mecry.gif On that note, at least my clothes are fitting very loosely and I actually think I've lost weight or toned up my torso some. And no matter what she thinks about homeschooling, my kids are fricking awesome. And yes, he will go to school and probably love it. I would never want him to look back and wonder, what if? And yes, it'll be a great opportunity for G who has zero interest. I know my issues aren't the biggest in the world, I'm just caught up in so many emotional whirlwinds right now, I'm having trouble processing them. The clarity will come. In time, it will make sense. I just can't figure it out right now and it's hard.
post #78 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by kerc View Post

My favorite line when that happens: wearing a Vikings shirt doesn't make you a quarterback.

And to the parent who said no to rainbows. Boo on you!!
yeahthat.gif

lofty~hug.gif, mama. I hope the transition goes smoothly for both of you.

melw~Happy anniversary! flowersforyou.gif


We had parent-teacher conferences here, too. No surprises here, and DS is doing great. Love that kid. love.gif Well, when he's not driving me absolutely flipping crazy like he did right before bedtime tonight. orngtongue.gif

rr~I had 8 miles on my schedule, but since I actually could, I decided to go to track this morning. And of course, the first time in months that I make it to track is two mile time trial day. Sure, no speedwork in forever, but let's bust out a time trial. lol.gif The good news is that it was a short workout...warm-up and then two miles all out. Which I pulled off in a very respectable 16:42. Not too shabby! The bad news is that I still had 5 miles that I should run! So I decided to head up to the foothills for a trail run and to take in the fall colors. As I was getting ready to pull out of the parking lot at track, I remembered that my friend who lives up near there had told me last year when I went up to this same open space park told me I should have called her, so I sent her a quick text to see if she happened to be around so I could stop by and say hi. Coincidentally, she was planning on taking her two younger DDs and her cousin (visiting from out of town) to the exact same park for a hike! So, I met up with her and got her caught up on my life (like there's anything going on there... orngtongue.gif) and hiked the first mile with them before splitting off at a trail junction to go longer and get some running in. The colors were beautiful, and there's just something about being out on the trail like that that is so soul-satisfying. So between that, and getting caught up with my friend, it was a very good morning indeed.

And now, I sit around and wait. I'm on call tonight, so I'm waiting to see if I get called in (my charge nurse says "not right now, but very possibly") and I'm waiting to see if C calls or texts... redface.gif
post #79 of 296
Lofty, many many hug to you. I do remember just how that school decision felt when I put one in school. You have so much going on...

I am short on personals as I am traveling and on my phone and I left my charger at the last stop. I have school work we are trying to get done and tired jetlagged kids.

Lisa, when are you traveling? I will be in Indy/Carmel some.. I could drive down for xoffee or something. I do have my three ypungers traveling with me. My phone is going beserk.
post #80 of 296

Wow you guys are so busy and prolific I'll never catch up!

 

Sorry to leave out personals but it will take me awhile to read everything. I go through phases of being on MDC 2-3 x day and not really much for a week or two if stuff is going on. And with 4 kids stuff is always going on at my house!

 

So far picking up the running back (for the 3rd time!) is going pretty well. I'm fairly optimistic. Run/walking 3-4 times a week for 30 min or so and on off days long walks of a good hour each. Tonight I went nearly 4 miles, yayyy.

 

Though I gained 4 lbs!!!! my first 2 weeks, I have in this 3rd week lost 1/2 to 1lb of that. Hope the weightloss trend continues and I don't gain back.

 

Do you ladies recommend strength training or yoga or (gah) swimming and such on the off days instead of walking? Cuz pretty much just running and walking is my bag. I'd love to get back into yoga, I used to do it 2-3x week for years but I've been off it so long and I can't afford a class on an ongoing basis. But I think I really need a class to give me the support and discipline.

 

What are your experiences of strength training as a running support, versus walking i.e.too much walking just tire the legs and work the same muscles? Mostly I'm lazy and don't really want to do strength training per se if I don't have to. But I don't want to get sidelined either.

 

Thoughts? Experience?

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