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October 2013 Chit Chat - Page 76

post #1501 of 2728
Joanie, fair enough!

Nicole, sister drama is nuts. My sister and SIL are going to be under the same roof for a few weeks, so I expect drama.
post #1502 of 2728
Lol, yeah Nicole, why don't I have your number? I can't snap, my boobs are out.
post #1503 of 2728

The bus needs new brake lines, which are $150 and we'll pay to have done on Monday.  It also needs a suspension tune-up, which costs a bit more and no one here in town does it.  We're just going to knock it off the price of the bus ($700).  Now we're just waiting back from our 2 interested families and seeing who is willing to pay the most.  It def looks like 1 of them will buy it, but who knows until it actually happens.

 

Joanie wasn't texting me either!

 

Jaimee - Yikes, that is scary.  Olivine hides in the house sometimes and it's seriously annoying!  Maybe you need some of those locks that install on the top of the door frame?  I had something like that for Cyan when he was little, it worked like a charm.

post #1504 of 2728
Yeah, better locks sound good. I lost Shay in Walmart recently. It was bad.

Yay for minimal repairs.
post #1505 of 2728
Taking notes. *buying a backpack leash for Sora*
post #1506 of 2728
One weekend a month, her husband works 9a-9p on Saturday and Sunday and she has to work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 7p-7a.
DH has always watched their kid during the day for them so my sister can sleep before work.
That was before Layla.
She mentioned something to me today about the next time that weekend is happening.
My response, "You really expect Jeremy to watch all 3 kids? I don't even ask you guys to do that."
Her response, "He'll adjust."
My response, "It isn't happening. I don't feel comfortable leaving him to watch a newborn, a baby, and a toddler. I wouldn't even feel comfortable doing that myself. I can't believe you're okay with it."

And now she isn't talking to me, LOL. Am I wrong here?
post #1507 of 2728
I'm just sick and stressed and the kids are reacting to it and screaming. All. The. Time. Which makes me worse. I react emotionally to stress, getting depressed, anxious, feeling really self-conscious, and really sensitive to minor wrongs and perceived slights. Once I work through the initial fallout, I'm a bit better and able to focus on the basics, but I have to cut out all extras, and this time around that feels really disappointing because I JUST started allowing myself to open up to the possibility of working, being more involved in the community, making this home ours, gardening and personal projects. And now, I'm back to focusing on survival, and I'm sad.

We're also in a bad place financially. No savings, debt etc. And this will only make it worse.
post #1508 of 2728
Yikes, Nicole. What does Jeremy think of it? Is he cool with it? I take it you'll be back to work at that point then, if he'll be with the kids alone? This whole time I thought your sister was a single mom living with you... and now I hear she has a husband... and I'm even more confused by this dynamic under your roof. LOL. As long as you get rent out of it, I suppose it makes sense. Otherwise it sounds crazy to have all three of them living with you!
post #1509 of 2728
He said absolutely not. Her husband wouldn't ever even watch Conner. He would freak out about having two... And now they're expecting my husband to watch three...

I don't even understand the dynamic. They were supposed to be gone 4 months ago. I just don't get how you could be okay living in someone's basement for literally no reason other than your pure laziness to move and be out on your own. I don't.
post #1510 of 2728
*hug* Kirsten, I'm really sorry you're feeling in such a down place right now. I totally get the feeling of survival mode in a depression and having to cut out as many stressors as you can to make it back to the other side. Something what helps me is to remember that it won't be like this forever and you can still keep those aspirations as future goals that you will reach later on. It helps to remember there is a time for that stuff and a time for healing that requires all of your focus, and right now it sounds like healing is in store for you. Money problems suck, too. I think of all things, financial struggles can lead to the most stress. It's horrible! I hope you can find some peace and that your kids can chill out a little bit to give you a break. There may be nothing worse while in a depressed/anxious state than hearing a screaming kid in your mental space. Major hugs.
post #1511 of 2728
Thread Starter 

I think the "my mom is crying" tactic may have gotten through his 3 year old head that escaping out of the house while I'm occupied is not okay.  I'm actually fine with him being outside alone, but I need to know he's out there and he needs to be close enough to hear me calling.  A neighbor was mowing their lawn and it's possible he didn't hear me.  Ugh. 

 

I'll get the contact list out today, then you'll all have each other's phone numbers!

 

Nicole, since I have three kids myself I guess I come at this from another perspective.  You all will adjust to taking care of 3 kids, it's true.  BUT you're still adjusting to two kids and adding a third one in there will be quite challenging.  I would maybe suggest coming up with some strategies for how to handle things- ways to contain kids when necessary, ways to entertain kids, what needs need to be met first and how to safely meet those needs while the others wait, etc. etc.  This takes practice and some forethought.  I would not just dump that on someone the day before.  I also would  not expect this to be happening for free.  If I understand correctly, she's not paying rent is she?  And she's not paying childcare?  And she doesn't reciprocate childcare for both your kids, so I would also feel the need to make things more equitable. 

 

Kirsten... I can't even imagine what you are going through.  It has been such a rough year for you guys!  I'm so sorry that you're back where you were before and aren't sure what is happening next.  Is your dh looking into jobs in other cities?  What will that mean commute wise?  I don't know what he does... can he possibly telecommute? 

post #1512 of 2728
He only gets two weekends off a month as it is... Well, actually, those four days are his only days off. Period. He isn't prepared nor willing to throw a baby into the mix with his two. I don't blame him. I wouldn't, either. It's totally different if it's your own kids.

I think it just grinds my gears the most because they don't watch all three but they expect him to.
post #1513 of 2728
Thread Starter 

Nicole, right.  She's not reciprocating.  If you were depending on her for childcare then I would say it is fair for her to depend on you guys.  If one is not depending on the other then some sort of payment needs to be made- either direct payment or some other form of helping out.  That doesn't seem to be happening either.  So this just becomes you guys giving and her taking.  That's not desirable or sustainable.  I would be resentful and upset, too. 

post #1514 of 2728
Nicole, your sister should divorce her husband and get with Amanda's AH. Oh wait, but then there would be nobody to take responsibility for anything. Nevermind.
post #1515 of 2728
Chatty ladies here again! That or I'm just really far behind. I'm sure I'm going to miss some people....

Nicole, glad your grandpa was okay! And agreed, Layla is the cutest thing ever. She *almost* makes my ovaries twinge. Lol! God love my Mirena.

Jaimee, I would have freaked out!! I lost my older daughter in Walmart a few weeks ago. The longest I'd ever lost her before and I almost lost it. She was near tears by the time I found her. She hasn't strayed too far since then when we're out and about.

Amanda, have fun! I hope it's warmer where you are than it is here. I'm freezing and considering turning on my heater tonight. DH won't like that. And my feelings remain the same for your AH. He sounds like such a douche.

Sorry if I've missed anyone! Too many posts to reply to!

Therapy went really well. I really, really liked her and am going back as soon as she can get me in. I'm on her cancellation list for the next two weeks, but we got something pretty regular scheduled after that. I must be a mess because I feel like we barely scraped the surface, lol. DH isn't so sure about it. He doesn't think going consistently is something that's really necessary. Like what can I possibly have to talk about. He sees it more as a venting session. I just told him it's not negotiable right now.
post #1516 of 2728
Kirsten, that photo you just snapped of your DD eating straight off a loaf of French bread is too freakin' cute. Sora just started eating apples whole and it cracks me up every time for some reason... Like it's more of an adult thing to do...
post #1517 of 2728
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdhappy85 View Post

Nicole, your sister should divorce her husband and get with Amanda's AH. Oh wait, but then there would be nobody to take responsibility for anything. Nevermind.

Beautiful.
post #1518 of 2728
Thread Starter 

Mal, glad therapy went well!

 

Just emailed out the contact list!  Yay!

post #1519 of 2728

Jaimee, I am going to wait with a blood test - bloodtests suck for me.  No one can ever find a vein and I usually end up with tons of blue marks from the zillion needle pricks.  I will wait to see if AF shows or in a week or two do another HPT.  With Eli I got a positive around 6 weeks mark...

 

I am so tired...  I should really go curl up in bed... 

post #1520 of 2728
Jaimee, thanks for puting that together.

Kirsten, you're the onl one besides me who mentioned texting, I've not texted internationally, is that a done thing or does it cost extra? OK, I looked it up,do you have an iPhone?
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