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October 2013 Chit Chat - Page 78

post #1541 of 2728
Thread Starter 

Yep, cold here, too.  41 and raining this morning.  I hope it's not too cold where Amanda is!

 

Kirsten, that is a powerful thought.  Do you feel inspired to try that idea?  What might that look like?

 

Yay for finishing the floor Sara!  One more project done!

 

Ash, did you figure out your pattern?  It's so, so frustrating when you start something and realize you're stuck on something so silly as not having all the pattern pieces.  Ugh!

 

Nicole, yay for night out!  What are you doing?

 

I feel tired and head achy this morning... Went to bed at 10pm, Avalon up and crying about a bad dream at 11pm, Austin up to pee at 12am, Austin up to pee again at 6am, Avery up at 6:30am.  Grey skies and gloomy.  Blech.  Must force self to run.

post #1542 of 2728
Freaking cold here too. 37 at the moment. Yuck. I'm still burrowed under my blankets smelling the bacon and eggs DH is making.

Kirsten, I love that. Love it. I just might have to steal it from you on Facebook.

DH came home last night and announced he was taking me out to dinner. Apparently, he had it all planned to surprise me earlier in the week, but he ended up working overtime all week so it didn't happen. The baby sitter fell through though, so it turned into a family date night. It was nice to spend time alone with my family though. We went to see my mom for a while afterwards. She's tired, nauseous, all that fun stuff. My sister wants to get lunch today, just the two of us. I guess my brother sent her a very nasty email about how she's been playing the martyr and taking a holier than thou attitude ever since our mom got sick. It was bad and she was very upset. I'm sure that's what she wants to talk about. This kind of drama is exactly why I've been keeping my distance.
post #1543 of 2728
Kirsten, change as opportunity is a bright side. I know you'll find more strength than you knew you had.

Ash, that is cold. Did you figure it out? Let me know if you need to brainstorm. With regard to sewing, I'm smarter than I look.

Jaimee. I'm sorry you're feeling rough. I hope the run works wonders for you. Why don't kids coordinate their wake ups?

The weather says it's 57 and raining on Amanda right now. I hate rain, so I hope it's wrong.

I went to bed earlyish last night. Finished the floor but forgot to turn on the space heater, so it's not as dry as I would like this morning.
post #1544 of 2728
Mal, cross post, I'm sorry about the family drama. That is way too common. I hope you're getting to experience good time with your family too. Yay for family date night.
post #1545 of 2728
Thread Starter 

Well, I'm back.  Glad I went, but things don't feel much improved.  Austin and Avery are hacking their lungs out.  I really thought this fall/winter might actually be different.  You know, like maybe, just maybe we wouldn't be sick every other week.  Doesn't look so good.

 

Time to make breakfast.  Dh is up and now he's going running, so I guess breakfast is up to me.  I just can't help be dwell on the fact that life MUST get easier when kids can start taking care of their basic needs on their own.  Take themselves to the bathroom and wipe themselves.  Make their food.  Dress themselves.  Gah...

post #1546 of 2728
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post

Time to make breakfast.  Dh is up and now he's going running, so I guess breakfast is up to me.  I just can't help be dwell on the fact that life MUST get easier when kids can start taking care of their basic needs on their own.  Take themselves to the bathroom and wipe themselves.  Make their food.  Dress themselves.  Gah...

Jaimee, I'm sorry your kids are sick. Again.

It gets better. I hope Avalon is dressing herself. She's also old enough to make her own light breakfast. And wipe. I assume you're talking about the boys. Austin is old enough to make his own breakfast, use the toilet independently and dress himself, too. It may take a couple of weeks, but you can totally get him doing all those things on his own. That just leaves Avery. You can do it! Shay can wipe himself, but still needs help pulling his pants up and down. I think he needs loose sweats to do it himself because he was entirely proficient at the hardware store recently! He still needs help with hand washing because I'm reluctant to put a stool in the bathroom. He spoon feeds himself whatever I put in front of him. I may see if I can get him to make oatmeal on his own. Lol.

Yes it gets easier, but until you expect them to take care of themselves, they probably won't.
post #1547 of 2728
I can't wait to have a more independent son, too.

I just went to a friend's house last night. My whole little posse was there. I drank a half a beer, woo! I got home and 12:30, so it wasn't bad.

Coffee. I'll be back in a bit.
post #1548 of 2728

Jaimee, I made this video for you.  LOL  Shay making oatmeal for the first time.  I had him make it in a glass because I knew he could carry that with minimal spilling. It didn't go perfectly, but I think we will keep at it.

 

Ash and any other clean freaks, look away!!!! Don't look at the mess that is my house right now!

 

post #1549 of 2728

Sara, you are an awesome mom. I love that you lead your kids to be self-sufficient so early and are willing to deal with any mess imaginable. Such a cool video! Yay, Shay!

post #1550 of 2728
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post


Kirsten, that is a powerful thought.  Do you feel inspired to try that idea?  What might that look like?

It looks like what I've done at least a dozen times this year already - bawling my eyes out on the floor. I've so got the being in pieces on the floor thing down. It's just a mind shift thing for me - feeling things so intensely does not mean I'm wrong or broken. It means I'm open and changing and vulnerable in a good way. It helps me feel a little better about "feeling my feelings" (though I realize a dozen times is probably excessive).

I'm making my costume for a roller derby league Halloween party. I'm going to be a unicorn, and my friend is going to be a rainbow. My costume is made from duct tape, tinfoil and fabric scraps. We have no money, so I'm making do.

There were some questions I wanted to reply to, but I can't find them now. Its been a busy week for me. I'll try find them tomorrow.

Happy Saturday all!
post #1551 of 2728
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdhappy85 View Post

Sara, you are an awesome mom. I love that you lead your kids to be self-sufficient so early and are willing to deal with any mess imaginable. Such a cool video! Yay, Shay!

This.

I failed at trying to do the "Yeah, that" character on my phone.
post #1552 of 2728
Joanie, the mess can't get much worse! Thanks.

Kirsten, feeling your feelings is the best way to move through them, I'm sure. Hugs and more hugs.
post #1553 of 2728

Jaimee I agree with Sara-  its definitely easier the more self-sufficient they get.  In the mornings I gently guide my older children into making sure they are ready, but they do everything themselves.  I still dress B and wipe her, but she feeds herself after I make her food and she will get her stuff together to get ready if I ask (get shoes and jacket, etc). 

 

Sara, Shay is awesome.  My pattern instructions do not cover piecing everything together- it starts saying to piece together the back, gives two directions, then skips to the pocket zippers.  I resorted to looking at the pictures.  Im going to try a bit more this morning, but I might need to ask you how you supposed I am to finish this shoulder pleat if I cant figure it out.  I will snap you a picture of my kitchen covered in pink pleather and breakfast so you don't feel so bad.

 

Mal and Kirsten, nothing to say, just wanted to let you both know I'm thinking about you!

post #1554 of 2728
Ash, nice kitchen. Good luck. And yeah, FaceTime me if you can't figure it out. I'm all about visual with sewing.
post #1555 of 2728
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the video Sara, that was awesome!   I do try and encourage self sufficiency, but often I don't have time to do the teaching.  I know, I know, it will pay off later, but some things will also come naturally as they get older.  Avalon, of course, dresses and wipes herself, but sometimes she decides to dress herself inappropriately for the weather so I have to take care of that.  Austin can mostly dress himself, but can't get his socks on or some of his shoes.  He also cannot wipe well enough in the bathroom so I have to deal with that.  Avery needs to be held on the toilet and wiped so I have to take care of that.  And he can't dress himself certainly and if left to his own devices would run around with just a shirt on.  Fine for summer, but not anymore.  Avalon can get her own cereal in a bowl, but can't reach the rice milk.  She could with a step stool of course, but by the time all this has happened, Avery has taken off with the majority of the glass containers in the fridge and I'm chasing after him to prevent major spills and glass breakage.  Similar things happen when I try to get Austin to make his own stuff... Avery will take everything out of the cabinets while Austin is in there rummaging around in his slow, 3 year old fashion.  So by the time he has chosen his cereal and gotten out a bowl, I'm cleaning up spilled cereal boxes, dumped oatmeal, and dishes all over the floor.  Not to mention all the hitting that goes on while Austin is choosing and Avery is trying to take things.  Again, just not worth it.  So I do it.  I'm sure there are little pockets of time where I could be teaching them more skills without Avery the destructo in the way, but I'm just so exhausted by it all. 

 

Do you guys with olders not deal with this?  Am I missing some magical way to be doing things?  Or is it the combo of 3.75 years old and nearly 2 that is doing me in?  'Cause, Sara and Ash, both your olders are older than Avalon.

post #1556 of 2728
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post

Thanks for the video Sara, that was awesome!   I do try and encourage self sufficiency, but often I don't have time to do the teaching. 

I don't do any teaching on days I have to leave the house before 10. I have a major time advantage over you.


I know, I know, it will pay off later, but some things will also come naturally as they get older.

Some things will, certainly, but my kids rarely chose to be more independent when I do things for them. I they would still let me put their socks on and tie their shoes if I was willing.


  Avalon, of course, dresses and wipes herself, but sometimes she decides to dress herself inappropriately for the weather so I have to take care of that. 

I just tell my kids to go change. I give them verbal instructions for that.



Austin can mostly dress himself, but can't get his socks on or some of his shoes.  He also cannot wipe well enough in the bathroom so I have to deal with that.

Socks and shoes are tricky.

  Avery needs to be held on the toilet and wiped so I have to take care of that. 

All my kids have been able to perch on the toilet from 14-18 months. Avery probably just doesn't know he can yet. My older kids had me convinced thy couldn't wipe before 4, but since Shay can, I'll tell you how he does it. He squats on the floor and uses a damp cloth wipe. A regular baby wipe would work, too. He wipes, checks, wipes, checks, wipes. He usually has it in 3 wipes. He's not totally independent with this yet, but he will be much earlier than the other kids were.


And he can't dress himself certainly and if left to his own devices would run around with just a shirt on.  Fine for summer, but not anymore.

We have a similar problem.


  Avalon can get her own cereal in a bowl, but can't reach the rice milk.

Move the rice milk lower?

  She could with a step stool of course, but by the time all this has happened, Avery has taken off with the majority of the glass containers in the fridge and I'm chasing after him to prevent major spills and glass breakage.

Hmm, my kids love to empty the fridge, but I don't mess around with that running around stuff. I don't chase and my children can generally tell when I'm serious. "Shay put that in the fridge and bring me the ..." Is usually effective for me. I usually make them put everything back if they get it out. And thy don't spill or break, they're gentle. Mostly.


  Similar things happen when I try to get Austin to make his own stuff... Avery will take everything out of the cabinets while Austin is in there rummaging around in his slow, 3 year old fashion.  So by the time he has chosen his cereal and gotten out a bowl, I'm cleaning up spilled cereal boxes, dumped oatmeal, and dishes all over the floor.  Not to mention all the hitting that goes on while Austin is choosing and Avery is trying to take things.  Again, just not worth it.  So I do it.

My biggest trick is to put the boys on the counter when they need to be contained. They love t sit on the counter to help me. They can't get down by themselves so they are effectively in a playpen, but they see it as a privilege.


  I'm sure there are little pockets of time where I could be teaching them more skills without Avery the destructo in the way, but I'm just so exhausted by it all. 

I have two one and a half year olds. I totally feel you.

Do you guys with olders not deal with this?  Am I missing some magical way to be doing things?  Or is it the combo of 3.75 years old and nearly 2 that is doing me in?  'Cause, Sara and Ash, both your olders are older than Avalon.

So, Ari turned 8 in August. She is freaking awesome. She can supervise either of the babies at home, at the park, or in the grocery store. She is a great helper. She can help them with their shoes. She cannot put pants on Shay because I can barely do that. He's a beast. She can get clothes on them when they're cooperative. She can make a sandwich or wrap for herself or brothers (O can do all these things, too, but she's closer to Avalon's age). She can distract them while I make dinner or she can help make dinner. She can serve them breakfast as easily as she serves herself. I do not ask her to be responsible for both, but each big kid can take one toddler, say, to look at the fish while I finish shopping. She can push the stroller while I deal with a tantruming brother. She can give them a bath. I can't even think f all the helpful things she can do. She's great. And I have two of them! Life is so much simpler when all four kids are home than when it's just adults and babies. And my idlers adore the babies, so it's not like they're stuck with them as chores. Ari and Shay are especially smitten and Osha and Soren have a special fondness for one another. They pair off like that a lot.
post #1557 of 2728

Sara,  Super cute video.  Shay follows instructions really well.  My floor usually looks like that too, even if I just cleaned 3 minutes ago.  I give up!

 

Jaimee,  I think it just depends on your kids and their personalities really.  Luckily for me, Olivine and Coralie don't fight that much and O never hits Coralie (but C will hit or bite O sometimes).  Our biggest issue here is who gets to pick the game or show on the iPad.  I started letting Cyan help in the kitchen around 3yo and he started having very involved chores by 5yo.   It was a HUGE amount of work to teach Cyan how to do chores properly (like an hour of dedicated time a day).  However, by the time he was 6yo, he could do more chores from start to finish than any of his friends that we knew.  He isn't a kid with a lot of common sense and he can't follow verbal instructions at all, so it was slow process.  In the end though, it was SOOOO worth it.  He helps out so much and has a great work ethic.  We just started Olivine with a daily chore (silverware) and now she also does that readily too.  I will probably start her with something more involved here soon.

 

Kirsten, ::hugs::  I sucks at emotional stuff, so I don't have any great insight, but I certainly see the value of that perspective.

 

Nicole,  I'm glad you had fun last night and didn't drink too much.  ;)

 

Ash,  Hows the sewing coming along today?

 

Well, 1 of the families that were interested in the bus changed their minds, so we're just left with the original family that wants it for the documentary.  They got their financing approved last week and the paperwork should all be done this week.  We're pretty sure that they are going to buy it, so woo hoo!!  

 

We also got invited to another birthday party today, so we get to go out again and be social with our new local 'friends'.  It should be a good time and there will be lots of the kids around for ours to play with.

post #1558 of 2728
Awesome Sara! I love how he has three spoons in his bowl. Due to space limitations our micro is on top of the fridge, quite high, I have to stand on my tip toes to reach the stuff inside wink1.gif

Slept okay, still tired. Must also go make breakfast Eli is begging for food and I can use a cup of tea...
post #1559 of 2728

So, just to see, I just had Olivine make her own yogurt, with frozen berries and honey.  She was totally capable of doing it all herself.  Oh, and Coralie can do her own undies and pants (up and down), but still needs help with her shirts.  I suspect that if I dedicated a bit of time, she could totally dress herself, but then she loves to get dressed and undressed, so she's willing to practice.  Although, if left on her own she would also just wear a shirt all day.  She takes her undies/pants off about 20 times a day.

post #1560 of 2728
Abra, have fun at your party. I hope the financing comes through for the bus family.

Sonja, microwave on the fridge? Yikes! I can see pouring hot all over myself. I'm glad it works for y'all.

Jaimee, the bit I forgot to add, my kids are mostly related to me, we come from a long line of "life is good" type people. I think that gives me another advantage. I'm way chill and more likely to laugh about frustration than cry. My kids are phenomenally laid back, which makes it that much easier for me. I don't have a lot of projects and commitments, so it's easy for me to just be in the moment without big worries.
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