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October Chat Thread - come chat with us! - Page 5

post #81 of 101

With ds1, i had the ring of fire, the worst part is before the ring of fire, when you push, the baby crowns and goes back up...the going back up hurts and just feels wrong, yuck. the ring of fire itself is intense but not exactly painful, just intense...at least for me it was. But at that point you are so close to baby time, that you are MOTIVATED to get er done. lol

post #82 of 101

Strangely, I don't remember a ring of fire with DS2, but maybe because he had a fist next to his cheek when he came out? It was all just very intense...! (with DS1 ended up with epidural and pitocin)

post #83 of 101

I don't remember a ring of fire either. I did hypnobabies, and didn't prepare myself for pain, and I really didn't experience any pain, just intensity.

 

We are planning a second homebirth. I just got a call from the midwife practice today. They are having a meeting for couples considering homebirth and planning homebirth. I definitely want to go to that. I feel very fortunate, living here in Denmark and having my babies here. The health care is all public, and of a very high standard. It's just as free for a homebirth, hospital birth, birth centre, or c section. I'm entitled to 50 weeks of paid maternity leave (the last 32 weeks can be shared with my husband, split up and stretched to supplement going back to work part time, or kept and used any time before the child's 9th birthday), and my husband gets 8 weeks paid paternity leave. The medical system here is set up so that once you go to the GP to confirm your pregnancy, you're immediately in the system. You get a letter in the mail with the date and time you've been scheduled for ultrasounds, blood tests, midwife visits, and anything else, for example, high-risk moms automatically get a letter for a prenatal diabetes screening. But you can opt out of anything. There's no ob/gyn involvement unless there is a problem. The pregnancy is followed closely by midwives and your GP. By law, you and your partner are entitled to be paid by your employer for the time you take off to go to all your appointments. With my first birth, it was fantastic, the midwife was there for most of the 17 hours of the birthing, and for 3 hours after that. She came back the next day to check up on me, and again 3 days later. Then after the first week, the neighbourhood health worker came to check up on us, and introduce herself, and let me know she and her services are available to us until our son turns 18. 

 

When I heard the words "Public Health Care System" before coming here, this is not what I had imagined, but I am sooooo thankful for not having to have the stress of finances taking part in the decision of how to have my baby. My heart goes out to those of you who do, and I assure you, I am thanking my lucky stars for this!

post #84 of 101
Thread Starter 

Wow, Kris, that sounds fantastic! Definitely be thankful for all of those opportunities. And to be able to use your time until they are 9?! Holy moly! Wow! 

 

As for the ring of fire, I had two natural in-hospital births and I don't remember it. 

post #85 of 101

Wow that does sound amazing Kris :)

post #86 of 101

Ok, so I'm totally jealous of Kris.

 

Also, the Ring of fire with my one natural delivery made me giggle: dh had promised in our prenatal classes that he would sing Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" at the right moment....I said, "oooh, it's burning!" and then looked at my dh and giggled, "Don't sing!" so I think it's all in the presentation ;-) The worst part of the natural labor was right when I hit transition and it felt overwhelming...luckily my doula made me get up and walk at that point (I had just gotten to the hospital) and I realized in the moment as I drifted in laborland as I walked that it was the fear of the next pain and what might come after that was overwhelming ... I could handle This Now, so I learned to stay right there in the Now. Good metaphor for Everything!

 

I just got home from my 19 week anatomy scan and it was fun. She slept while the tech did her thing, pointing out creepy skeletal images (lol, I hate ultrasounds) and then the baby woke up and was shaking her fist at the MD :) Like mama like daughter. We saw real live girl parts and she seems to have all the right parts in all the right places. I get to go back for another peek at her heart in 4 weeks when she'll be older & bigger so they can see smaller heart pieces. It was so nice to take dh with me this time...I've made him stay out of all the OB appts so far because I was superstitious (when he went with me before we got bad news every time!) so I am delighted to have that wall broken!

 

Then when we walked into the hospital Bistro afterwards, the song that inspired the latest name dh has favorited was playing... a sign?!? It felt like it to me! So this baby may be called Smile Clementine :):joy

post #87 of 101

abiyhayil - I know I felt the "ring of fire" but it didn't last long at all that I don't remember it being completely horrible or anything. That's how the entire labor and birth is for me though. I know in the moment it was hard, and through transition especially I wanted to give up in a sense but it was like running a marathon to me. it's hard while you do it but as time goes on afterward you "forget" how hard it was and decide to do it again. Best of luck to you this time! Roll with it and let your body do it's thing!

 

Kris - just WOW! That sounds wonderful!! just a little envious over here ;-)

 

 

Merialiss - that's wonderful! I love the name too :-)

post #88 of 101
Thanks for the replies : ) I'm not ready to commit, but I'm thinking about it

Kris, Denmark sounds lovely and progressive in a practical way

Merialiss, Clementine would be a sweet name, along with a song for daddy to serenade her
post #89 of 101

Kris~ I hope you don't mind me asking, but I can't help but wonder what the income tax rate is there to cover care like that :)

post #90 of 101

Marialiss, congrats on a great scan! Mine is next week and I am starting to get nervous!

 

Kris, that does sound awesome! I love that you can share the leave with spouse and take it any time through early childhood! A friend of mine is from Denmark where they also have generous policies, and she said that it is extremely rare for anyone to use day care before age 1 (and would be hard to find), but then almost everyone starts their children in day care at that point. When do people typically start using care there?

 

Here's what I wish we had: decent maternity leave of a minimum of 3 months, preferably 6 months, and in an ideal world, at least a year. Then, the RIGHT to convert your full-time professional job into a part-time position. It is such a shame that professional moms typically have to chose between no work and full time work. I actually want to be a mom, and spend time with my children, and pick them up from school. But I also would like to hold on to my career. For now, I have negotiated a part-time solution, but it is not permanent and is likely to change soon. I can't fathom going back full time. :( My kids are 3 and 5 and baby is on the way.

 

Of course, the situation is even more dire for low wage workers, who get no leave at all, typically don't qualify for FMLA because there is so much turnover in low-wage positions so they haven't been there long enough to qualify, not to mention, FMLA is unpaid anyway. Ugh, it is so hard.

post #91 of 101

seriously @porcelina ! I feel the same! My last job was supportive enough to let me work an altered schedule for nearly 10 months (by using the leave time I had accrued and spacing out the FMLA but i had also been there a long time). I LOVED the months I worked part time! It was nice to still connect to my coworkers and have a career but then have so much more family time! unfortunately that is not an option this time as I am new to my position. :-( My husband and I are still trying to figure out how we could possibly afford me taking a leave of absence for a while since I don't have anywhere near the amount of paid leave I had accrued at my last job.

post #92 of 101

I'm just checking in to say I started having contractions yesterday which kept up for 4 or 5 hours. It was really upsetting. At first they were just normal BH, but they started to get uncomfortable about an hour in and I went home from the park we were at, worried. I took an epsom salt bath and ate, rested. They finally stopped at around 8pm. There was no bleeding or anything, but it was unlike anything I have experienced in previous pregnancies. I really hope it was a one-time thing! Anyone else having BH? I'm 22 weeks 5 days.

post #93 of 101

That's scary. I've had some tightening, but nothing I'd call BH. I know others have it now, though.
I'd want to call my midwife.

post #94 of 101
Thread Starter 

Oh Tabitha, I'm sorry that happened! It sounds like you knew what to do and hopefully that is enough. I'd probably let me doc know. Because you are a loss momma, maybe they would want to see you? Doppler, ultrasound, internal check, something? Stay in there baby!!! 

post #95 of 101

Thanks. Yeah, yesterday was fine. What a strange thing!

post #96 of 101

Ugh.  Just got back from my midwife appt. and am extremely bummed.  We opted for an anatomy scan this time because we wanted to find out the gender this time (hindsight we could have skipped it because we opted for a private scan anyway so the boys could be there).  The tech at the anatomy scan said everything was fine, and apparently it wasn't.  Of course, someone at the birth center dropped the ball and no one called me to tell me this, so I found out this morning.  Basically my amniotic fluid measured a little low and some of the growth ratios were off.   Maybe IUGR, but quite possibly it is nothing but inaccurate results from the anatomy scan.  SO, I have to go for ANOTHER scan at the perinatologist next week to find out 1) it's nothing or 2) it's something and I will need extra monitoring for the rest of the pregnancy - of course, monitoring doesn't really do much for outcomes...  

 

I am so conflicted right now.  On the one hand, I wish I had never gotten the scan.  I am measuring fine, baby girl is active, I feel pretty good overall.  It's almost funny after having 2 overdue 9.5 pound boys with ginormous placentas to be told that this baby might have a malfunctioning placenta, or be small for dates, or need to come early.  I avoided going to the perinatologist for my scan in the first place because I felt like their role is to FIND things to worry about and I didn't want that.  I was not impressed with the radiology place that we used, and tend to think that they just got poor measurements (of course that is what I HOPE too).

 

On the other hand, I want baby girl to be healthy, so I will do what we need to do… I'd be lying if I didn't say I was scared and worried and ready to cry at the drop of a hat.  Then I get mad again and wish I hadn't had the scan in the first place….ugh.

post #97 of 101

oh honey, how worrisome, i wish i had some advice (((hugs)))

post #98 of 101

Aw gizzy, I'm so sorry you feel bad about this. But the bottom line is that you can't go back, and your baby IS healthy -- she has kidneys in the right spot, a 4-chamber heart, a perfect brain, and all perfect baby parts!! This is great information!! There *might* be a small issue with IUGR but every case I have heard of with that has turned out very well (despite being born small). Now that you have the information, you are going to be set for all to turn out perfectly well. Again, you didn't just get possibly bad news from the scan, you got a lot of very good news as well. The medical evidence suggests that the benefits of monitoring when there is something to worry about outweigh any risks. Hopefully, all will be perfect at the next scan, and you won't have to worry anymore. But you can't go back and change anything, so please don't beat yourself up about wishing you hadn't gone. What's done is done, and you have information you didn't have before, and most of that is really good information. Your baby is most likely perfect and you will find that out soon! Hugs to you!

post #99 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by porcelina View Post
 

Aw gizzy, I'm so sorry you feel bad about this. But the bottom line is that you can't go back, and your baby IS healthy -- she has kidneys in the right spot, a 4-chamber heart, a perfect brain, and all perfect baby parts!! This is great information!! There *might* be a small issue with IUGR but every case I have heard of with that has turned out very well (despite being born small). Now that you have the information, you are going to be set for all to turn out perfectly well. Again, you didn't just get possibly bad news from the scan, you got a lot of very good news as well. The medical evidence suggests that the benefits of monitoring when there is something to worry about outweigh any risks. Hopefully, all will be perfect at the next scan, and you won't have to worry anymore. But you can't go back and change anything, so please don't beat yourself up about wishing you hadn't gone. What's done is done, and you have information you didn't have before, and most of that is really good information. Your baby is most likely perfect and you will find that out soon! Hugs to you!

This!!

post #100 of 101

tabitha, I've felt like I've held my breath waiting to hear if you've had a recurrence,  thank goodness it seems like it was a one time thing!  Maybe a combo of needing fluids plus being out and about?

 

gizzyntaz, what have you found out about IUGR?  Are there interventions that help?  Is this something the private scan would have shown too?

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