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Queer, Pregnant & Parenting October, November & December 2013! - Page 6

post #101 of 194
Emmitt was born Nov 18 at 4:08 pm. I was only 37 wks 6 days but my bp was getting high so the dr decided it best to take him early. He was 7 lbs 1.1 oz and 19 1/2 in long. He is currently 6 lbs 7.4 oz but nurses like a champ! Other than being a bit small he is perfect in every way! Got home today from the hospital and oh so very tired.

post #102 of 194
Thread Starter 

AMT - congratulations!!! He looks like he was well worth the wait and love the name. What a cutie! xx


Escher - not long!!! hope your little one comes soon.

post #103 of 194
Congratulations, AMT! joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif
post #104 of 194
Congratulations Amt! I hope you are recuperating well now that you are home. He's so cute!
post #105 of 194

Amt--congratulations!  welcome to the world Emmitt.


redrockband--the amount of diapers to choose from is totally overwhelming, but from what i can tell, few brands/types are actually bad, so it's mostly about personal preference.  lots of people like to have a few types around to test on their actual baby before investing in a big stash, to see what fits their baby's body best.  the particular things i wanted most were sized wool covers--because they can be used the most before washing, they're naturally breathable and antibacterial, they work well in warm and cool weather, and to satisfy my own personal tactile preference.  from that point, i did a lot of research to find the most affordable way to buy what i wanted.  i think the main thing to consider is what you want most--affordability, cute colors, all-in-ones, etc.  


escher--your online voice makes it sound like you are so placidly, peacefully waiting for your new baby to arrive.  how is your dw feeling?  the disana deal is awesome, and i'm really happy with what we chose as well.  


Liz--how are you doing?


afm--i'm beyond excited that it's friday, and i'm waiting for my dp to come home so we can make a homemade pizza, watch a movie, and go to bed early!  happy weekend everybody.

post #106 of 194
Amt--Congrats on your gorgeous baby boy!

Redrock--We used (and will use) thirsties duos all in ones with prefolds and snappis. We picked those almost entirely because they're cheap, and our friends used them on their daughter, so we'd had a chance to practice with them. Going on diaperswappers or the other forums for cloth is just so overwhelming to me. Like breadandcoffee said, you mostly can't go really wrong, just better or worse for you.

AFM--we're starting to tell people, though we really need to keep a lid on things a bit more. Trying to pick a hospital sucks. No midwives take twin pregnancies, as far as I can tell, and the hospital we had DD at kicked ours out anyway, so there's some bad feeling there and we'd like to find someplace closer to home. DP wants to take tours and see if one of the top two feels like a good fit. Even though it feels ridiculously early, it'll help determine who our OB is, so I feel like we need to decide now.
post #107 of 194

Isa - before we had our twins I never really thought about how there were different level NICUs. It turned out our local hospital only has a "special care nursery," so if we had delivered before 34 weeks we wouldn't have the hospital or the OB practice we started out with. We decided we wanted at least that one thing not to be up in the air. We also hated that OB practice, so we ended up going with a practice that would have us deliver at the hospital with a NICU. Our doula recommended an OB who was backed by a team of midwives that all the local people who risked out of their midwife births transferred to. You might ask midwife practices around town who people go to when they risk out and you might just find a great provider. It makes such a big difference when so many things about your birth are not what you would choose.

post #108 of 194
Yes, good luck on the provider search. I was lucky to have midwives deliver the twins. The parenting multiples forum has some good advice on questions to ask, etc.
post #109 of 194
Thread Starter 

bread&coffee - all good here thanks. We had homemade pizza at a 3 year old's birthday party last weekend and it was a great night made even funnier because she wouldn't keep ANY of her clothes on.


isa - can you tell me when you're due? I need to update you on the list.


AFM not really up to much at the moment, just hanging out. 1 week until our sex scan and very excited about that. My pregnant  friends all hate me  because I've had no morning sickness or cravings which I'm loving. A friends baby had open heart surgery 3 weeks ago and it was successful so two lots of good baby news to hopefully turn around the multiple bad news of earlier this year. HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE IT XX

post #110 of 194
Liz, glad to hear the surgery went well! I'm due on July 10, my birthday. smile.gif

Thanks for the twin advice, I'll definitely check the nicu levels, and DP is harassing our twin-mom doctor-friend for recommendations as I type...
post #111 of 194
Thread Starter 

Hi all,


I have a question: My mum is talking of coming over to visit after I give birth (she lives on the other side of the world but spends 6 months in France near me). She's talking of coming over for 5 days or so a few days after my due date (but not staying with us). Do you think that's too soon? DW is worried as she wants the 2 weeks after the baby to be just us before we get 'help' or visitors. Mum has been very careful not to intrude but she thinks it's important having your mum around during this time. Any suggestions? I'm feeling very torn between DW & mum!

post #112 of 194
Totally depends on the people involved, Liz. I had my mom stay with us for two weeks after W was born (she was also in delivery room for birth). She was amazing. DW called her the laundry fairy. She gave us breaks at night so we could sleep, pep talks when overwhelmed, and just generally helped us get through the fog. Plus, it felt nice to be mothered a bit myself regarding my recovery (I had a 2nd degree tear and a lot of swelling around my stitches for 10 days). Were there moments when I was ready for her to go home? Sure, but the benefits far outweighed those feelings. But again, that's largely because of who she is, and the relationships DW and I have with her. Only you and your DP know if this visit will work for you.
post #113 of 194
Ha, how timely, @lizbian! My MIL just left and I'm so relieved! She's a lovely person but just super... Hover-y? Like a helicopter. And a worrier. About everything. Including me dropping the baby. Ugh. I already posted about this a little in the QP thread, so I won't go on about it again, but mainly I just want to agree with @Sphinxy: Depends on your mom.

I *wish* my MIL had been a laundry fairy! That sounds fabulous!

I also caution against assuming the baby will arrive by EDD... Can your mom travel last minute? I asked my inlaws to wait until I was in labour before booking tickets, and to give DP and I 2 weeks on our own first to get ourselves in a groove. They ignored these requests & arrived 10 days after his EDD. Though it worked out that Z was born the day before they arrived, I'm still annoyed that they ignored my requests and a little sad that DP & Z & I didn't get those first few days alone together. I was feeling better than I expected after birthing, but it would have been nice to just relax & recuperate quietly without having to visit. I'm also grateful that my milk came in & Z nursed like a champ from the start... I would not have wanted to deal with breastfeeding challenges on top of having guests!
post #114 of 194
Thread Starter 

thanks ladies. The problem is that they live in Australia but spend 5 months of the year in France travelling. The timing is a bit difficult because the longer she delays seeing us the later she has to push everything else which is the problem and why she can't wait until then to book to come over (will be two flights and a train).


Mum has been very, very careful not to be interfering at all, and by her not staying here I think that would continue. Saying that, the fact she wants to come over and help is lovely since when we told her we were TTC she was pretty negative about it, so for her to want to come is a massive turnaround and our rocky relationship is finally getting back on track.


I agree about EDD - especially since mine was moved forward 3 days so who knows what is going to happen! Also I'm aware that DW is going to want some 'bonding' time with pinto and as she doesn't get any paternity leave paid, any time off she has will have to be holiday so is very precious. I might try to move mum back a week or so.

post #115 of 194
Oh, I hear you! We weren't sure DP's parents would even think of our kid as their grandchild, and so the fact that they were so keen to come see him as soon as possible was a pretty big deal! And I think it was very important in terms of them understanding and appreciating my DP, to see that she's a parent now too... Maybe not in the way they expected, but still, a parent.

By when will your mom need to make plans?
post #116 of 194
Thread Starter 

yeah it's actually a massive turnaround for her so don't want her to feel unwelcome! She'll probably need to book in the next couple of months. The other complication is that my sister-in-law is due to give birth in Australia the same week! My sister was talking of visiting in April as well (she is very restricted as to when she can get time off work) but that might just be tipping things over the edge with DW, even though they do all get on very well. I think I'm doing the usual thing of trying to make everyone else happy when actually I need to think about myself for a change and how I'm going to feel about it all!

post #117 of 194
Liz, if she will be there for months but not staying with you, can you just let her come as planned and then just play it by ear to see when you want to see her? I liked all the visitors early on, especially my mother in law, butitdepends on things that can be hard to guess beforehand.
post #118 of 194
Thread Starter 

hey prettyisa she's only on the island for a week or less so not sure yet how much I can dictate. trying to get her somewhere within walking distance though.

post #119 of 194
I'd say to have her come for 5 days 2 weeks after your due date, then. Because you might potentially go that long before having the baby (mine was born at 41+1, but there's no telling). I think your DW is going to have to be flexible on this one, since it's not like your mum can pop over any time. And the truth is, you'll all have a LOT of time together with just the baby. The first few weeks are special, but most people have lots and lots of visitors in that time, both helpful and not.
post #120 of 194

Amt: Congrats!!!!!


Breadandcoffee and Isa: Thanks for the diaper feedback. We spend a good portion of the day on Saturday reading and watching videos and have a plan for now. We are going to try to make some on our own, with the help of my mom who can sew almost anything.  


Isa: I don't think it's weird to be picking a hospital now. It can make a really big difference in the whole experience. I hope you all find one that works for you and an OB you feel good about. 


Liz: That is a hard situation. DW's mom has also been less than supportive and if she all of a sudden were acting like she was excited about this baby and wanted to be there, we'd have a hard time not totally embracing her support in whatever way she wanted to express it. I also know that I could not handle my mom staying with us at all after the baby comes. It's good that she only lives 30 minutes away. I love her dearly, but she is much like how granite described her MIL and can be very overbearing. It also would not be difficult or uncomfortable me to me explain to my mom that we want baby alone time for a couple of weeks. I think Isa's suggestion is a good one. That way you will likely get some time alone before your mom arrives. 5 days really isn't that long. 

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