Queer, Pregnant & Parenting October, November & December 2013! - Page 6
Amt--congratulations! welcome to the world Emmitt.
redrockband--the amount of diapers to choose from is totally overwhelming, but from what i can tell, few brands/types are actually bad, so it's mostly about personal preference. lots of people like to have a few types around to test on their actual baby before investing in a big stash, to see what fits their baby's body best. the particular things i wanted most were sized wool covers--because they can be used the most before washing, they're naturally breathable and antibacterial, they work well in warm and cool weather, and to satisfy my own personal tactile preference. from that point, i did a lot of research to find the most affordable way to buy what i wanted. i think the main thing to consider is what you want most--affordability, cute colors, all-in-ones, etc.
escher--your online voice makes it sound like you are so placidly, peacefully waiting for your new baby to arrive. how is your dw feeling? the disana deal is awesome, and i'm really happy with what we chose as well.
Liz--how are you doing?
afm--i'm beyond excited that it's friday, and i'm waiting for my dp to come home so we can make a homemade pizza, watch a movie, and go to bed early! happy weekend everybody.
Redrock--We used (and will use) thirsties duos all in ones with prefolds and snappis. We picked those almost entirely because they're cheap, and our friends used them on their daughter, so we'd had a chance to practice with them. Going on diaperswappers or the other forums for cloth is just so overwhelming to me. Like breadandcoffee said, you mostly can't go really wrong, just better or worse for you.
AFM--we're starting to tell people, though we really need to keep a lid on things a bit more. Trying to pick a hospital sucks. No midwives take twin pregnancies, as far as I can tell, and the hospital we had DD at kicked ours out anyway, so there's some bad feeling there and we'd like to find someplace closer to home. DP wants to take tours and see if one of the top two feels like a good fit. Even though it feels ridiculously early, it'll help determine who our OB is, so I feel like we need to decide now.
Isa - before we had our twins I never really thought about how there were different level NICUs. It turned out our local hospital only has a "special care nursery," so if we had delivered before 34 weeks we wouldn't have the hospital or the OB practice we started out with. We decided we wanted at least that one thing not to be up in the air. We also hated that OB practice, so we ended up going with a practice that would have us deliver at the hospital with a NICU. Our doula recommended an OB who was backed by a team of midwives that all the local people who risked out of their midwife births transferred to. You might ask midwife practices around town who people go to when they risk out and you might just find a great provider. It makes such a big difference when so many things about your birth are not what you would choose.
bread&coffee - all good here thanks. We had homemade pizza at a 3 year old's birthday party last weekend and it was a great night made even funnier because she wouldn't keep ANY of her clothes on.
isa - can you tell me when you're due? I need to update you on the list.
AFM not really up to much at the moment, just hanging out. 1 week until our sex scan and very excited about that. My pregnant friends all hate me because I've had no morning sickness or cravings which I'm loving. A friends baby had open heart surgery 3 weeks ago and it was successful so two lots of good baby news to hopefully turn around the multiple bad news of earlier this year. HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE IT XX
I have a question: My mum is talking of coming over to visit after I give birth (she lives on the other side of the world but spends 6 months in France near me). She's talking of coming over for 5 days or so a few days after my due date (but not staying with us). Do you think that's too soon? DW is worried as she wants the 2 weeks after the baby to be just us before we get 'help' or visitors. Mum has been very careful not to intrude but she thinks it's important having your mum around during this time. Any suggestions? I'm feeling very torn between DW & mum!
I *wish* my MIL had been a laundry fairy! That sounds fabulous!
I also caution against assuming the baby will arrive by EDD... Can your mom travel last minute? I asked my inlaws to wait until I was in labour before booking tickets, and to give DP and I 2 weeks on our own first to get ourselves in a groove. They ignored these requests & arrived 10 days after his EDD. Though it worked out that Z was born the day before they arrived, I'm still annoyed that they ignored my requests and a little sad that DP & Z & I didn't get those first few days alone together. I was feeling better than I expected after birthing, but it would have been nice to just relax & recuperate quietly without having to visit. I'm also grateful that my milk came in & Z nursed like a champ from the start... I would not have wanted to deal with breastfeeding challenges on top of having guests!
thanks ladies. The problem is that they live in Australia but spend 5 months of the year in France travelling. The timing is a bit difficult because the longer she delays seeing us the later she has to push everything else which is the problem and why she can't wait until then to book to come over (will be two flights and a train).
Mum has been very, very careful not to be interfering at all, and by her not staying here I think that would continue. Saying that, the fact she wants to come over and help is lovely since when we told her we were TTC she was pretty negative about it, so for her to want to come is a massive turnaround and our rocky relationship is finally getting back on track.
I agree about EDD - especially since mine was moved forward 3 days so who knows what is going to happen! Also I'm aware that DW is going to want some 'bonding' time with pinto and as she doesn't get any paternity leave paid, any time off she has will have to be holiday so is very precious. I might try to move mum back a week or so.
By when will your mom need to make plans?
yeah it's actually a massive turnaround for her so don't want her to feel unwelcome! She'll probably need to book in the next couple of months. The other complication is that my sister-in-law is due to give birth in Australia the same week! My sister was talking of visiting in April as well (she is very restricted as to when she can get time off work) but that might just be tipping things over the edge with DW, even though they do all get on very well. I think I'm doing the usual thing of trying to make everyone else happy when actually I need to think about myself for a change and how I'm going to feel about it all!
Breadandcoffee and Isa: Thanks for the diaper feedback. We spend a good portion of the day on Saturday reading and watching videos and have a plan for now. We are going to try to make some on our own, with the help of my mom who can sew almost anything.
Isa: I don't think it's weird to be picking a hospital now. It can make a really big difference in the whole experience. I hope you all find one that works for you and an OB you feel good about.
Liz: That is a hard situation. DW's mom has also been less than supportive and if she all of a sudden were acting like she was excited about this baby and wanted to be there, we'd have a hard time not totally embracing her support in whatever way she wanted to express it. I also know that I could not handle my mom staying with us at all after the baby comes. It's good that she only lives 30 minutes away. I love her dearly, but she is much like how granite described her MIL and can be very overbearing. It also would not be difficult or uncomfortable me to me explain to my mom that we want baby alone time for a couple of weeks. I think Isa's suggestion is a good one. That way you will likely get some time alone before your mom arrives. 5 days really isn't that long.