Well, okay, Liz! But I sure wasn't trying to... I'm dead serious! If someone thinks I'm "fat", and that "fat" equals "ugly" or "unworthy", then that's their problem, not mine... And I'm not interested in letting them try to make it into my problem, by giving room to their judgements of me and my body, ykwim?
About 7 years ago, when I was 25, I got an email from the first girl I'd ever been in love with, telling me that she had cancer. I hadn't talked to her in years, and we lived on opposite side of the continent, and still it hit me like a ton of bricks. I took a shower to try to ground myself, and in the steam I looked down at my body and suddenly knew to my absolute core how incredibly lucky I was to have it, and how temporary its wholeness and magnificent health could be. How much time had I wasted, thinking of what it would be like to be skinny? Why would I occupy my time in this way, instead of taking advantage of all the blessings that come with the body I *do* have? Since then, I've worked hard to take care of & celebrate everything I can about my body and all that it can do... Whether that's carry 100 ft of steel pipe on a construction site, or grow a great big baby and (hopefully!) push it out into the waiting arms of my spouse!
So, YES, CocoBird, I agree: Our bodies *are* amazing! Thank you for sharing those links, and especially the Ani song... I'm with Soto, tearing up over here...
(As for the first girl I'd ever been in love with, we've sadly drifted out of touch again, but I know she did recover from that bout of cancer, and now has two sons with her wife, at least one of whom she herself gave birth to... How awesome is that!)
Soto, thanks for sharing about your mom... Mine is like that sometimes, and then other times is so fantastic about body acceptance; it drives me nuts. Oh, and I know what you mean about socializing & vulnerability! I was supposed to go to a prenatal "crafternoon" at my friend's house today, and just couldn't muster the energy, especially as I wouldn't know any of the other women and they are all straight.
Hi, Sphinxy! Looking forward to hearing your baby's arrived! Filling time but without much energy, hmmm... Well, Pokey's idea of floating around in a pool is super-appealing. There's one here in my city that uses salt instead of chlorine, and I think I'll be making the trek over there a lot in the next month or so. Otherwise, I'm a big fan of the knitting/sewing + teevee combo, as suggested by mrsandmrs. Mostly I like shows produced by the BBC. I'm not really knitting anything practical for baby anymore; just finishing a big lace blanket that we'll all use, and going to be starting on a cape for myself to wear... Can't start a sweater without knowing how big my breasts are going to get once my milk comes in!
Mrsandmrs, I still haven't sewn boppy covers either, mostly cuz I'm not liking anything in my fabric stash... But you're inspiring me to make at least one from my collection of thick terry cloth, LOL.
AFM: My mom was visiting from Toronto for the past week, and after saying goodbye to her at the airport yesterday morning, I went back out to my car and cried for a good 45 minutes. I've been living far away from her for 12 years, and it never used to bother me... In fact, it's been fantastic for helping us to build a great, adult relationship. But there's something about being hugely pregnant with my first kid, and knowing my mom is across the country, that is really getting to me.