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Queer, Pregnant & Parenting October, November & December 2013! - Page 2

post #21 of 194
Originally Posted by lizbian View Post

 bless you Granite - you do make me laugh!!!!

Well, okay, Liz! But I sure wasn't trying to... I'm dead serious! If someone thinks I'm "fat", and that "fat" equals "ugly" or "unworthy", then that's their problem, not mine... And I'm not interested in letting them try to make it into my problem, by giving room to their judgements of me and my body, ykwim?


About 7 years ago, when I was 25, I got an email from the first girl I'd ever been in love with, telling me that she had cancer. I hadn't talked to her in years, and we lived on opposite side of the continent, and still it hit me like a ton of bricks. I took a shower to try to ground myself, and in the steam I looked down at my body and suddenly knew to my absolute core how incredibly lucky I was to have it, and how temporary its wholeness and magnificent health could be. How much time had I wasted, thinking of what it would be like to be skinny? Why would I occupy my time in this way, instead of taking advantage of all the blessings that come with the body I *do* have?  Since then, I've worked hard to take care of & celebrate everything I can about my body and all that it can do... Whether that's carry 100 ft of steel pipe on a construction site, or grow a great big baby and (hopefully!) push it out into the waiting arms of my spouse!


So, YES, CocoBird, I agree: Our bodies *are* amazing! Thank you for sharing those links, and especially the Ani song... I'm with Soto, tearing up over here...


(As for the first girl I'd ever been in love with, we've sadly drifted out of touch again, but I know she did recover from that bout of cancer, and now has two sons with her wife, at least one of whom she herself gave birth to... How awesome is that!)


Soto, thanks for sharing about your mom... Mine is like that sometimes, and then other times is so fantastic about body acceptance; it drives me nuts. Oh, and I know what you mean about socializing & vulnerability! I was supposed to go to a prenatal "crafternoon" at my friend's house today, and just couldn't muster the energy, especially as I wouldn't know any of the other women and they are all straight.


Hi, Sphinxy! Looking forward to hearing your baby's arrived! Filling time but without much energy, hmmm... Well, Pokey's idea of floating around in a pool is super-appealing. There's one here in my city that uses salt instead of chlorine, and I think I'll be making the trek over there a lot in the next month or so. Otherwise, I'm a big fan of the knitting/sewing + teevee combo, as suggested by mrsandmrs. Mostly I like shows produced by the BBC. I'm not really knitting anything practical for baby anymore; just finishing a big lace blanket that we'll all use, and going to be starting on a cape for myself to wear... Can't start a sweater without knowing how big my breasts are going to get once my milk comes in!


Mrsandmrs, I still haven't sewn boppy covers either, mostly cuz I'm not liking anything in my fabric stash... But you're inspiring me to make at least one from my collection of thick terry cloth, LOL.


AFM: My mom was visiting from Toronto for the past week, and after saying goodbye to her at the airport yesterday morning, I went back out to my car and cried for a good 45 minutes. I've been living far away from her for 12 years, and it never used to bother me... In fact, it's been fantastic for helping us to build a great, adult relationship. But there's something about being hugely pregnant with my first kid, and knowing my mom is across the country, that is really getting to me. :(

post #22 of 194
Thread Starter 
Sphinxy - good luck!!!! I hear you, everyone says they just want the baby out by the last couple of weeks. My poor friend went 2 weeks overdue last time!

Granite - you're absolutely right. I used to take my body for granted as did so much sport etc etc. it wasn't until I had 2 knee operations thatI realised how much harder it was to keep in shape. With this little one now I realise that it doesn't matter what we look like, a few pounds extra don't matter especially if the little one is healthy. Our bodies are so fantastic to be able to go through this childbirth journey and do what they should, when they should that I don't really care any more about a bit of flab.
post #23 of 194
Glad you guys enjoyed the song.
I went to a 90F salt water pool during my 3rd trimester and loved it. Now I take Ama there and she loves it!
post #24 of 194
Happy due date Sphinxy! Hope it's soon smile.gif I remember that last stretch feeling super long. Excited for you, because it will be soon!
post #25 of 194

Sphinxy—every day i hope it’s the day you get to meet your babe.  have you figured out anything that’s enjoyable to do while you wait?


mrsandmrs—i love your television recommendations.  gilmore girls is my go-to show, and my dp and i are making our way through all of the episodes right now.  during early pregnancy, when i was often laying on the sofa, i also watched orange is the new black and call the midwife.  i prefer the comfort of familiar, feel-good, but well-written shows like gilmore girls...orange is the new black often left me infuriated and unsettled.


granite—your studio space consolidation sounds hard organizationally, and also familiar—since we’ll be doing something similar soon.  right now all of my dp’s painting supplies, big stretchers, etc. are packed into our laundry room since we have a friend staying in the outbuilding in our yard that is typically the painting studio.  once she moves out (in a few days) we need to return everything to that space, but also somehow set it up with a bed so that it can be a guest house/studio.


also, i appreciate reading your perspective about body size/shape and other people.  normally, i am entirely disinterested in anyone else’s opinion about my body, but an unexpected side-effect of this pregnancy (for me) has been engaging in conversations about the way i look.  my dp and i live down the street from a lovely small food co-op, and we end up stopping in every couple of days.  they offer a 10% pregnancy discount, and so the workers have known about this pregnancy since the very beginning.  it has been surprisingly enjoyable for me to have some of the workers there anticipate the development of my belly along with me.  one cashier in particular and i are both impatiently waiting for a more impressive belly to emerge.


sotohana—thank you for moving me.  your shower photos look very festive.  good luck with your move!


lizbian—belated congratulations on your excellent scan! 


CocoBird—i remember the last time i saw ani she had recently given birth to her baby, and she talked extensively about dealing with her self image in terms of having a baby that looked just like her.  it’s especially interesting to me now, knowing my child will be a girl who is genetically linked to me, because i really want her to look like her own self, rather than a miniature version of me.  for some illogical reason the image of having a boy child that looked just like me was easier to handle...in part because i hoped to eventually get to see what i would look like with a beard.


does anyone with older babies/kids have experience using prefold cloth diapers?  i'm seriously considering only buying assorted wool covers for my prefolds, because it seems like they are able to be used many more times between washings, and because i would much rather use a natural versus synthetic material.  does anyone have certain wool covers they love?  are there non-wool covers that have worked especially well for you?  any downsides (other than cost) related to exclusive wool use?    

post #26 of 194

how are you doing, sphinxy? thinking of you....


granite - definitely stock up on boppy covers. esp. in the early days of breastfeeding, boobs are leaky, babies are not skilled at eating, and you basically cant have enough boppy covers. the ones you can buy at the store are IMHO not very cute. i love your body positivity. xo


B&C - the funny thing is, i am usually not that into TV, but when I was pregnant (and now that i spend so much stinking time sitting around nursing two babies), it seems to fit into my lifestyle a little better... 


RE: Wool covers 

We have a couple for the twins and I love them. The main downside for me is that we live in the pacific northwest and they take forever to dry when you wash them, so you may need more than you think you do. (mine take 4+ days to dry). with that said, i have made them out of recycled and felted wool sweaters, so the cost is very low. i used katrina's soaker pattern (beloved by many in cloth diaper circles http://katrinassqs.blogspot.com/2007/10/free-soaker-pattern.html ) and felted thrift store sweaters. i plan on knitting some shorts and longies at some point with elizabeth zimmerman's pattern from the knitters almanac (seen here http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/baby-leggings-february ) but, well, let's be serious. i should have finished my knitting projects before the twins were born. katrina's soaker takes me less than an hour to crank out, so that's what we have in newborn and small sizes. 

post #27 of 194
Hi B&C! I second Katrina's diaper cover from felted wool sweaters, and Zimmermann's February Baby Leggings, as linked by mrsandmrs above! Well, they're what I made, at any rate... Depends how crafty you are, of course! If you are a knitter, I've also heard tge Curly Purly pattern is great (http://www.curlypurly.com/soaker.html), and my mom prefers this old fashioned straight stitch one: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/soaker-pantie

Off to sew myself a million boppy covers now... smile.gif
post #28 of 194
One more practical downside on prefolds and wool- I might just be bad at prefolds, but in my experience, they tend to have more poop leaks than fitteds or pockets. As mrsandmrs pointed out, the drying time can be intense on wool, and if your covers are getting poopy every day, you might start to feel a little done. We used a bunch of kissaluvs newborn fitteds that I bought on diaperswappers and NEVER had a poop leak with them.
post #29 of 194
We use prefolds and snappis with wool covers and don't have many blow outs, but a lot depends on the baby. And to be totally honest, 85+% of the time, the twins are in prefolds and rumparooz or thirsties covers instead of wool. They are easy and we have a huge stash of them.
post #30 of 194
He's here! Born right on his due date, just like his mama. Birth story to come later - long, hard, no regrets. 2:05pm Eastern on 10/10, he is 8 lbs 7oz, 21.5 inches long and has a 36 cm head. Already latching like a champ!
post #31 of 194
Nice big baby!!!! Congratulations, Sphinxy!!!!!!!! So so happy for you. Isn't it amazing!
post #32 of 194
HURRAH, SPHINXY!!! And welcome, baby boy! Congrats to you & your DP!
post #33 of 194
Congratulations, Sphinxy! Welcome to the world, Baby W! joy.gif

Bread: We love wool covers, especially our longies made from old sweaters. We used prefolds for the first two months (with a diaper service) and then we used flats for the rest of the time our son was in diapers. We had almost no leaks, but that may be partially because we did partial EC so most poop went in the potty. I think the wrap style wool covers (like these or these) look amazing, but they are awfully expensive for sized covers that the baby would outgrow quickly. But if you had someone who wanted to give you some as a gift.... We didn't personally find the ones like Katrina's soaker pattern to be as useful, because it seemed hard to have them be not too big but also big enough to keep the diaper from poking out of the cover. We did often use Thirsties Duo Wraps when we were going out and we didn't want our son to wear wool pants or shorts, and we thought they were great too. Good luck deciding what you want! There are lots of good options.
post #34 of 194

Congratulations, Sphinxy!!! So glad to hear that you have your healthy baby boy in your arms! Yay!

post #35 of 194
Congrats sphinxy! I can't wait to hear your birth story!

Re: wool and prefolds and covers: I love the homemade soakers mrsandmrs made with the pattern she linked. I somehow have a knack for getting a really snug fit in a prefold with a snappi and have yet to have poo get on any of our wool. I'm sure it will happen now that I typed this. I do have some hand-me-down and craigslisted fitteds but I am too much of a cheapskate about diapers to buy anymore. Even our prefolds are used. I am a huge fan of our Rumparooz covers with snap closure. The newborn size even worked on our tiny guy. We have a huge assortment of covers people gave us. Thirsties are decent but my fave are the Rumparooz and this one random lite wrap someone gave us - and those are super cheap. Really I think the best advice actually is to not invest in one thing until you can try them out. If you are registering, register for a gift certificate. Every baby is different and you will develop preferences after you try stuff. And you really don't need a huge diaper stash ready before baby arrives.
post #36 of 194

Sphinxy--congratulations!  so happy to hear you are busy hanging out with your baby.


also, thank you for all of the thoughtful replies regarding wool covers and diapers in general.  i have only been able to skim everyone's recommendations and preferences so far, because the friend who had been living with us is in the process of moving out, but i'm looking forward to re-reading everything this week.

post #37 of 194
Jumping in to say congratulations, Sphinxy!!!! Can't wait to see pictures! Yay!!

And Granite, I so love and hear you on your body love! It's sad that it can be a life long process for us to love and appreciate our bodies exactly as they are, without judgment. Congratulations on reaching the basketball stage!
post #38 of 194
Thanks, planet!

Oh my, I've got the next EDD... Holy sh*t. I know it's been said so many times before, but WOW it seems like just yesterday I was tracking my BBT over in the QC thread!!!

We had our midwives over for a home tour & birth planning meeting this past Friday, which suddenly made everything crazily real. DP went out on Saturday & picked up all the remaining supplies we needed,  while I sorted out the things we already had laying around. Now we've got a big bin full of stuff ready & waiting! 

Baby's nicely positioned, head down & facing my right side, but still quite high up & I've yet to experience any braxton hicks (I think)... So I'm not expecting anything to happen any time too soon.

Meanwhile, I've gotten some kind of cold & sore throat thing... Which really shouldn't be allowed at this point in pregnancy! Ugh, so much lost sleep...

Hey soto, how's hypnobirthing?

Liz, B&C, gamitzer, amt, are any of you planning on taking a prenatal class of some sort?

It's been a while since we heard from poiyt & baby.fatty... If you're reading along, hello & I hope all is well with you & your families.
post #39 of 194
Thread Starter 

Sphinxy - congratulations!!!! I hope you are feeling OK. x


Granite - yep we were going to do both the free ones at the hospital and the private ones but the private NCT ones were booked out before my 12 weeks & hadn't wanted to get too optimistic so missed out. Oh well it doesn't matter too much as still have the freebies which are supposed to be OK. Also going to be doing yoga pretty soon.


Had the nuchal test today. It takes 2 weeks forthe bloods to come back but that actual thickness of the nuchal behind the neck looked fine which is a relief as I'm at high risk becaues of my age. The baby was being pretty active, not surprising with me as its mum and we've decided to find out the sex at the 20 weeks scan which is pretty exciting. They've moved my EDD up 3 days because of the size so it'll be interesting to see when it arrives.

post #40 of 194

Hi everyone! I'm back...I hope? I really do want to keep up with this thread and get to know and support you all. But this first trimester has been a lot, both work-wise and emotionally, so I don't feel ready to make any grand promises. But I'll try!


I'm not going to totally catch up, but I wanted to congratulate Sphinxy on the baby. Hooray for you and your bigger-by-a-whole-human family!


And congratulations to Granite, too, for moving into the next-up spot. So close now! How exciting to be all ready for a home birth. FWIW, I never had a single braxton-hicks, as far as I could tell, up to and including when my water broke to start my actual labor. In fact, after my water broke, I felt nothing at all, and went to sleep for a few more hours before waking up and starting labor in earnest. All this to say, there's no knowing! I hope you get some rest and get healthy before the baby decides to arrive.


Also, yay for a good-looking nuchal scan, Lizbian, I know it doesn't mean everything, but it can be a relief to be average sometimes. :)


AFM: I also had my nuchal scan U/S yesterday, and it also looked good so far. Not only did the actual nuchal translucency look average, but there were no obvious neural tube defects, which was a big relief after my experience with that in my first pregnancy. I was very emotional after the ultrasound, both because the fetus looked so much like a person already (despite my firm political belief that it's not), in contrast to the mostly-abstract way I'd been thinking about it. Even weirder, it already looks in profile like our DD, who has a kind of distinctive forehead and nose shape. Is that even possible? The fetus looked so familiar!  Besides those things, I also realized how much fear I'd been holding about this pregnancy after loss. I was so so so relieved to see that skull and brain in there, and it was a big release to let go of the panic I'd been feeling that something might be wrong. Of course, things can still always go wrong, but I feel much, much better.


So that's that. I also have a regular midwife appointment this week, so it'll be nice to go into that more open to the reality that this pregnancy is likely sticking around!

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