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dont want to vax but afraid not to-am i doing the right thing?

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
My dd is 15 weeks old and so far ive been putting off all vax's but her 4 month well visit is in 2 weeks so once again im revisiting the issue. I personally got the flu and tdap while pregnant at my doctors insistance. Its the first and probably only flu shot ive ever rec'd. Myself and hubby both got tdap and our arms HURT for at least 3 days...badly! I cant imagine what it would do to an infant :/

Anyway, i declined hep b at birth because i just feel dd isnt at risk. Maybe when she is older we will do it? Not sure yet. We did do the eye ointment and vit k.

So heres my issue. Originally i was planning on doing selective vax on a delayed sched. Dd will be watched by my mom when i return to work on monday (ugh, only days away). She was a major crier for the first 2 months or so and is still very high needs so i told her pediatrician i wanted to wait until her crying etc settled. Now i dont know if i want to do certain vax at all, but im doubting myself. I work in a public library with children and imexposed to every kind of bug germ illness out there and im afraid of passing something on to dd. Im terrified of pertussis but i think im more afraid of the vax side effects. Dd is very fair (mild albinism in fact) and very sensitive and i just feel that if theres a side effect out there, she will prob have it. Heres the thing tho...if she gets pertussis ill never forgive myself. But if she has say a seizure from the vax, ill also never forgive myself. So how on earth am i supposed to make this decision?

Down the road i do want to do the polio vax. My grandfather had polio...not pretty. Im definitely not doing the vax for that diarrhea illness...cant remember the name right now. But then theres 2 other vax recommended to protect against meningitis. Geez i wish i had the paper in front of me lol...got a sleeping baby in my arms.

Well i think this post is a rambling mess and im not even sure what im looking for :/ its so much easier to make these decisions for myself because i can live with the outcome. With dd i feel like im damned if i do, damned if i dont.

I ebf so far and i think if i were able to stay home with dd id feelmore confident in not vaxing but since im working with the public im just so afraid of passing something along to her :/

post #2 of 16

Welcome and congrats!!


I would not vax until I felt sure.  You can always vax later, you cannot undo it.


I would click into research mode - and I would probably start with ones that are indicated for a newborn first.  Off the top of my head, that is DTaP, rota and Hib.  I can give you my opinion on it, but really, I am just an anon. on the internet.  You must check things out.  I would start with:


-the CDC pink book



-vaccine inserts (not the VIS)  



-Dr. Sears Vaccine book (he is pretty middle of the road in my opinion).


I would try to make sure any research I looked at on pertussis and the flu was current.  Pertussis info has changed quite a bit in the last 5 years.  




As an aside, I also work in a library.  I work in a small, rural library.  I love it.  I have a small bottle of natural hand-sanitizer (Burt's bees)  next to my desk and use it freely.  I also wash my hands a lot. I try to make myself an unattractive host for germs - eat well, sleep well, avoid stress….that sort of thing. I know that is not always easy to do!  I actually find that I am less likely to catch something than my husband - who does not work with the public, but does work in a 25 person office.  The average patron only visits the library for about 15 minutes - and while some may be sick occasionally (they are not typically horribly sick - libraries are voluntary excursions) they don't hang around long.  My husband works with people who go to work sick and they are in the same office as him to 8 hours a day.  Ugh!  

Edited by kathymuggle - 10/3/13 at 12:14pm
post #3 of 16
You say you're afraid of passing things on from the library to your daughter. But you're not likely to pass stuff on unless you yourself contract the disease. So if you're immune yourself to pertussis (and it's likely you are, having gotten DTaP just recently) you won't give it to her. Wash your hands as you leave work. That's not to say she wouldn't get it somehow else, but she can't get pertussis from you unless you also have pertussis. Get it?


Polio is indeed terrible (sorry to hear about your grandfather; my mother had it) and I think it's good you want to immunize her for it. The polio vaccine we get here in Canada is all combined with DTaP. Do you guys have that there?


The diarrhea illness you refer to is rotavirus.


You seem to be very nervous about her getting sick, both from diseases or from a reaction to the vaccine. The chances of either of those things happening are very low indeed. She seems to have some colic; do you think you'll feel better as she matures and calms down a bit? How's breastfeeding going?

post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thank you for the replies. We've definitely been dealing with colic or SOMEthing which plays a role in my reluctance. She seems to be one of those high needs little dudettes that i had never heard about until she came along lol.

I guess deep down i know that the odds of something happening are slim but ive always found my life to be a shining example of murphys law, so am i being a little paranoid? Absolutely! Ive been researching vaccines for about a year on and off and just cant seem to make a decision. I worry about the regular side effects, esp with dtap, like seizures and limbs swelling up, but i also worry about those unknowns: autism, allergies, etc. Im not into conspiracy theories. I dont think the government is hiding anything, but i think more along the lines of they just dont know why these things are on the rise, and until they can PROVE one way or another, is it a risk i should take? My other concern is that what if 6 months from now they decide dtap ISNT safe and they reformulate, like they already did with dtp, kwim? So i find myself stuck in this back and forth battle, ugh.

Im glad to hear that pertussis cant be passed on if i dont contract it. Thats certainly one less thing to worry about. Breastfeeding is going well...its alot more work than i think i was prepared for, but definitely worth it! Ive had mastitis once, and dealt with oversupply and overactive let-down, but we seem tobein a goid place now. The hardest thing for me is the frequency of feedings. Ive only ever known ff babies who have their bottle and can be good for several hours. Dd eats about every 2 hours during the day so by the time we eat, change, nap, play a little, the cycle begins all over again lol. Monday will bring new challenges as we start really enforcing pumping and bottles as i return to work.

On a side note, my library is definitely a cess pool for germs. I dont really have quick patron encounters. As the childrens librarian, ihave children/families who linger for hours. Ive been coughed on, sneezed on, licked (yes, licked!), the boogery hugs, you name it lol. I used to NEVER get sick, but since working there i feel like im always ill with something. Ive actually felt quite healthy despite sleep deprivation at home these past 4 months. We'll see how long it takes me to come down with something!

Well thanks for listening. Ill be continuing my back and forth battle with myself ;/
post #5 of 16

I cannot urge you too strongly to NOT vaccinate your precious little baby!  Your healthy woman's intuition is telling you it is NOT right and NOT safe.  Vaccinations ARE a deadly assault on your defenseless and HEALTHY baby!  Do not allow yourself to be bullied by your doctor!!  He had NO right to impose his self-serving opinion on you!  He can vaccinate his own kids, if he so chooses; but he should shut the heck up to you about your own HEALTHY baby.  That is YOUR decision to make, not his! 


The best thing you can do, in order to get out from under this should-I-or-shouldn't-I cloud you are under, is to do a research online for 2 major things: "Rank of Countries for Autism Rates"; and also "Compare Vaccination Schedule of the USA to the Schedules of Other Countries".  You'll be astonished at what you discover.  If you go to sites that are run by medical companies or the pharmaceutical industry, you will NOT get the truth: they make money from selling vaccinations.  You MUST seek information from people who will speak the truth, so you can make the correct decision for your HEALTHY baby.  She will be healthy if you refuse their desire to shoot her up with dozens of deadly chemicals.  The shots they've already given her are not good, but don't worry about that now.  Just keep her safe from now on, by refusing all additional vaccinations.  If I were you, I'd quietly find a new doctor who does not believe in shooting the children with vaccinations/drugs.  I say "quietly" because there's no use getting into an argument and/or embarrassing or angering him.  Two doctors who will give you truthful information online are: Dr. Joseph Mercola; and Dr. Sherri Tenpenny.  They both have wonderful sites where you can learn a ton of valuable information for both your baby, and for you and your husband.  Dr. Sherri has a book called "Saying No to Vaccines".  She teaches you how to stand your ground, and refuse the shots.  Even if you disagree with me here, at the very least I urge you to research for yourself -- the information is 'out there'.  (Also, you and hubby need to take care of yourselves: do NOT take the flu shots.  They, too, are very dangerous.)


Be sure and think for yourselves, instead of blindly trusting people who are not looking to the best interests of your precious baby.  Remember: the shots don't contain only the multiple disease viruses; they also contain a deadly soup of preservatives, and other highly-toxic chemicals!  No where in the natural world do many diseases happen to a person at one time.  So why on Earth do the medical people think it's just fine to assault tiny babies, toddlers, children, 'teens, and adults, with multiple vaccinations for multiple diseases at one time??!!!  It's a deadly assault on each of us, because our bodies can't defend such deadly attacks.  It's total insanity!  (By the way, you have a HUGE battle won already, by having your mom baby-sit, instead of subjecting your baby to the incessant Day Care diseases that circulate there on a 24/7/365 basis.  Your mom is worth her weight in GOLD!!!)


I wish you well!!  And more importantly, I'll pray for your safety and strength to fight this outrage.  God Bless You!!!  <3<3<3

post #6 of 16
post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 
@taximom5 thank u so much for posting! Dds appt is this friday and im 99% sure that i WONT be vaccinating at this time.
post #8 of 16
I learned the hard way: you can treat a disease. You can also take steps to minimize complications. You can also change your mind down the road and choose to vaccinate.

But you cannot undo a vaccine, and it's extremely difficult--sometime impossible--to treat neurological and autoimmune damage caused by a vaccine.
post #9 of 16
You also should make sure you are not bullied by anti vaxers - just saying.
post #10 of 16
Thread Starter 
@moving toward , you are absolutely right. Both "sides" of the vaccine debate get so heated and some people do take that bullying approach. My current strategy i guess is one well visit at a time while i continue to research. Dd 6 month check is in dec so we will see how things are going then. She has off and on eczema and im 95% sure tomato allergy/sensitivity (which sucks cuz i LOVE tomato lol). My main concern right now is that i feel she is so sensitive, im afraid of severe adverse reactions. I do want to talk more to her ped about this since we havent really had a full discussion, just "here are the risks if u dont vax, sign this form." This momy stuff is hard! :::sigh:::
post #11 of 16
Squiggles - sounds like you're doing all the right things. Discuss this all with your doctor and try to understand the real (very small) risks of side effects rather than be scared by the antivax viewpoint online. smile.gif

But be aware that waiting isn't putting off the decision, it is a choice to delay vaccination, and will increase the (very small) risk of your child catching a VPD.
post #12 of 16
Originally Posted by MichelleZB View Post
You say you're afraid of passing things on from the library to your daughter. But you're not likely to pass stuff on unless you yourself contract the disease. So if you're immune yourself to pertussis (and it's likely you are, having gotten DTaP just recently) you won't give it to her. Wash your hands as you leave work. That's not to say she wouldn't get it somehow else, but she can't get pertussis from you unless you also have pertussis. Get it?

Not true. The pertussis vax is one that upsets me the most because the CDC heavily markets it to new parents (and expecting parents) giving them a false sense of security. The parents believe that they're "immune" and when they DO get pertussis (after being vaxed) they think "Well, at least I know this cough isn't pertussis!" and then the new baby develops a cough and they don't suspect pertussis and then the baby takes a turn for the worse because her airway is so small and it just ends up being a mess.


At best, the vax lasts 5 years but there are many, many, many cases of pertussis in people who were very recently vaccinated.


Originally Posted by squiggles View Post

Im glad to hear that pertussis cant be passed on if i dont contract it. Thats certainly one less thing to worry about.

True, but in vaccinated people who DO acquire pertussis, their symptoms are often more mild leading them to believe it's not pertussis...


Originally Posted by Taximom5 View Post

Actually, the DTaP vaccine does NOT prevent transmission of pertussis.



post #13 of 16

OP, this is a difficult decision.  I encourage you to do some research on your own and not be swayed by the opinions of anyone else.  When reading articles about vaccines, look at the resources at the bottom and trace the evidence back to the source.  Two of the most helpful sources for me were Google Scholar and VAERS.  In Google Scholar, I would search each individual vaccine.  There are many studies from around the world about safety and efficacy.  Then you can weigh the risks and benefits of each vaccine.  You may find that some vaccines are better at certain ages.  Vaers has a searchable database where you can put in specific information and find adverse reactions in your particular state. I felt the same guilt battle as you and really went back and forth.  Now I feel very confident in my decision. 

post #14 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thank you for the link to the vaers site, I haven't actually checked it out yet but will! My dd is 7 months old now and still unvaxxed while icontinue my battle to decide. She is still breastfed with tastes of food almost daily, and still in my mom and husbands care when im at work, so I feel fairly confident that she wont pick up anything too horrible yet.

one of the things I find hardest to deal with is the negativity that parents have toward one another with regard to the decision to vax or not. It really is a shame and saddens me that so many people act unkindly toward one another when we all have the same goal of doing what is best for our children....
post #15 of 16

Why would you never forgive yourself if she got pertussis? It's a natural illness for children to get, and your daughter is past the age where it is dangerous. Be prepared and have sodium ascorbate at home, that you can give her at the first sign of cold symptoms, because pertussis starts with cold symptoms. Pertussis is a common illness, that both vaccinated and unvaccinated people get. The current vaccine is no longer effective.


I do, however, understand why you would never be able to forgive yourself if she developed seizures from vaccines that you know in your heart are not safe for her. 


I'm sorry your grandfather had polio, but that has nothing to do with today's reality, and your daughter's risk of getting it. Nobody in the U.S. has gotten it since 1979, so I very much doubt your daughter would be the first one. If there's an outbreak, you'll read or hear about it on the news, and you could give her the vaccine then.

post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
When I originally wrote the post she was only 15 weeks old. Now she is 7 months, healthy and happy smile.gif I no longer fear pertussis. I do still worry about some of the other things tho, like meningitis. The hep b I think is ridiculous for a newborn unless there are serious risk factors. Im just taking things as they come now. I think my curent plan, which may change, is to delay all vaxs u til about 2 years or so when she can articulate to me if something hurts. Then ill have to look at things one vax at a time and see how I feel at that point. Im just not comfortable with vaxing right now and I dont think she is at high risk for anything, so I feel ok about the decision 2 wait.
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