or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › The Childhood Years › Kindergarten Bully...is it possible?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Kindergarten Bully...is it possible? - Page 2

post #21 of 29

:( I'm so sorry that your son is going through this.  I agree with many of the posts on here, to talk to the teacher.  If my son was the aggressor, I would want to know as a parent so we could talk and practice appropriate behavior with others.  We have stressed with our son that if he sees this type of behavior to be the one who steps in and stops it - we've practiced phrases to say to the aggressor to make them stop what they are doing to the other child.  Since my son is big into superheros, we talk about how a superhero would handle this situation if someone needs help.  Perhaps this could be something the teacher highlights in class as well - not singling out your child or the bullies, but as a class practicing how to stick up for someone or intervene in a bully situation, or what to do if you are being picked on?

 

Keep us posted on what happens - best of luck to you and your son and I hope this stops soon.

post #22 of 29

DS#1 was being picked on by one kid in Kindergarten (he's 7 now).  I made the mistake of not saying anything to that kindergarten teacher(nice enough person, but she seemed almost scared of parents and I worried about discussing issues with her would be met negatively), hoping it would blow over or that they would be in different classes the next year.  It didn't help that the teacher was on leave for a while to take care of an ailing parent(of course, no fault of her own) and there was different substitutes during that time.  Well, they ended up in the same class the next year and it got so much worse to the point that DS#1 would cry and not want to go to school.  His wonderful grade 1 teacher approched me and I discussed what was going on.  She had no idea this was happening at recess and in class and worked with the both of them.  Now they are the best of friends. 

 

So absolutely speak with the teacher, s/he may not be aware this is going on.  I've been working on different coping strategies with him as well(tell others to leave him alone with a stronger voice, tae kwon do for confidence, learning to ignore others).  Unfortunately, DS#1 is super senstitive and takes things way too personally, so it makes him an easy target.   :(

post #23 of 29
My son has been bullied in his K class also so I know how you feel. In our case the boy got physical with my son and I had to tell him it was ok to defend himself. Apparently this kid is getting in trouble in class for a variety of reasons and is missing a lot of recess also because of the meanness. I'm hoping we're ok now but I'm watching it. I agree let the teacher know and see what you can do about making him friends. My dd is one of those miss fix it under dog defender types and takes it upon herself to befriend anyone being left out around her like the lonely one black boy that got stuck in an all white country school she attended once or the girl at her school now no one liked. Maybe the teacher can helpyou find kids in his class like this or someone he might have something in common with. Having a friend will go a log way in helping defend him from bullies. Good luck.
post #24 of 29
replying to your billing issue. That behavior should never be tolerated, no exceptions. The same thing happened to my son. He had a terrible speech problem that kept him from talking in school. He was also a very quiet sweet boy. I scheduled a conference with his teacher ASAP. Those issue need to be brought to her attention because like you said there are many student and she can't possibly be expected to see or hear everything. Write all your concerned on a piece of paper so you don't forget anything. Be patient, pleasant no matter how upset you get. Just let her know that you just want everyone to be on the same page. You all want for him to have a wonderful experience that will benefit his growth. Good luck hope that's helpful.
Coraly
post #25 of 29

This might not be a popular opinion but why would you tell your son to ignore them? I'd tell him to speak back. There is a lot of good advice here about working with the teacher about it and perhaps the other parents but I also feel it's important to help him find his voice when faced with bullies and not just ignore them. And while now you can talk to the teachers/parents, very soon I think those will not be very cooperative and he's on his own. 

post #26 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyKay View Post
 

This might not be a popular opinion but why would you tell your son to ignore them? I'd tell him to speak back. There is a lot of good advice here about working with the teacher about it and perhaps the other parents but I also feel it's important to help him find his voice when faced with bullies and not just ignore them. And while now you can talk to the teachers/parents, very soon I think those will not be very cooperative and he's on his own. 

 

agree… here’s support for that opinion:

 

Don’t ‘just ignore them.’ … Sure, there are times when doing nothing makes sense – for example, if the bully is older or you're in an unsupervised area – but overall, with repeated bullying, ignoring isn't an effective strategy. Bullying is about power, specifically the imbalance of power. If someone can silence you, that's pretty powerful.”

 

from this article: Bullying: The advice you got was wrong.

post #27 of 29
That is a helpful article loripickert, thanks.
post #28 of 29

you’re very welcome! :)

post #29 of 29
I would do something if you can handle it and if your spouse says so too.

We home-educate and I encourage my children to interact with adults to get more confidence rather than "give in" to the rotten things other kids or people may say. Kids say mean things because they do not know how to act properly and need parental guidance and direct instruction on proper behavior. It isn't easy to teach children how not to bully as it may even be found among home-education kids too!

There are public charter schools, Montessori schools, online-public schools too........These may be better social options. The more the child interacts positively with parents first and then with other adults the better. Then it is easier to deal with the bully.

Boys from my understanding are actually better off in the outdoors and roaming around freely than sitting in a school desk all day. It helps them gain confidence with interaction and working with mother nature.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Childhood Years
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › The Childhood Years › Kindergarten Bully...is it possible?