How nice to read up more on how common this is! My second out of four, a boy, has really tested my sanity for at least the past half year! Last spring we had ''social'' help coming once a week for 2-3 hours because I was so exhausted from different things. I remember them (there were 2 ladies) telling me that I'm going to have lots of trouble with my oldest. They were having trouble with her. I told them that funny, cuz I have no problems with her, but with my (about) 3.5 year old son! It got to the point that I was telling DH this is not normal. He's not normal. There's something wrong with him. There HAS to be something wrong with him. I'm taking him to see a psychologist. He would debate with me about everything. And silly me, in the beginning I debated back.
''You need to sit down when you eat, on your own chair'' and he doesnt listen AT ALL, so I say something to the effect of having to take his food away to which he answers:
''Well, then I'm going to hit you!''
''Then I'll have to take you on time out''(We have a bit different way of doing time out than what others do)
''Well, then I'll dump out all the toys from the toybox!''
And thats as far as I want to remember those kinds of situations:)
It was about anything. And sometimes he didnt make any sense in what he was saying. It went competely off topic and made you stop and think for a minute. What?!?!?!
The kids were outside playing for quite a while. DD1 (5) DS1 (3.5), and DS2 (2) all came inside and the oldest and youngest settled down with something calm to do. DS1 came ''running wildly'' inside and slapping whatever in his reach, pushing his siblings around, kicking their toys away from them or tearing the books out of their hands. Just really messing things up.
I guess I dont need to go through any detail of his behaviour, but we had our fourth in the summer when he was 3 and 9 months. He was a very difficult child to get to obey, to even just listen to what I was saying. I had a hard time trying to understand his needs. Why he behaved like he did. October 2nd was his fourth birthday. He got SO much attention and big boy toys from the few friends that came to visit. We got sick not long after that (probably from eating all the sweets and leftover sweets from his b-day!) and he actually got an ear infection. Which went over on its own. But the few days he was sick he was a complete angel. Even DH mentioned.....He hasnt done anything! We havent had to say anything to him! And now when he's doing better he has been a bit easier, tho I cant say I've seen any dramatic changes. I think it will be a gradual change, but I'm so thankful this stage is starting to be behind us! I used all my energy on him and got a bit depressed. Like what am I doing wrong sort of thing. My sister told me on the phone then when I recently talked with her that she remembers I told her the same stuff (having a difficult time with a child) when our first was the same age:)
So yeah. It belongs to the age. And though I hate it being said to me, this too shall pass:) Our now 2 year old and 5 year old have started having tantrum like ''blow-ups'' that has caught me kind of by surprise. Just starting to unwind after such a wild (but NORMAL) time with DS1 only to be encountered with the others acting up:) This might be a baby thing tho..... I think they're all feeling somewhat neglected by mommy. There is SO much work to do with 4 little ones.
I personally feel a babysitter is a great idea. It gives you a chance to wind down and collect your cool and strength again. It certaintly helped me!