Britt, i feel much the same way. I feel guilty feeling like that. I know this is OK, or it will be fine. And after our history of recurrent loss, I am lucky to have a successful pregnancy. But I feel so "why now, why me?".
I was fast tracking a path to upper level rugby refereeing. You cannot do that pregnant. So i feel like my entire life hit pause. It is my fault i got pregnant, we weren't very careful. But my body fat/exercise routine/ breastfeeding the last baby, all pretty much keeps me infertile. I have no idea why i dropped an egg around day 14, i never release one before day 18-21. I have no idea how my luteal phase was long enough to sustain a pregnancy, it is typically 7 days. Anyway. I am most definitely pregnant.
I feel like it will be 3 more years until I get back to that sweet spot of being a mom without a tiny baby hanging on me. Controlling my life, my body, my sleep! And then I feel bad for feeling like that. Ha!
Don't feel bad about the weight. You started at a good weight and so you will gain lots. Fun! I am 5'6, 125. I had already put on 18 lbs by my 22 week appt. As for the abs, check out this website. It has some good info on diastasis recti (ab separation). http://fit2b.us/pregnancy-q-a/
. The weight will come off, and you can rehab that pelvic floor and abs. It is going to be OK. Eventually.
The really funny thing about it all, is that every now and then I get this total panic "OMG, only 16 weeks left, how will i get everything ready". I am in a state of denial. No preparations are being made. Every day still pregnant is at least a day without an infant!! And then the other side of me wants it to be over so I can be back to some kind of normal. I am a nutjob.