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October Chat - Page 5

post #81 of 96

I'm kind of, sort of thinking of a hospital bag.  But they've got the tub, the gown and slippers, the birth ball, the food and drinks, the pads, the pp giant undies (LOL)... So I would want music? A rice bag?  And maybe some more substantial snacks for DH (and for me to sneak if I get hungry! Although I puked every single thing up last time so food isn't really a priority for me this time.)


What do the oils do for you guys?  Just a distraction or do they have actual properties to them?  I can kind of see it being nice, but I make negative associations with smell really easily so I don't want to "ruin" lavender for the rest of my life because I was in pain when I smelled it.  Yes, I'm weird.  I have a friend visiting next week who is a doula and I know she likes to use oils so I'll have to pick her brain.


I'm having a rough time sleeping too tspencer.  My mind races at night.  It took forever to fall asleep last night, but then I slept pretty hard once I was out so that was nice for a change.

post #82 of 96

tspencer- I have been sleeping awful too.  Then in the morning I ache and am so darn stiff.  Poor us :)


cwill- I don't think I was ever actually left alone for a second with my hospital births....  there would have been no sneaking anything!  I am actually just getting into oils.  I have the young living lavender that I have been using like crazy- I don't love the scent but it seems to help with just about everything.  I bought it for burns and skin abrasions.  I then tried it on my lover belly to calm contrax- which it did wonderfully.  Then I had a yucky varicose vein pop up and I used it on that- and it went away- so I am using it everyday there though to keep it away.  The myrrh is supposed to help get baby in good birthing position- I tend to carry breech till the end.  the frankensence is supposed to help with labor pains if applied on the belly.  It is also good for applying to baby for immunity.  the peace and calming just sounds lovely to have going in a diffuser during labor.  And lavender just because I have it and am getting to associate good things with the scent?  


The food thing is one of my biggest complaints about hospitals.  I am fairly paleo and I felt absolutely starved and crappy eating their food.  Best thing about home birthing is being actually nourished and then getting to actually sleep afterwards without someone bugging and poking me constantly...  

post #83 of 96

My midwife recommended catnip tea in order to help out with insomnia prevention, as well as Epsom salt baths before bed, (you can take a cal-mag supplement instead, but it gives me stomach issues!) The tea definitely seems to work.


As for essential oils- when I worked in birth I would get 2 oz. glass spray bottles, add a few drops of certain oils to the bottom and then pour to the top with distilled water. This way I could spray the preferred scent in the air when it was wanted/needed, but it would leave the environment very quickly if it were not appreciated, and it never became too overwhelming. I will probably have a small stash of lavender, eucalyptus, and peppermint for my birth.


Anyone else finding themselves chronically dehydrated at your prenatal appointments? I was seriously shocked when they told me I was dehydrated the first time, because I follow the 1/2 ounce of water per every lb. that I weigh recommendation, which is a whole lot of water per day! Apparently some people who make the majority of their food from scratch stay dehydrated, because their sodium intake is too low? So, they think this is the case for me....I don't know what else it could be, but everything I drink is going straight through me. I have been trying to add salt to all of my foods to prevent it, but I am still dehydrated come every appointment.


I am also not gaining enough weight. I started out a size US 16, so I am far from small...I then lost about 25 lbs. from severe morning sickness, and have then put on 7 lbs. since. Last month I only gained 1 lb. from the previous appointment. It seems the baby is measuring on target, but for a health food/nutrition fanatic, I feel like I am failing big time. I am eating well and enough to feel satisfied, and it is hard to imagine eating more....it is pretty frustrating.

post #84 of 96

Neaera- I have the opposite problem with weight gain right now.... Ugh I am gaining faster with this pregnancy. 

post #85 of 96
Originally Posted by iowaorganic View Post
The food thing is one of my biggest complaints about hospitals.  I am fairly paleo and I felt absolutely starved and crappy eating their food.  Best thing about home birthing is being actually nourished and then getting to actually sleep afterwards without someone bugging and poking me constantly...  


Haha, my mouth is watering thinking about the macaroni and cheese I had immediately PP!  Healthy?  No.  But sooooooooo good.  But maybe I did eat a lot of snacks afterward.  I can't remember, but I will pack extra with that in mind.  I do remember talking beforehand about ordering a pizza or DH making a run for food and then not feeling like it while we were there so I think I was pretty satisfied.

Originally Posted by Neaera View Post

My midwife recommended catnip tea in order to help out with insomnia prevention, as well as Epsom salt baths before bed, (you can take a cal-mag supplement instead, but it gives me stomach issues!) The tea definitely seems to work.


How is catnip tea?  I'll have to see if I can find some.  I know I can get Epsom salts!


Originally Posted by tspencer519 View Post

Neaera- I have the opposite problem with weight gain right now.... Ugh I am gaining faster with this pregnancy. 


Uh, yeah.  I've gained close to 30 lbs already.  I'm not too concerned because I should end up at about the same weight as I was for DS and I was maybe 5 lbs underweight to begin with, but even 25 lbs at 29 weeks sounds like a lot! 

post #86 of 96

This is sort of off the current topic but I am 30 weeks and have recently started having this really irrational fear of dying in childbirth.  I had a full on meltdown yesterday.  I don't know where it is coming from--I feel like I am going crazy or something.  This is my second pregnancy.  My first was a hospital birth that went mostly as planned but my natural birth ended with a vacuum extraction and a hemorrhage.  I still felt very empowered that I did it without pain meds and overall it was a positive experience.  I just keep thinking about how I can't leave my 3 yo little girl and soon to be newborn without a mommy.  I never felt like this with my first pregnancy.  Is it because I now have a child to leave behind?  I want to go into labor empowered and confident not consumed with fear.  Any suggestions?


Thanks for listening.

post #87 of 96

Kellyshea82, that is really tough. I am sorry you experiencing so much fear with this pregnancy. Do you have any methods of calming anxiety that have worked for you in the past? I am a big fan of hypnosis, but my father is a hypnotherapist, so it comes very easily for me. Other recommendations I have is to try meditation, positive visualization, or therapy. Also, if you think it would help, read positive gentle birth stories, as many as you can find, and ask your friends and family to share them with you as well. Try to imagine your ideal birthing situation, and holding your baby. 


Occasionally when I start finding my brain going to unlikely scenarios, I try to do some research and find out what the statistics of that fear are, and they are typically incredibly low, (for example, my fear of being eaten by a shark while in the ocean,) and the low statistic comforts me. Other times, I resign to the fact that I really do not have much control over when bad things happen to me or my family, and consuming myself with worry will not help anything or anyone. 


I hope you find something that works for you! It can be scary to imagine not being there for our already born babies! Love to you!

post #88 of 96

Cwill- Bad thing is I didn't start out underweight! hahaha 


Kellyshea82- I know how you are feeling. Only I had those feelings more with my first child than with this one. When I was getting close with my DD I thought for sure I would die in child birth because all I ever wanted was to be a Mom and I was silly and thought because I wanted it so badly that I would probably die during the birth and never experience motherhood. I think this is a pretty common fear, but with modern technology we have such a slight chance of this happening. I haven't really had that fear much with this pregnancy which is funny because my first was a planned hospital birth and this one is a planned home birth! I think I agree with Neaera, because I have been watching a bunch of gentle home water births this time around and feel more confident! Plus, I really like and trust my midwife. I know she knows what she is doing and she doesn't take any chances. She has delivered two of my nieces too! :innocent But don't be hard on yourself for these feelings! I really do think they are pretty normal and it just shows how much you love your little one and always want to be there for her. I have the fear of dying and leaving my LOs behind all the time, not just in labor but just in the everyday. Just think... you did this once before and you are still here! You CAN do this! Love and prayers being sent out for you! :Hug

post #89 of 96

Kellyshea82 - I had that so bad with my third and in fact it still creeps up on me when I leave the coast ( we live a ferry ride away from the mainland) and leave the kids at home. I have also noticed this pregnancy that I have a hard time overcoming fears of my kids deaths too. I blame it on the miscarriages I had last year but it is hard to talk my heard through it just the same. I have no solutions, I just do a lot of self talk. And I also know that this last year and a half has been a big reminder and learning process for me to practice detachment from the thing I have little or no control over. Not always a comforting thought but something I have had to work on for sure! I hope you can find some peace before you give birth!


as for me - I was hospitalized for a stuck gallstone about a week and a half before I got pregnant and subsequently ended up on a no/low fat diet. Therefore since I became pregnant I have lost 40 lbs and am just holding it seems for the last month or so. I expect a gain anytime now. My 7 year old looked at me the other day and said 'I wonder how big you would be right now if you hadn't developed you gallbladder issue' LOL. I am hoping the baby is willing to take just a wee bit more of my fat reserves before it arrives and I am interested to see how much it will affect its birth weight as all my others were within oz of each other.

Despite the weight loss I have hit the point of uncomfortable and really worry what the next 12 weeks (or so) will bring! I am having a hard time sleeping and commiserate with you all! if its not my 5 year old, the dog, the freaking bears!!! then its my own mind rambling on, the baby turning somersaults or leg craps. I guess its practice for when the babe arrives ;)


Speaking of the bears one was just here raiding our egg fridge outside. DH and the dog have gone to sleep in our rental (that is vacant at the moment and closer to the chickens) to keep an ear out for the chickens. Our layers (48)  are in the greenhouse with nothing but plastic to protect them and our 75 babies are in the barn which should be pretty safe but who knows with a hungry bear (or 3 ) around. We had 2 treed last night (at 4:30!) after their raided the outside fridge. there isn't anything in it anymore!! and yet they are still looking. I am going to go and try and sleep in case its another long night!

post #90 of 96

Thank you all for your encouraging words!! I feel so supported.  I talked with my Doula for a while last night and that seemed to really help.  I've also heard that the book Birthing from Within has a chapter on fear associated with birth that can offer me some help.  I am trying to do my best to process through this before this baby's birthday!  

post #91 of 96

cwill- Catnip tea is not delicious, but not atrocious either. I am sure honey would make it a little tastier, but I have been fine drinking it without any sweeteners.

post #92 of 96
Originally Posted by tspencer519 View Post
 I have the fear of dying and leaving my LOs behind all the time, not just in labor but just in the everyday.


Oh my gosh, yes.  I spend a decent amount of time alone in my car in the middle of the night on dark roads... I can come up with so many horror scenarios, it's absurd.


But I don't mean to dismiss your feelings, Kellyshea, because I think there is so much emotion tied up in birth.  Are you doing Hypnobabies at all?  There are a few things in particular that might be helpful.  It has a visualization exercise at the very beginning where you imagine your safe place with you and your baby and whomever else you choose to include.  It has 2 affirmation tracks where you listen to positive statements regarding your pregnancy and childbirth.  It also has a fear-clearing exercise.  If you don't want to spend the money on the whole course (first of all, pm me - I have all the tracks though I no longer have the workbook), but I'm sure you could do something similar on your own. 

post #93 of 96
What did everyone do for Halloween? We just went to a friend's house for a while. DS and DH got dressed up. I did not because I'm in a rotten mood. All I needed to do was pull out my pregnant skeleton costume from 2 years ago. But since all I wanted to do was stay home and sulk, I thought I did pretty well.

DS is a piece of work right now. I think flames might start shooting out of his ears. He's so into everything - numbers, letters, colors, drawing shapes, helping with chores, using more impossible-to-understand words. But he's also totally crazy. Melt downs about everything. So clingy. So determined. So often frustrated. So much throwing and hitting and destroying. Hopefully his brain can settle down again soon and give me a break.

Also after a good couple weeks with the dog I'm ready to murder him again. Anybody want a handsome, energetic, needy, super smart, no impulse control Brittany?
post #94 of 96
I didn't have a pregnant skeleton costume but I did have a shirt with a baby skeleton on my bump! I'm a teacher so that was my "costume", the students liked it!! It was the first year we were in our new house so we stayed home and handed out candy to trick or treaters, which was very exciting for me smile.gif
post #95 of 96

Cwill- You crack me up! We didn't do anything on Halloween but we did trick or treating last weekend. I am kind of regretting that though, the last thing I need it to be tempted by that bag of candy... :Sheepish  Maybe your DS knows of the change coming and is acting accordingly?!? I say this because this is exactly how my DD is acting right now plus some! She is normally a sweet girl but lately...throwing fits, throwing stuff everywhere, talking back, bossing around every other child that happens to walk by and starting to hit!! I don't know where this is coming from and I feel so out of control right now. I'm trying my best, but it sure is trying. Sorry you are having trouble too! And sorry about you dog! 

post #96 of 96

We didn't do too much for Halloween this year. It was pouring most of the day in our city, and we didn't even get one trick or treater! Of course, I did wake up at 5 a.m. to help my daughter with her costume. We usually get really into Halloween, so this was the first year I didn't go all out with my own costume. My daughter goes to an arts high school that has a full day of academics, and then three hours in the arts, and since it is on the other side of the city from our house, she doesn't even get home until close to 7 p.m. every night. By the time she was done commuting in the rain, she refused to go back out, and I couldn't blame her. 


Here is a photo of her in costume, from an impromptu photo shoot at school:




As for dogs- I have two dogs in the thirty lb range. I am finding that my female dog, an Australian Cattle Dog, is getting increasingly protective of me with this pregnancy. My husband is the one who feeds her and takes her out most of the time, but lately she has not wanted him to come near me if I am asleep and laying down. I think a visit with our trainer is in order. I am afraid that she will be equally or more protective of the baby once he comes, and not want us to come near him while he sleeps! Her breed is also a herder, so we have some work ahead of us once this baby is mobile! My other dog has been doing well, but he is a "teenager" right now, and can be a little hyper. We will definitely have our hands full!


Okay, now I will leave the October thread! Can't believe it is November already!

Mothering › Groups ›  January 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › October Chat