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BF 3yo issues

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

I have never been very good at limiting my 3yo's nursing. Even night time - I had no supportive partner so I never even tried. I would be so tired I'd just give in and I was worried about being inconsistent. She nursed through my second pregnancy minus the 2 days I was in the hospital. Now DS is almost 9month and it's getting... aggravating.


She wakes up 1-3x a night wanting to nurse (water, food, nothing else... just wants that comfort). Their dad is back in the picture and insisting that she needs to wean... but offering no support. Her latch is HORRIBLE. I can't get her to latch correctly for the life of me - it feels like she is scraping her teeth down my nipple. But all of that said... I don't want to stop nursing her! The night time has GOT to stop simply because coupled with the latch, it's getting to the point where I could just scream.


I guess I'm looking for advice about the latch, about weaning pre schoolers if that's the route I commit to, and/or general support.

post #2 of 4

I'm so sorry you have to got through that. For the latch I would just keep unlatching her and kind of use your hands to show her what her mouth has to do until she finally latches right. My 1 YO does that sometimes and its PAINFUL, kind of makes me want to rip out my hair. LOL Maybe some more experienced Mothering users will have better advice and suggestions. 

post #3 of 4
Thread Starter 

Thank you for responding! I do take her off and ask her to relatch but that almost makes it worse - she gets upset about the off/on and then gets frustrated and less likely to listen. I praise her when she does it right, and that helps a little - but if I can't get her to do it right, it seems like that won't help :/

post #4 of 4

If her dad is "back in the picture" it sounds like he was out of the picture for a while?


You need to talk to him and make it clear that, if he wants to be with you, he needs to trust your ability to be a parent. Nobody should be getting in the middle of your nursing relationship, not even the child's dad. This is a limit you need to set with him, separate from the issues you're having with your 3yo. Don't let any man interfere with how you relate to your child. You'll only regret it later.


I'm not sure how I'd handle the night nursing. I never dealt with "bad latch" that lasted more than a few days, so the night nursing was never a problem. Nor did I ever have kids who would reject a few sips of water before being offered the breast at night. I found that offering a cup of water at night cut night nursing in half (but never more than that.) We'd both take sips of water at night before I'd offer the breast. Also, it was more comfortable to nurse when 1) I wasn't dehydrated and 2) the child was less thirsty and sucking less intensely. Would she accept a cup of water if she knew the breast was coming right after?

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