You need to decide what will work best for you. If you really want to feed your baby at the breast, you still can. Has this baby been on bottles for the last five months? If so it will be a challenge, but it probably can be done, IF you want to do it.
The actions of that first LC were intolerable! I'm a Lactation Consultant and in more than 20 years in practice I have never yelled at a client. Many clients make choices that are choices I might not make, but I'm not there as their "lifestyle consultant," I'm just there just to help them with breastfeeding as far as they want to go. I don't pin MY personal worth on what clients decide to do, nor do I take their choices personally. Where did she even GET the bottle? I have never carried a single bottle in my LC Bag ever. No good LC carries bottles in her bag. There are much better ways to get supplement into a baby who needs food now! Starting with feeding cups, spoons, syringes etc. I have all these in my bag, but I have never carried a bottle in my bag, I don't even have them in my house. I wouldn't actually trust an IBCLC who carries bottles in her gear bag. She may not trust her own ability to get babies on the breast or.... something isn't right here.
Why would an LC "get mad" because you had a home birth? That isn't even her territory, nor was it her choice. You do have the choice, if you want, to contact the IBLCE (International Board of Lactation Consultant Examiners www.iblce.org ) and report her for unprofessional treatment. (I am assuming she is IBCLE Board Certified? If not, then she isn't a Lactation Consultant. Sadly, for a few dollars less than a real LC visit, people with inferior qualifications, education and experience but some will tout themselves as "lactation specialists" and they usually do an abysmal job because they are not trained to actually see and treat clients. .) If your midwife or your partner was present when this LC yelled at you, shoved a bottle down your baby's throat and did it because she had some personal issue about how you gave birth, they can act as witness, she was acting very unprofessionally and NEEDS to be reported. No good International Board Certified Lactation Consultant who is in good standing with the IBLCE behaves like this. She can make us all look bad, not to mention hurting mothers and babies! You can also go to the IBCLE site and make sure she is Board Certified, if not, still report her to the IBCLC as a fraud. Even if she is Board Certified, yelling at clients is never acceptable and is against our Code of Ethics.
Also, your midwives behavior is a bit suspect. WHY would they not allow you to use the SNS right after the birth? This is done all the time.
Can I give you a tip at choosing health care providers? You said, "We found an LC who will take our insurance." Problem is, when you choose your HCPs exclusively on "affordability" or "who takes our insurance directly" you often end up with a much smaller pool of people to choose from (as you found out the first time with a horrible experience most likely with an LC (or someone who wasn't) who was seeing clients as a lower price than a Board Certified LC would. . I'd talk to people and get a GREAT lactation consultant whether or not she takes your insurance. Most LCs do NOT take any type of insurance, because of the overhead and because most insurance companies won't take us individually and don't want to mess with thousands of small businesses, as most LCs work for. Hospital based LCs tend to work quickly but may leave a lot of work undone, because of their time restrictions. They may take insurance, but in many cases, you are getting a 15 min "consultation" when a Private Practice LC will spend at least a few hours with you, then give you a copy of the Super Bill and YOU submit it to the insurance. As most insurance companies will reimburse for LC visits, you now have a better choice of providers.
As your situation is unusual, you NEED an LC who has worked with women post mastectomy before and someone who will spend as long as it takes to get the baby on with the SNS and do several follow up visits and regular weigh ins. When I put a baby on an SNS due to serious milk supply issues, I weigh them every day or every other day. No good LC would use an SNS on a mom with severe breast injury and not do very frequent weigh ins. You need the BEST, not the cheapest!
It sounds like you've had problems with both your midwives and your LC, none of them listening to you and helping you the way you wanted. Better choice, and often that may require seeing the BEST HCPs and your then submitting the bills later to your insurance is going to give you a much better pool of HCPs to choose from so you get the BEST, not just the most convenient.
I've worked with women who have had partial and full unilateral mastectomies and lumpectomies. One of my best friends could only nurse on one side because the radiation done during her cancer treatment destroyed the molecular structure of the ducts in her right breast which had also been subjected to a lumpectomy. She fed her baby exclusively on the left and he did well and didn't even need supplementation. However, you said you had a bilateral mastectomy? That is the removal of both breasts. What amount of tissue is left?
I can't address your issue online, as I don't know how much breast tissue you have left. I'm assuming with a bilateral mastectomy, that ALL of your breast tissue was removed and you had some sort of reconstruction? If that is the case then nearly all of the milk the baby would get would be via SNS, but it can be done. I've seen it done, I've helped women nurse on reconstructed breasts, it's a challenge, but some women really to want to nurture at the breast. It's hard work at first, but these moms swear by it and say it was worth every hour of hard work. Breastfeeding is a LOT more than just milk, and if you want that for you and your child, find a good Board Certified Lactation Consultant who will do best by you, do frequent weigh ins and who you can trust. Even if you have little to no original breast tissue left, you can nurture with the breast with a good SNS or Lact Aid device.
Good luck and Blessings.