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Piercing baby ears - okay or not?

post #1 of 120
Thread Starter 
I didn't pierce my kids' ears as babies. I felt like it should be something they ask for. OTOH piercing a child's ears when they're old enough to fiddle with them causes problems, or at least did in my house, and I can see the benefit of doing it when they're so young that they'll be healed up before they think of it.

Also ear piercing is a cultural tradition in some communities. I know it is sometimes compared to circumcision but it doesn't seem as severe to me so it doesn't feel the same to me.

I guess I've mellowed over this issue as the years have gone by. At one time it felt like a huge deal to me if someone had their baby's ears pierced, but now I see both sides more. That doesn't mean I'd do it at this point, just that I feel less judgmental about it.

What are your thoughts?
post #2 of 120

I don't support piercing ears until the child is old enough to choose it and care for it (or at least mostly care for it) on their own. That eliminates the "fiddling" problem. It's the child's body; I don't see the point of the parent making that decision for them. 

 

So I am not seeing us letting our daughter get her ears pierced until she's probably 9 or 10 or thereabouts, depending on her maturity level. When I was growing up, it was a blanket age of 13 and whenever it came up that was reiterated, which prevented endless fights about it. (Though when I hit 13 my mom stonewalled me and laid a massive guilt trip about getting it done, which I didn't appreciate.) The other thing is I would like to get my daughter's ears pierced by a piercer instead of at the mall, and I have to look into the regulations on that and at what age it can be done. She's only 2 now so I have plenty of time. 

 

I kind of get it as a cultural tradition in some communities, but I see a lot of Anglo-American babies with pierced ears and I'm pretty sure that's not cultural but more likely is just because it looks so ky00t. Then there's the father who my husband and I talked to on an airplane, who "had to" pierce his daughter's ears because it took her a long time to grow much hair and otherwise nobody would know she was a girl. :irked 

post #3 of 120
I'm in the "make them be old enough to beg for it" camp. My daughter was 16 when she had them done and she has loved them. She was the one responsible for their care .... and there is quite of bit of care for the first few weeks.

My parents had the same attitude and I didn't pierce my ears till I was 25 years old.
post #4 of 120
Thread Starter 
Sadly, they fiddle with them at 9 to 10 as well. greensad.gif
post #5 of 120

I don't like it.  I don't understand poking holes in a baby for decoration. 

post #6 of 120
Just would say that we waited for our daughter to express interest (age 9) and did it as a birthday gift... it was really special and she felt very loved and celebrated. Glad we did it that way.
post #7 of 120
I pierced my daughters when she was 2 months old... Her pediatrician did it and even recommended to pierce that young because she's too little to fuss with them.. She didn't even realized it... No crying no pain. And taking care of them is so simple. Just a little bit of alcohol under posts every night after her bath. Mine were pierced at a couple months old my sisters also... I've never seen it as a big deal. Little girls look adorable with little pink studs :-)
post #8 of 120

Cultural aspects aside... I think it's absolutely ridiculous to pierce a baby's ears. What's the point? Obviously the kid can't choose, so it's more about what the parent wants, which to me, is selfish. Piercing a baby's ears just because they won't remember the pain or cry much is not a good reason to do it that young. That annoys me. To each his own, I guess. My DD won't be getting her ears pierced until she asks, and if she asks before 10, the answer will probably be no.

post #9 of 120

I think it is barbaric and silly and send the wrong message to girls.

post #10 of 120

 Don't our children have a whole lifetime ahead of them to face the vanities of this world with out us giving them a head start?!!  (Also, OUCH!):(

post #11 of 120
Someone "made" my mom get it done to my sister when she was a newborn in the hospital. My mom was young and didn't want to but felt obligated. To this day I don't think she has forgiven herself! I think it's best to wait. Babies feel pain. :-(
post #12 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
 

I don't like it.  I don't understand poking holes in a baby for decoration. 

 

Exactly! You can't in any way argue a medical case for ear piercing, unlike some controversial procedures that are done on small babies. 

post #13 of 120
I don't think it's a big deal on getting your daughters ears pierced. Sooner or later they're going to get them pierced so might as well do them when they're small and don't really feel anything cause they catch them by surprise.
We pierced my daughters ears at 3months then did her second stud at 4 months and with both ear piercings all the did was groan then she was fine. She gets compliments on her ear studs aalll the time!
post #14 of 120

Some women don't want their ears pierced, actually!

And what is so great about being complimented for looks as a baby...or a child?! :(

post #15 of 120
How does it send a wrong message to girls? Not just because one person sees it wrong for a girl too have her ears pierced means the whole world would too. Everyone has a different perspective about this subject.
post #16 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie011812 View Post

How does it send a wrong message to girls? .

It may send the message that their bodies aren't good enough as is. That they require modification or adornment to be beautiful. We don't, after all, typically pierce the ears of baby boys.
post #17 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie011812 View Post

I don't think it's a big deal on getting your daughters ears pierced. Sooner or later they're going to get them pierced so might as well do them when they're small and don't really feel anything cause they catch them by surprise.
We pierced my daughters ears at 3months then did her second stud at 4 months and with both ear piercings all the did was groan then she was fine. She gets compliments on her ear studs aalll the time!

What a strange thing to say... and how presumptuous of you to think your kid will be ok with it or agree with your choice. Shouldn't your daughter get to choose when and if she wants them pierced? I guess it's too late for yours now. I have a real problem with parents making these choices for their kids. Seriously, piercing the ears of a 3-month-old?? A 3-month-old!!!!! Why is that necessary?? I agree that it definitely sends the wrong message.

post #18 of 120

I admit I'm curious to see if any longer-running members are going to speak up in favor of this practice. 

 

I mean, I don't think it's the worst thing a parent can do to their child, of course. Not by a long shot. I know they mean well. I just don't see any positive to outweigh the negative that you're changing your daughter's body without her permission. 

post #19 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie011812 View Post

I don't think it's a big deal on getting your daughters ears pierced. Sooner or later they're going to get them pierced so might as well do them when they're small and don't really feel anything cause they catch them by surprise.
We pierced my daughters ears at 3months then did her second stud at 4 months and with both ear piercings all the did was groan then she was fine. She gets compliments on her ear studs aalll the time!

 

It's not a big deal to you.  It might be a very big deal to her.  That's why she should get to decide. 

 

We are raising girls in a culture where altering the bodies of babies is so pervasive that no one even thinks about it.  It's given that a girl would/should want to get compliments on her appearance, that she should alter herself to "be cute," and that it's ok for someone else to make those choices for her.

 

As the person above me said, it's certainly not the worst thing you could do to a child and most parents are just doing it without a lot of thought and certainly not malicious thought, but I'm trying to raise a girl in a culture that's not very girl-positive.  I may well give things way too much thought but I want to her know that her body is hers and it's perfect as it is - and I want her to know that as soon as possible.

post #20 of 120

I disagree that she would want them done "sooner or later"- I was pressured to get my ears pierced at 19 but within a few years, I let them close up. I just don't like earings! Not all girls/women end up having their ears pierced. 

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