Originally Posted by nextcommercial
In some ways, he immature. He likes his little world of pretend, yet he reads, writes knows world maps, U.S Maps, math...etc... He has long detailed conversations with anybody who will listen to his information. He can become almost obsessive about learning something new until he's learned enough to satisfy him. He moves on to the next thing, usually it's a transition into something similar, but slightly different. For instance, he started with trains, then bridges, then islands, and now continents.
Hmmmmm.....sounds like one of my girls. They have moved from obsession to obsession from a very young age. They often bridge off one another, but can also leapfrog randomly. She never was interested in trains or bridges...but continents, maps, states, etc lasted a long time.
That aside, the intensity and duration and depth of the obsession is what is more critical than the obsessions themselves. 3/4/5 year olds are notoriously obsessive! If it is interfering in his enjoyment of other then it is a huge red flag or if he learns all he can (including material above wave level)
I work with 3/4 yr olds. Common high interests are trains, blocks, cars, dolls, dress-up, animals, space, princesses, food, and vacations/home events.
Talkativeness is also not unusual at 3-6 (or even older). Most kids are OK with talkative to be honest. 4 yr olds pretend- that is not immature either, it shows a rich imagination.
Bright kids are intense- has she read about intensities?
The school district he is in doesn't have a great gifted program, but the next district over not only has one, but it has two for grade school and one for high school. So, they could move before first grade. (no gifted program until first or second grade)
Worth considering a move- if and when they get to 1st grade and still have worries. There is A LOT of growing between 4 & 6/7. Social skills really build and grow. What seems huge at 4 may or may not be huge a few years later.
His parents worry that he won't be able to make friends in a normal school setting, and that he will become withdrawn because other kids don't want to hear him talk so much. (he does love to talk) They will want to just play, or work, and he has a hard time doing whatever everyone else is doing. Even if it looks fun.
Has he done preschool and/or any social group settings? They do take time for most kids to get used to. Also, young kids (3-8) are often fairly OK with differences, quirks, etc as long as the other kids are not aggressive.
You state he is polite and gets along well-- all that works in his favor.
Does he always do his own thing? Does it look fun to him (or to the adults)? Does he have a hard time because he is obsessive? It is hard to tell from your descriptions and the way he reacts may give her some new tools to help him build up social skills.
Mom says there is very little real information on the internet that answers her questions, and she feels even more convinced that he will never fit in anywhere. But, she says testing can cost $700. The school district they live in says they don't test until March of first grade. The district they don't live in will test early, but only if you live there.
What questions does she have? There is no crystal ball to know what will or will not happen. It is tough. There is no way to know what the future holds and/or if a kiddo will fit in or not. Or if they find similar friends, or friends that are not like them but are supportive of quirks/interests.
What if anything should they do?
I would just keep learning & letting him learn. Plan only as far ahead as she needs to- plans can change and educational plan that works now may or may not work in the future.