My baby has been diagnosed at 32 weeks with renal agenesis - both missing kidneys (also known as Potters Syndrome from my internet research since). 3 scans could not see the kidneys and there is also no fluid in my womb. The lungs are underdeveloped as a result, 'pulmonary hypoplasia' and baby is a few weeks overall undergrown because of the knock-on effect of never having developed either kidney from conception. The baby has no chance of survival.
My world is upside down really. The last 10 days have been a rollercoaster of emotions. From being in seventh heaven throughout my pregnancy, we're now faced with organising early induction and the baby's funeral.
I could have found out about this problem at a 20-week scan, but, I chose not to have any more scans after 12 weeks because I just wanted to leave the baby alone and trust in everything being fine. Nothing was highlighted on the 12 week scan.
Now I sit at 34 weeks with a baby still moving around in there and having to organise my closure with my first born (I am 27)... I was so looking forward to Christmas with our new baby, that dream has now been dismantled, or at least, postponed. One of our first fears upon hearing this news was to try establish whether this has any odds on our future chances of conceiving healthy child and from what we're been told so far, it's a fluke unlikely to happen again, which gives us hope.
I have to now build strength for a birth which will be an induced stillbirth (following feticide injection) which I have debated for days but now decide I cannot wait for up to 8 weeks for a natural birth at home (that I planned originally) for a birth that will be a death.
I just wanted to share a bit of my story. I wish so much that I had a chance to have a live baby and not face such a final, fatal outcome. I try to see the positives but can't help feeling sometimes so unlucky with this. And going into birth for the first time next week, to see my dead baby I cannot take home... it's all too much. But I am finding I'm getting over the shock and planning on using hypnobirthing scripts - with visualisations of peace and strength and my baby flying away on a magic carpet - to help relax me through my induced labour. Still I scour Google looking to see how other mothers have acted on ultrasound diagnoses and I am still a little bit tempted to go to full term and have baby come out naturally, but that would mean an uncertainty of when the baby arrives (being ready for the emotional upheaval rather than a celebration) and how long he/she will live (probably a few difficult minutes). Any thoughts, similar experiences of anything I am going through would be appreciated. x