When do naps/ sleeping become routine?
I started seeing a pattern and rythmn emerge around 8 weeks. I pushed it a little bit myself by always trying to anticipate her when doing things earlier suited us, and asking for patience/distracting her when it suited us to wait. This parent-led bit was subtle-- never more than 10-20 minutes before or after she would have wanted something, and it only worked because she has never been a screamer.
I started noticing some organization around 12 weeks. They start really organizing sleep around 4 months, and so I started encouraging a nap routine around that time. Prior to that she just slept in the sling or on me or wherever without much schedule or routine at all. I was serious about a night routine though.
After around 4 months we started playing around with timing and finally found around 6 months that the 2-3-4 timing worked well. By that point DD was waking up at 7, going down for a first nap at 9 and then another nap at 1 and then bedtime at 6pm. Starting at around 10 months there was another reorganization that lasted until around 13 months when we didn't really have a daytime routine at all (some days it was one nap, some days two). Now we're pretty consistently at one afternoon nap around 12 or 1pm, but that still changes based on developmental leaps.
All this is to say that there's not a lot of predictability in the first year unless you force it and since it sounds like that won't work for you, try to find the rhythms in each particular stage and then let them go when they change.
No real pattern yet at six months. I know he will take a nap about 45 minutes to an hour after waking up in the morning. We call it the ridiculously early in the morning nap. After that, he sort of naps whenever he is feelin it during the day. Usually two more naps before bedtime. Some naps are 2 hours, some are 2 minutes while nursing. Whatever his little heart desires!
I started to notice a pattern of naps when my daughter was 8 weeks. And instead of imposing a routine on her, I followed her lead/rhythm. She takes naps around 9-11am, between 1-3pm and again around 5 or 6pm. Then she goes to get around 8:30. She is a little over 2 months and so far this pattern has been pretty consistent, but I am sure it may change as she grows and develops.