I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my second, due in February 2014. My first was born in spring 2012. My first birth was very traumatic for so many reasons. Basically i was pressured into Oxytocin/Epidural, then a c-section, starved for 2 days, and ultimately ended up with forceps delivery while being abused and assaulted.
Last time i fought off my mw who wanted me to have an "emergency" c-section for 8 hours. For 8 hours she kept saying cryptic things like "i don't feel good about this" and "sometimes nature needs a little help" but could offer no evidence as to why i could get a c-section other than that it was taking too long. There were no problems with the hb other than one quick acceleration which the nurse assured me was normal, nothing wrong. But my mw kept saying that something could go wrong, but nothing actually was going wrong, so i couldn't bring myself to listen to her. I mean, something can always go wrong, right? I am very happy that i didn't listen to her as if i had i would've ended up with an evidently unnecessary c-section.
After birth i spoke with several women who had her as a mw and more than 1/2 of them had c-sections. Apparently she's the c-section mw.
So now I'm trying to figure out when you shouldn't listen to your care provider. Does anyone have any ideas about that? I know so many women who just listened to my mw and then were very upset afterwards when they realized they had a c-section for nothing. I'm happy i didn't listen, but at the same time isn't it dangerous?
Also, my current care provider is a practice group of 4 mw's, any one of who could be at the birth, just depends who's on call. One of them kind of reminds me of my previous mw, she kind of looks the same, is much older, and stern. Not to be ageist but i worry with the older ones that sometimes they get this "I've seen it all" attitude and really have no interest in working with the patient and instead want to take control. My last mw would get very angry if i challenged anything she did. This new mw, i don't know, i just don't feel good about her, but i feel guilty saying "not that one" plus i worry that there could be repercussions if it upsets the other mw.