My DP and I have been together for a year and he has been separated from his wife for almost three years now. It's really bothered me that he is still married, and I've told him so, but he doesn't make changes, saying that he is worried he won't see his kids as much, etc, if he fills out divorce paperwork. His ex is a very manipulative person and I see part of this as her doing...she threatens him a lot with things and he gets so afraid of losing the kids that he does what she likes.
I have a very hard time with the whole situation. I feel like they need to divorce so they can move on. I know there is nothing going on between teh two of them sexually or anything, so it's not so much that I feel threatened, but just that I feel it's wrong to live with a man married to someone else, and eventually I would like to marry him. I also feel like he doesn't take marriage seriously since he does live with me and sees no issue with staying married elsewhere.
I kept telling him I couldn't deal with this, and he didn't seem to take me seriously, so a month ago I told him I need him to get divorced in 3 months or I will leave him b/c it's a need of mine and I can't just hang on to a married man, no matter how much we love each other.
He thinks it's mean of me to do this, and he thinks I've stressed him out, and he thinks 3 months is not long enough to write up divorce papers. Meanwhile I did my divorce papers in an hour for my own marriage. I don't get it...is this legit, taking 3 months? I don't need them processed, I just want him to file them in the next three months.
Unbiased opinions sought. He just keeps saying he wants to do everything right so he is slowly working out a plan...yet he has nothing written down...and i don't see anything changing.