I have a 4 year old who has a diagnosis of mild CP along with a genetic condition. She has not been evaluated since we left EI at 3. At that time she was showing global delays, but they were mild and we opted to move out of the special ed system with the exception of getting speech once a week though the school district. Since then we have had a very bad experience with the Montessori school my older child loved. We put her a year back in the 2-3 program at 3 and at the end of the year the said she could not move up to the 3-6 group without an aide. We don't qualify for an aide so we left.
This year we enrolled dd in a smaller Montessori school in town. This is 2.5-5 year olds. 24 kids and 2-4 teachers. I just got the dreaded note in my sign in book requesting a conference about dd. She is apparently not fitting in well. I have not gotten the details. They are not asking her to leave but they did mention to me that they don't want her to extend her hours next month. We were doing half days to get used to the school. They also have issues with her playing with her food and not following directions. I go back to work next month (from maternity leave) so scheduling is sort of an issue for me.
All this time we have worked with a therapy group that has adamantly advised us to avoid special ed. My mother is a special ed teacher and even she has advised us to try to avoid it. Mainly based on children being being stifled because of lack of resources. DDs speech teacher also told us to avoid the special ed preschool in our district citing that the average was a lot lower functioning than my daughter and she would be better with NT models. She is highly verbal, but hard to understand. She has low tone which affects basically everything. She is a very messy eater, doesn't enunciate, is behind with fine motor and has a lot of coordination issues. I have no idea where she falls cognitively. She knows her letters and phonics and has interest in early reading. But she can't problem solve at all. Doesn't even attempt it. She gets frustrated and shuts down- won't even try. Even the simplest puzzles can send her into a fit. She can count to 20 but doesn't know her colors. She may be color blind- her brain injury was to the occipital lobe. She has a fantastic memory and can remember things you tell her or teach her once. But has a hard time telling you about her day.
So we have avoided special education, but I am starting to feel like I am not doing my daughter any good. She doesn't want to go to the new school. She tells me it is too hard. But once I drop her off she goes off fine. She seems to play ok and she is happy to see me when I pick her up. We have a new baby in the house and this has created a lot of regressions in dd. Her favorite thing to say is "I'm too little to do that". She wants to be held all the time, she has lots of potty accidents, she is super super uncooperative. So I am sure she is exhibiting this at school too.
So now I am wondering if I should pull her out of this Montessori school and see about having her placed in the special needs preschool. She seems to need more one on one attention then she is going to get in Montessori. It's actually not in their philosophy to really assist too much. I feel like I am trying to force dd to be typical and it is backfiring. I am also wondering if the extra attention and therapy included in the SE preschool would be great for her. The thing is, it would be a fight to get her in. We are not in that "specific" district but a rural district adjoining which does not provide these services so we'd have to fight for our district to transfer us to them and pay for it. I could not even get them to pay for OT, they asked my insurance to do it. It's such a hard decision. I have no idea what to do and I am literally sick trying to figure out what is best for her.