I always thought I would be strictly an attachment type parent, because that's what all my friends do and the community I live in generally does too.... every kid in this area I've babysat for has been attachment-parented with the exception of one and she was a total brat. I know every kid is different so that kind of has nothing to do with it.. but I'm just curious--- is it possible to use most of attachment parenting's philosophies BUT also use the babywise method of having your infant on a "flexible routine" so that they sleep through the night?? I don't believe in crying it out, and babywise doesn't exactly say that it's okay to CIO, but it does say it's okay for them to fuss and settle themselves for "15-20 minutes".
I know I don't want my kid to need me to lay down with them for naps when they're 2.... as I've seen with kids I've taken care of. I know I cannot/do not want to be woken up for nighttime feeding after an appropriate age (still gathering info on that, babywise claims 8-10 weeks they can go 6-8 hours without eating to sleep through the night) but especially once they are talking/walking/on solids-- I do not want to be a boob slave to my child during the night and I also don't think I'm keen on sharing a bed past a certain age (yet to be determined) either. My friends who AP didn't spend a night away from their baby for 2 1/2 years (not saying overnight just saying didn't go "out" and leave baby with sitter so they could go out and come home late), and didn't sleep through the night or night wean until 3. I am very pro breastfeeding and want to exclusively breastfeed and really don't want to do bottles or wean early-- I want to keep going until she wants to stop-- but i also know that as a family-- my husband and I will just not be able to do the night feeding when it's not biologically necessary-- I am all about comfort and cuddles and reassurance and having her in the same room as us (we have a cosleeper now, and are planning on getting a crib later)~ but the whole baby in the bed and waking me up every 2 hours to breastfeed PAST the biological-need time window- I just can't do it. AND..... not that there's a huge correlation in this or anything- but all of my friends who have done this super strict attachment parenting/cosleeping/feeding on demand for an extended time... have had their marriages/relationships fail.
so-- what do you think? It sounds to me like the babywise method is a balance between strict scheduling and on demand feeding-- because it puts both the baby's hunger cues and the time into perspective AND it gives baby the ability to learn to fall asleep without the boob, not that falling asleep with a boob is a bad thing... it's just preferable i think- that your infant can fall asleep after being tired from playtime rather than needing you every single time they go to bed to feed/rock them to sleep.
so many parenting books and sleeep books and they're all conflicting and I'm the type of person who needs to read/learn everything first. I think I'm just going to keep information gathering, and then go with the flow when baby is here, keeping my goals in mind... which really are to have a baby that sleeps for at least a 6 hour stretch when it's biologically possible.