I mentioned my concerns to our family doctor and she agreed with me that he seems to fit the criteria for Asperger's, though we have not sought out a formal diagnosis. My husband is strongly against a diagnosis/label. He admits that the kid isn't totally normal, but he doesn't think there's something "wrong" with him either. My husband himself shared some similar traits as a young child, though I don't believe to the same extent.
The two things I'm really struggling with right now are (1) my husband is so anti-labelling him that I can't talk to anyone about my struggles. I know some of our family members/friends suspect he has something going on, but wouldn't dare say anything. Even when I try to talk to hubby about my struggles, he listens but often tries to place the blame on ourselves and the way we've raised him ("he's a young 6 because we've sheltered him" and "we/you/I could have handled the situation better") or downplay it saying the events I describe sound normal to him. The other thing I'm really struggling with is social situations with strangers. Playdates with friends are a little better (though not at our house, if other kids touch his stuff he practically has panic attacks) but a few times at the park recently he's approached groups of kids and acted strange, then I've heard/seen them making fun of him. I don't think he quite realizes it, but it makes me want to cry for him. It's the worst feeling ever. I don't know how to handle it because he'll often latch on to a group when we first arrive and follow them around everywhere they go, even if they're obviously trying to get away from him. Sometimes I can redirect him, usually I can't. I don't even know how to handle this. If anyone has any words of wisdom or even just cyber-hugs, I would really appreciate it.