or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Co-sleeping and the Family Bed › Please help me
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Please help me

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
I need some serious help- advice, sympathy, anything! My DS is 12 months old and we bed share. For the last week he has been waking at around 2am and been awake until nearly 5. He's not crying/screaming during this time, just wants to be held and will comfort nurse. It is killing me. I am beyond exhaustion. (He goes to bed by 8 at night and is up around 7; nurses every two hours)
I feel like I am at the end of my tether - I have had no energy this week to get anything done (laundry, cooking, being a good mom). I also have a older daughter who's nearly 6 and she needs me to be there for her, to make school lunches and take her to school/activities. I have nothing left.
Last night while I was up with DS, I just stood in the living room with him and cried. I don't know what to do.....I don't know why he's not sleeping.....DH and I have been arguing about putting him in a crib. I am not in favor of having him CIO but at 4am I seriously start considering it.
I am so angry, frustrated and defeated. Logically I know that this is probably some phase and I should just roll with it but my sleep-deprived brain is having trouble with logic (and everything else).
Someone please tell me I'm not alone
post #2 of 7
Argh. That would put me to the end of my rope too. I used to be able to pop DD on the boob and go back to sleep under those circumstances, but it can get harder to get comfortable and go back to sleep. DD used to do that occasionally, wake up and not be upset but not want to sleep - I would get up with her, not turn on any lights, but let her play on the floor of her room in the dark while I lay on the floor with a blanket and pillow. I could doze and when she was ready to sleep again, we'd go back to bed. That's a killer though.
post #3 of 7

Putting your baby in a crib doesn't have to mean that he is being left to CIO. You could try putting him in a crib and see how things go for a few days.  Good luck!

post #4 of 7

Could he possibly be cutting new teeth? I found that when I got my son an amber necklace he slept ALOT better....I could be way off but its just a thought.

post #5 of 7

I`m sorry, this sounds really tough.

How heavy is he? Can you wear him in a baby carrier? What I would try is putting him on your back with a little teething toy and just move gently around in a dark room. It usually helps my kids to fall back asleep. Maybe he is going through a growth spurt or is working on a new skill. That keeps them up at night.

You can try the crib but I believe introducing something new at this point would only upset him more.

Big hugs :Hug

post #6 of 7

When my kids did things like this, I know I felt like I was at the end of my rope, too. We actually did use a crib sometimes, but CIO never! When a baby would wake up, not unhappy, but awake and want to play, we would follow the Sears' advice, "Pretend to be asleep." Don't turn on any lights. No books. No playing. Baby can have the breast and lie in your arms or lie and play quietly, but he won't have a playmate at 3:00 AM.


I once found myself "entertaining" a baby at 4:00 AM in the living room, my husband came downstairs and asked me what the heck I was doing. I suddenly realized. "What the heck am I doing? I can parent while lying down." So Baby was swept up, I turned out the light, I refused to play (nicely, because I was pretending to be asleep) she was offered the breast, didn't want it, smacked me so I would play with her, I turned so she couldn't get at me, she tried it again, crawled OVER me and tried to open my eye with her little fingers, I removed her fingers, offered the breast again. Baby finally got it, "She's not going to play with me." Then they would usually either go to breast or lie quietly.


Probably due to a milestone, learning to walk, teething, learning new words. My babies learned, "She doesn't play with us at night." I LOVED them at night, I would hold them and nurse them at night. But, under no circumstance does the light go on, nor do we engage in conversation (other than "do you want the other one?") we do NOT get out of bed and walk around, or play, we lie down, we rest, we nurse, Baby can babble quietly to herself. Eventually they get it.


I empathize, Mama. It can be exhausting, but if you gently pretend to be asleep, and only offer warm arms and the breast, and little to no stimulation, he will eventually get it.


Good luck.

post #7 of 7
Great advice Maggie.
Also, if your dh wants to help, he can take over nighttime parenting, not suggest CIO. My babies slept way better with dh than they did with me.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Co-sleeping and the Family Bed › Please help me