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New baby on the way, need to figure out co-sleepig 20mo old.

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

Hello all,

 

I am due in March.  My 20 mo old girl has been co-sleeping/night nursing since birth.  I've been trying to figure out how to adjust our sleeping situation in preparation for the new baby.  I'd also just really like to night wean her because I'm always exhausted and it's making this pregnancy so much harder (AND I'm preparing for a VBAC which has just added to the stress of it all). 

 

I'd also like to get her in her own bed.  There is just no way to have them both in the bed, there is already not really enough room for the three of us right now.  We did take one side of the crib (which is in our room) off to covert it to a day bed.  She seems to take to it just a little bit better since she has always hated being contained.  We plan on leaving it in the room (although I'm not sure if it's better to move her to her own room?)

 

Has anyone else gone through this as well?  I don't want to wait to much longer to change things because I don't want her to feel kicked out when the baby comes.  Should I try to night wean first?  And then transition to her bed?  I've heard some night weaning suggestions in the past (but am more than open to hearing more) but just have NO IDEA about transitioning out of the bed. 

 

Please help!
 

post #2 of 9

I'm sure you'll get some really great response from some people who have BTDT, but I was wondering if your husband could sleep with her in a different room? I know other mothers who have night weaned and prepared for a new baby that way, and it seems gentle because they aren't alone. 

post #3 of 9

When DD2 was born, we all were in the bed together.  We put a bedrail on the edge near me and had DD2 on that side.  DD1 was in the middle.  (we have a king).  we were all 4 in there until just before ds was born and then dd1 moved into a twin in the room with us.  

 

It has worked for us.  DD1 was 26 months when DD2 was born.  

post #4 of 9

I'm sorry that I don't have any helpful advice, but I was just wondering the same thing as we have an 18 mo who co-sleeps/nurses through the night and we are TTC.  I have read co-sleeping isn't safe with an older sibling in the bed with the newborn, and I just can't picture how it would work.  I co-slept with my little one on my chest as a nb, but I was always anxious about her safety.  Plus it seems like they might wake each other up.  So I will be interested in any other experienced replies.  Thanks for posting!

post #5 of 9
We have DS1 on a twin mattress right next to our queen (we're all on the floor). We night weaned him in the final months of my pregnancy, and he accepted it easily. We used Jay Gordon's method. DS2 has come along, and he's back to waking at night. I'm finding it's faster to nurse him back to sleep than to "parent" him back down, so night weaning us out the window. But the night weaning was worth it to get extra sleep in the last trimester, and I feel like it will be easier to night wean him again eventually.

HTH!
post #6 of 9
Hello Momma Morgan Mareglia! I have been searching for answers to this exact post! We are in a similar situation. Little one will be 27 months when the baby arrives. So far we are contemplating night weaning and putting a double next to our bed now for dad and toddler. Feel uneasy about night weaning... Also, I have no idea how night feeding and diaper changes won't wake up the whole co-sleeping family at night; how does one manage this... Before it would disturb dad a little but now we have to consider our toddler. I just ordered Adventures in Tandem Breastfeeding and hope that there will be some anecdotes in there. I have no idea on where to look or who to ask. I will keep you posted if I get some good info! Best of luck!
post #7 of 9

I night weaned both girls before next baby was born and it was a good decision for me.  

 

I never leave baby alone with older one until at least 8ish months.  I feel pretty good about it after that though.  the baby never seems to wake up anyone but dh and I.  You never will know exactly how it will all go until baby is born though.

 

Good luck everyone with new babes on the way!

post #8 of 9

With all my other kids, around 2 or so the toddler moves into a twin bed in another room and Mom or Dad lays down with him till he falls asleep. He generally will stay there for most of the night, sometimes coming in the wee hours of the morning to sleep with us for a bit, which is fine. Then new baby cosleeps with us. Its worked well with four toddlers so far!

 

Unfortunately, I have failed to do that this time and I have a cosleeping 26 month old and am almost 39 weeks. We bought the bed for him but DH has been working nights and I just can't lay on that twin with him for the 30+ minutes that it takes for him to go to sleep without getting back and hip pain. I need my comfy bed! So he is still sleeping with us and baby could show up anytime. 

 

So we are on to plan B. We have a king size mattress and we are going to flip it sideways which give us an extra foot of so. Then we will do Daddy, Toddler, Mom, Baby, Bedrail or possibly a side carred crib. If DH can be home in the evenings on a regular basis soon then we will try Plan A again eventually. I just don't want to make a huge deal out of it since I am sure adjusting to the baby will be hard enough for all of us. 

post #9 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by mareseatoats View Post
 

I'm sure you'll get some really great response from some people who have BTDT, but I was wondering if your husband could sleep with her in a different room? I know other mothers who have night weaned and prepared for a new baby that way, and it seems gentle because they aren't alone. 


My kids have a larger spacing, but that's what we do.

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