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post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
I am a new mom. I am also a survivor of rape. The innocent happened before I met my husband or had my child. I'm just wondering if I should share this information with my son or any other children at an appropriate age or just not talk about it?
post #2 of 5

I think this is a really important question, and I wonder about it myself. My daughter was conceived during my rape, so that makes my situation a bit different. I think that when the time comes I will tell my daughter  as well as my other children (not at the same time). I want them to understand that rape happens, and to people they know. Rape jokes are not funny, no means no, etc. I hope that they will become advocates against rape culture.

 

 I have always been very open with my children (age appropriately of course) so I think it will feel congruent with our relationship. We aren't a family to have "family secrets". My parents do not know, however, and I will wait to tell my kids until they can understand that it is my choice and they need to respect it.

 

:Hug and congratulations on your new baby!

post #3 of 5
Thread Starter 
Mine was more of a date rape situation for lack of a better term. But anyway yes I am considering telling my children when they're old enough to understand what it is and why it's wrong.
post #4 of 5

I haven't been raped, but I think that I would share this with my children when they were old enough to know.  That age is different for each kid, so there isn't a "magic age" but I can't imagine keeping it buried.  However, I wouldn't ever criticize someone for keeping it to themselves.  That is a very personal decision.  I think as your children grow, you will know more about what would be right for you. 

 

Amy

post #5 of 5

I haven't been raped but I supported a friend through this many years ago. It's something that stays with you. :-( 

 

I really think it would be good to talk with your kids about it when they are at the age of starting to develop dating relationships. Your son might someday speak up against his friends or educate them based on what you have told him. I was raised in an abusive home for part of my childhood. I have shared that with my girls, and told them how that is wrong and no one should ever treat anyone that way, for any reason. I think knowing about my struggles has made them stronger, wiser people. Now they know that is wrong and will hopefully avoid that kind of relationship.

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