If you're planning on more, when?
What kind of birth control will you be using in the meantime?
Well, I would like to have one more child, after Griffin. I am 34, so I feel like Id have to wait max two years but I also want to wait that long because the same as Talldarkeyes, I had a c-section and would like to attempt a vbac after this one, so need to give the incision that time to heal. In saying that, Griffins birth was really traumatic and our hardships with breastfeeding milk supply, because of the trauma, really scares me when thinking about having another baby. Im an only child though and always wanted a sibling, so I think my want for two children will surpass my fear of the super trauma and dark times that followed Griffins birth. As for birth control, we've had sex once in 4 months, so I feel like what is the point in using any = none. It makes me incredibly sad and is a real issue in my relationship right now. The three huge reasons we aren't having sex is because I sustained a lot of mental trauma from the birth and can't seem to get into it and also, the only time we tried after, it hurt so much that I couldn't focus, secondly, Griffin is in our room and both of us have a hard time getting into it with that. My boyfriend isnt the most romantic guy in the world, so doing it outside the bedroom is just not a thing. ugh. The third reason is that my body is really overweight full of stretch marks and sagging everywhere and im having a really hard time looking in the mirror, which I think is making it so im not sexual at all. Its all one big mental mess, ugh. Maybe with time it will get better, I hope. ANYWAYS. As far as birth control, I have an appointment to get an IUD. I dont know if im down with having something inside me at all times, so may fall back onto a progesterone pill instead. It might actually help our sex life knowing securely that we won't get pregnant, since my SO is scared to see me go through the trauma again and I am also scared. blah.
this is a great thread! it's nice to know that most people seem to be somewhat ambivalent no matter how old they are or how many children they already have. except for wrenmoon, that is, whose circumstances are challenging in a different way. rainbownurse, it's cool that you plan to adopt a child as well! do you think would adopt a girl or a boy?
as for us, I don't know... I was so upset when I found out I was pregnant, as I didn't really want to be a mother at all. (I obviously wasn't 100% sure about that, as I hadn't chosen to get a sterilization surgery or anything, but I was at least 80%. :P ) but the pregnancy, birth (despite the fact I had an unexpected C-section), and newborn period has gone so well that I'm rethinking the whole thing. I have two brothers, so I know how awesome siblings are, but like any sane person, I worry about my ability to care for two of these human larvae at once. like talldarkeyes, I worry about "tempting fate" but for a completely different reason - the unplanned baby is great, so if I dare to try it again, surely I'll be cursed with bedrest, birth trauma, and colic, right? and if I do decide to have another, how long should I wait? I didn't realize that 2+ years of healing is advisable before a VBAC, though, so I'm glad a couple of people mentioned that.
and sex has been weird, too. I haven't had much desire, though I do crave affection from my husband. the few times we've done it we've used a condom, and I think that'll be our go-to from now on. I've been lucky that it's been comfortable for both of us. even though I would have preferred to have a vaginal birth, I'm glad I didn't have to heal after any tearing or episiotomies or the like!
Well, we just had another one yesterday, LOL. We do foster care and accepted placement of an 8 year old, so we're in major adjustment mode, currently. The first week or so is always rocky, and the thought of any more kids right now in this tiny house (my DH also has a 10 year old from a previous marriage) makes me want to run away.
That said, we are planning on another one. We will start trying this time next year, so there will be at least two years between. I would also like a VBAC, and didn't know you should wait that long after a c-section; good to know. We've talked of a third one before being done, but we'll see. Depends on how quickly I get pregnant again, and if there are any more miscarriages in between. I am about to turn 32 so time is a factor in that.
hugs to all those mama's having painful sex! i had a few stitches with my first birth and it was really painful after--i was scared it would be like that forever...thankfully it wasn't. and i was about 18 months out and never got my full libido back before i got pregnant. but when you're night nursing multiple times a night it's really hard--at least i'm hoping this brings it back fully--one day being fully weaned. right now i'm tandem nursing--so it won't be any time soon! :)
for whatever reason though after both pregnancies i had one surge of libido--that lasted one coupling at 4 weeks pp. random, but fun for both of us! or at least this time as it wasn't painful.
we've had 4 pregnancies and 2 babies...and we're tired. mid-pregnancy we both would have said we'll have 1 more. now, my husband says probably not. but...i felt last time and this time--don't ask me until we're at least 1 yr postpartum. i think if we did go again, it would be a few years out. but one of the reasons i think this has been a lot easier on me is because i was still waking up multiple times a night--still dealing with daily crying, etc. just in the mode of taking care of little people. :) anyways, i'm 37 and wouldn't want to wait too long...long story short--who knows :) but the idea of not having another is a bit sad!
We're just going for it, no birth control. Since this is the anniversary week of C's conception, we've reached the point where they'd be roughly a year apart. I think I could handle that. Based on family history, though, they'll probably be closer to two years. I'd be happy with any spacing in between, though if we're not pregnant yet when C is 9 months or so, I might try something more proactive to conceive.
Time is really of the essence here because my husband is not only quite a bit older than me, he's probably what most would consider flat-out old. I would love 3 kids, but would also settle for 2. I just really want a buddy for Clover!