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Postpartum sex

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

Isn't there supposed to be some hormone postpartum that turns off your sex drive?


I know it has only been two weeks for me but by the time I hit the one week mark I felt like jumping my husband. I was still bleeding quite a lot at one week so that was kind of out of the question.  I think I was making my husband nervous because until last night he was kind of avoiding letting me get too close for too long.  He was finally willing to at least make out with me for a little while. jeez.  Now my bleeding has tapered off. I might wipe a little pink if I'm up for too long but most of the time there is nothing on my pad. Anyway, I didn't get to ask my midwives yesterday at my 2 week appointment and I'm curious what you other mamas do.


This was an non-issue for me last time because my tearing was so bad that it wasn't until 4 weeks that I even considered putting anything in my vagina.  I know I can't make it 4 weeks this time. I will go insane

post #2 of 16

Hmmm...not horny myself at 2 weeks pp & still have 4 stitches, so not close to being ready.

Let that pelvic floor of yours heal at least awhile longer, mama!  Do your kegels (to stimulate blood flow to the area & healing) & fantasize about how great it will be in several weeks!  Maybe make out & manually stimulate (vibrator on the outside maybe?) to acheive pleasure without any insertion?

post #3 of 16
I am a month out and I have ZERO desire. My husband and I were having sex a lot before I had him, but I think my sleep deprivation has taken all desire for anything other than sleep. I just can't imagine baby sleeping and me being in bed for any other reason other than sleep. It's not like he sleeps at all anyway so it's out of the question. Ugh. I would give anything for him to sleep.
post #4 of 16

I like the "idea" of it right now, but I think I'm just still feeling a bit off.  I'll have my 6 week in 2 weeks and I think by then I'll be ready . . .  Now we'll see how much it actually happens, since baby Heidi is usually awake from 8-10 or lightly dozing . . . and by 10 I'm so ready for sleep!  But DH has been SO sweet about the lack of any action, both in the last 3 weeks before she was born and in the past 4 weeks of her being here . . . I look forward to helping him out in this area again :)  

post #5 of 16

I had to hijack this thread slightly just to mention... so, I had a 2nd degree tear.  Nothing too bad... except for the location.  I somehow managed to tear INSIDE my vagina.  I have literally no stitches on the outside, but had to get repaired inside.  They told me it was a really weird tear!  I'm actually really bummed - what does this mean for my sex life?  My husband was super nice about it, but damnit, the nurses warned me that I'm probably going to need to wait even MORE past the 6 weeks suggested, just because it's going to be a long time before it doesn't hurt. 


All I can say is... have lots of sex for me, ladies.  Sigh.  We're going to be sticking to plenty of non-insertive stuff for a long time, I guess.

post #6 of 16

Still pregnant, but last time my midwife gave the go-ahead for PIV sex as soon as the bleeding stopped, but I know for sure we hadn't by the 6 week appointment. I didn't really get my drive back until my fertility returned 10 months later.

post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 

rainy- obviously every body and every tear is different but i can tell you what my post-tear sex experience was. My tear was not internal, it was a 2nd degree labial tear which i guess isn't horrible in the scheme of tears but it sure sucked at the time.  By 4 weeks I was still sore but so sex-deprived that I just couldn't wait any longer (my libido didn't take a hit last time either).  My husband took some convincing because he just didn't want to hurt me.  Anyway, yes it hurt a little but we just went really slow and adjusted when necessary and it was still well worth it.  We had to have very gentle sex for a little while after that but eventually all the discomfort disappeared.   You can always try when you feel ready and just warn your husband that you might kick him out.


I'll probably wait at least another week but damn it's not easy.

post #8 of 16

rainy, i'm sorry about the tear, but i can understand. i had an internal 2nd/3rd degree tear, and it took me a good 10-12 weeks before sex felt mostly comfortable. we did have sex at 6 weeks, but i remember sort of holding my breath through it and just doing it for DH. i don't know what you're feeling right now, but mine was bad enough that sitting down on the toilet was excruciating for the first 8 weeks or so. it was a worse than usual kind of situation. if you aren't feeling pain to that extreme, you probably will be doing much better than i was at 6 weeks!

that being said, the area healed up very nicely in due time, and i didn't tear a bit during my second birth. in the long run, things should be just fine. i hope you heal quickly!

post #9 of 16
I'd have had sex on day 6. No tearing.
But he doesn't do pink discharge even.
So we're probably waiting another week.
Its ok. I'm ready lol. He's terrified ill get pregnant....so might be six weeks
post #10 of 16
Thread Starter 

I made it all the way to day 14. Pretty much within hours of saying I'd wait at least another week but whatevs. It was awesome.  I definitely had to convince DH a little bit, which I appreciate.  He really wanted me to be sure I was ready.  Had I been at anymore than pink spotting once in a while I don't think he would have agreed.  Not tearing this time has significantly changed returning to sex.

post #11 of 16

Oh I would so love to make love to my husband right now! But I have a few stiches and I can still feel one of them, and I'm still a bit ouchy. The way I figure it the longer I wait the better it will be for both of us. We did get some snuggle time in today, but are both looking forward to the real deal.

post #12 of 16

I managed to have some sexy time with my DF a few days ago, without messing with my lady bits at all, since I am still having occasional red blood.  It felt great to make out (hot, passionate kisses for a loooong time) and then give him pleasure, which helped me feel connected to him in a fully intimate/romantic way which felt so nice after a month of not even one french kiss!  I felt so smug and naughty and happy the rest of the day after our little afternoon moment, and I am sure he felt much better too.  :joy

I want to see no more red blood at all before we attempt anything, even though my stitches are gone.  I am having pain sitting sometimes, as my piles have flared up.  :(

post #13 of 16

We lasted until 4.5 weeks, I really wanted to give my lady parts time to feel totally back to normal and my pp checkup isn't until the 8 week mark and there was no way we were going to wait until that..   And can I say that it was so. MUCH. More INTENSE than usual??  Woah, mama, that was like..... I dunno, like I imagine heroin to be.  :joy    Tiny bit of pink after, but then when we did it again the next day, no pink after.   But then inexplicably, a couple days after that, pink again.  I'm so sick of this random light spotting, I just want the whole post partum lochia business to be DONE.  grrr.

post #14 of 16
Still too sore to think much about it. I had 3rd degree tearing. I hope it's not still uncomfy when we get the go ahead from the dr.
post #15 of 16
I'm only 5 days pp, so I haven't given it much thought yet. We didn't have sex until 4 months pp last time, just because I didn't feel like it...I only had one stitch, so I wasn't worried about pain. I just wasn't interested. This time I had no stitches, so again, pain's not really an issue. I hope, for my husband's sake, that it's not 4 months this time!
post #16 of 16

I'm 4 weeks PP and nowhere near having sex. I'll re-evaluate in 2 weeks, but I think it will have to wait longer than that even. I had fairly significant tearing, and things are still healing.

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