We just can not allow other people to tell us what we are worth.
We know what we are worth or we would not be doing what we do.
Remember the day you knew you would stay home like PP said. The day you fell in love. Let's let nothing assault that moment.
Let's let no one convince us, ever, that we saw something less beautiful in that moment, when we chose to be just a mother... The good, the bad, the ugly. And the good.
My youngest went to kinder this fall. It rocked my world. I had legit empty nester syndrome. No one needs me (until 3 o'clock) to help them find something to do or to take them to a park. No one is around to tell me stories or help them solve problems. No one is in the kitchen with me. (now that's really eerie). No one is fighting. No one is distracting me from something that needs to be done.
No one is grocery shopping with me, sneaking Cheetos and weird goo in a baby bottle from the candy aisle into my cart and making it hard for me to read labels or see which tomatoes were grown in Mexico.
I can go to TJ freakin Maxx if I WANTED to.
They are out. In the world. Taking flight. I'm not there to watch.
But I was. I was in the front row baby.
And I wouldn't trade that for the world.
There were times I wanted to. For sure. Because it became wildly under stimulating and lonely. Because i had no status and my non-mom self slipped away. But I just always felt this was their birth right. And mine too. I didn't want to miss a thing. I wanted to KNOW how my kids were put together, piece by piece, so that when a wheel comes loose I have the best chance of helping them fix it. We wrote their little owners manual together...through blood sweat and tears. Oh, the tears. Theres and mine. So far I'm finding it's much easier when they blow a tire or some circuitry gets loose to know which page in the manual to turn to. Because I was there as it was written.
Staying at home now that they are in school has given me space and quiet to see
...........Um........... That i have no idea who I am without them. (I'm laughing). It's terrifying and funny and I don't care who thinks its sad or wrong or pathetic. I could never be on the cover of Modern Woman. Im dependent.
But "I" slipped away for a time for a good freakin cause. I'm excited to get to know me again. I think it's gonna be awesome getting to know her. Because all the while, when she was up on that shelf, quietly waiting for her turn, she was actually growing mighty strong and wise learning the best things in life staying at home with kids.
I'm not rushing to work, because I just worked, really hard. Now I'm taking time off (from 9 to 3) to stare at a wall.