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Mothering › Groups › September 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › All done or more kids?

All done or more kids?

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
I know it's early, but I'm thinking about this because all through the pregnancy we planned on this being it and one of us having something done to permanently prevent conceiving again. Probably vasectomy. Now I'm starting to have doubts. Not sure I want more, but not sure I want to close the door forever. We have 4 kids now, and I just turned 37, so I should be happy to retire from baby making, I guess.

I'm curious where you all are in this process- what are your plans, thoughts?
post #2 of 32
We now have two, which was always the plan. There are lots of reasons to stop now: my age (39), DH's age (45), finances, my career, time, emotional energy, logistics. DH feels sure he is done. I haven't told him, but I'm really wanting one more. I'm just going to sit with it and see how I feel in the spring.
post #3 of 32
This is our first, we want three. DF would be ready to start TTCing right away.. But I'm still recovering from the birth and I don't mean just physically. I also wonder how we'd manage having more than one kid since this first month was really overwhelming, I can't imagine doing it with another kid in the house. I guess I will eventually get over my fear of another excruciating labor because I don't really want to raise an only child. But I also have to make sure I don't lose track of my career. So my best guess would be to take a year and a half long break before getting on the next one.
post #4 of 32

There is absolutely no way I'm having any more! We only planned to have two and we now do, and I have to say we have definitely been put off having any more children. My partner will most likely have a vasectomy, although he's a bit worried about possible side effects of that so we'll see.

post #5 of 32
My dh says he is absolutely done. I am on the fence. Sometimes I feel content and done. Other times I wonder if I want one more. Then I think about how hard the pregnancy was with one kid already and can't imagine doing it with 2. Plus I would most likely end up on bedrest again. I just don't think it would be a good decision to have a 3rd. But I'm going to wait a year and see where we are.
post #6 of 32
This was our first and we're definitely not done. We want two for sure, maybe three. I think we'll wait until Cailan's 9-12 months old before we start talking about the next one.
post #7 of 32
As others have said, DH feels done now that we have 2. I don't feel done, though I want to sit with my feelings about it for a while. DH knows I'm thinking about another, but I won't pester him about it. I told him that if he's certain about only fathering 2 kids, he needs to get a V. I'm not sure yet about birth control plans otherwise. I'm 36 and it took 1.5 years to conceive Matilda so I'm of course doing the math already. I wouldn't want to TTC for at least a year, more ideally 2, but I might not have that time luxury.
post #8 of 32
Well we want another one, even though I absolutely hated being pregnant. I don't want to raise an only child. I'm 37 and don't want kids past 40, so 3 years to do it in. I have to wait 6-12 months before trying coz of the csection anyway. Maybe if I'd started younger I would have had more,
post #9 of 32
This is our first and I always thought I wanted 2, maaaybe 3 and DH always wanted 3. Now he says he may want more than one but he's not thinking about it now and he's content with one at this point. However, since having Ash I all of a sudden feel like I want 4 or 5! Not really likely, since I just turned 30. I'm surprised I feel this way. I definitely want another, but it seems best to wait 3 years or so in between, so you won't have two kids in diapers. I'm definitely not ready to go through pregnancy and birth again anytime soon, hopefully I'll feel differently in 2 years or so.
post #10 of 32

You'll likely feel very differently in just one year, KaliHekate.  Hormones alone are so different than a few weeks postpartum.


So, this is my third child and I definitely want one more but I just turned 34 so we really don't have much time to space the fourth very far from this little gal, since I, personally, really don't want to be changing diapers when I'm 40.   I have other goals outside the home that I'd like to pursue as well, so I would like to get out of the baby/toddler phase sooner rather than later.  I wish I was a few years younger, so I could fulfill my fantasy of a big family without going over age 35 in the process, but I took an 8 year break between #2 and #3, due to being a single mom for 4 years (before moving in with my current fiance), so what can you do?  Time really flies by....

post #11 of 32

River will be my last biological child.  DH and I have a pretty big age gap between us (15 years) and I don't want to be raising infants unless we're both able to put in the physical/sleep requirements.  Once my three are older, I'd love to consider adoption.  We were in the process of foster home approval when I became pregnant with DD1.  We're ineligible now because we receive public assistance, but once River is 5, we'll be off of food stamps and could consider trying to foster again.  It's dear to my heart.


We have three kids, and that seems like a good number.  But I am only 28 and I really feel called by parenting; much more than I had ever anticipated.  That being said, I feel like River is my last one I feel compelled to start from the newborn phase.  It's difficult watching him outgrow clothes (he's in 6-9 months already and weighs 16 lbs!) and knowing that will be the last newborn I can ever cuddle without asking for permission, but I am hoping with DD1 starting homeschooling, that focuses my energy on a new project.  Also, each subsequent pregnancy has been more difficult, and as an emetophobe, I just don't want to be pregnant again if it means I might vomit.

post #12 of 32

We would like another, for a total of 4. I'm 34 now, so we most likely would have our 4th when I'm 36, and I can't see wanting to go through another pregnancy after that at 38-39. My DH would love 5 though, but he'd also be happy with 4.

post #13 of 32
Originally Posted by CookAMH View Post

We would like another, for a total of 4. I'm 34 now, so we most likely would have our 4th when I'm 36, and I can't see wanting to go through another pregnancy after that at 38-39.  

:yeah  Exactly my situation.

post #14 of 32
DH wants one more, in like five years.

I'm done. LOL But I told him I'd reevaluate in five years.
post #15 of 32

DH would love for me to be pregnant again and im only 6wk post lol. but i just got my IUD placed yesterday so no more babies for now. i want another one but i want our son to be like 3-5yr old. he wants it closer so after next deployment we will talk and see if im ready to try again. our son will be around yr -yr half.( a bit to close for me). i have two children from my exhusband DD is 8  and DS is 5, i love having a age gap it gives me time to spend with each child and get to know them as their own person then trying to do it with a couple kids at once. but at the same time im 26 and i dont wanna have any kids in my 30s. i want all my kids out my house when we retire lol and not raising kids/teenagers in my 40s-50s. no thanks.

post #16 of 32

We're going for at least one more, probably in about two years. I refuse to be super-pregnant in the middle of the summer ever again though.

post #17 of 32

I actually liked being pregnant during the Summer - PNW Summers are mild, and it meant less layers of clothes, skirts, flip flops for swollen feet, swimming pool outdoors available :)

post #18 of 32

Strangely I'm just north of you (Vancouver). Strange how heat affects different people differently. :)

post #19 of 32
We want one or two more depending on finances. Summers here, near Sacramento California, are brutal, but trying to plan around it is not likely something we'd do.
post #20 of 32
Id love one more and dh is on the fence. But he really wants a daughter smile.gif I told him we will talk about it in a year or so. I also said he needs to be good with another son or a daughter, whichever way it goes. But I would like a bit bigger gap between #2 and #3 than there was this time (25.5 months) because I found nursing while pregnant to be agonizing and I want Jakob to nurse until at least two years. Im 33 though and would really like to be done by 35-36 so we will see how it goes smile.gif
Oh and I think I might shrivel up and die if I get pregnant with a third summer baby!
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