or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Life with a Toddler › I need advice on a baby bully
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I need advice on a baby bully

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

My daughter is very good friends with a little girl, whom I shall call Susan. Susan and my LO have been friends since they were both itty bitty. Both are toddlers.

Susan has taken to all sorts of awful behaviors- throwing toys and food, shoving, pinching, hitting, and hair pulling. She has even ripped out chunks of my daughter's hair, and broken skin with pinching. The first time this happened was about six months ago. It seems to be happening more frequently.

Susan & my LO are very good baby friends. Susan's mom and I hang out several times a week, and are pretty close as well. We originally bonded over our parenting styles- we both believe in many of the ideas behind AP (though neither of us follow it 100%).

Personally, I feel like Susan's mom is afraid to discipline-- she seems incapable of saying "no" to her kids. I understand there are differing opinions about discipline, but I see NONE. Her idea is to just separate our girls. When the hair pulling happens, it's "Let go. Let go, Susan. That's not nice." Obviously, that tactic isn't getting through to Susan.

I am worried my daughter is going to end up with an ER visit-- Susan's got a death grip on my LO's hair! I have, on several occasions, had to grab Susan's hand and try to pry open her death grip, and I can't do it. DH doesn't want us hanging around Susan for a while.

Any idea how to handle this with her mom? I feel like I can't just sit back and say nothing.

post #2 of 6
Your husband has good advice. I would wait it out, don't do play dates for several months and see if it is a phase with Susan's behavior. Perhaps if you feel the risk is over try again in the Spring..
Your first priority is to protect your child and the only way to do that is to avoid contact with the other child. The way her mother handles the behavior is up to her, however the choice to allow your child to be around Susan is entirely up to you. Personally, I would not put her in harms way. Seek out gentler children and wait and see if time helps with Susan's behavior. Susan's mother seems aware of the problem and will likely understand.
post #3 of 6

Ditto on waiting it out.  You can play it off as having a winter cold for quite a bit if you are afraid to hurt her feelings and allow some time to pass before trying again.

post #4 of 6
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm beginning to think it would not be very nice of me to comment further on Susan's behavior to her mom. Her mom has already confided in me that she often feels embarrassed that her little one can be such a beast. Besides my child's safety, I don't want my little one picking up any unsavory behaviors.

post #5 of 6

My DS is 13 months and is the one who does the bullying. Not like that though. I tried different things, I'm not afraid of saying no, even pat him on the hand, unfortunately it doesn't do any good... The only way I found is to break it off and... go home.  So I agree with the other mamas.

post #6 of 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by preemieprincess View Post

Besides my child's safety, I don't want my little one picking up any unsavory behaviors.

You are right. That's another concern.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Life with a Toddler
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Life with a Toddler › I need advice on a baby bully