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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Gentle Discipline › 21 month DD won't eat for me
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21 month DD won't eat for me

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
This issue is long-standing. She eats like a champ for my MIL, eats ok for DH, but is a screaming, crying mess when I sit down to eat with her. She insists to nurse when I sit down to eat and meal times are very loud and stressful because of it. I'm posting in the discipline forum because I suspect this is a power/control issue on her part. I also know that I am equally to blame for this little dysfunctional bit. Please help!
post #2 of 6

I recommend pretending like you don't care whether or not she eats. My 19 month old daughter still nurses, but I don't let her nurse for at least an hour before dinner and then not until I'm through eating. I used to try and say she couldn't nurse until SHE ate something reasonable, but I think that had me focusing too much on her food intake which only made it go down. Also, the more finger foods and less spoon-feeding, the better.

post #3 of 6
I would nurse before mealtime, nurse as you eat without sitting her down to eat, ley her sit on your lap without nursing, or have somebody take her somewhere else while you eat. These things tend to work themselves out naturally as children age IMO.
post #4 of 6
Thread Starter 
I just wish I knew where I had gone wrong in that she won't just sit down and eat. I do eat most of my meals away from her and that's not how I want my family to be... greensad.gif At this point I can't even get her to just sit, let alone try any of the food. I'm beyond frustrated.
post #5 of 6

Eh, I wouldn't stress about it.  I would put the food on the table, and let her eating or not eating be ok.  Personally, I would nurse her if she asked, but set a limit of counting from say 1 to 50.  Then suggest food again. 

FWIW, my 22 month old decided sometime in the last week or so that meals now need to involve him and he will sit in a chair at the table.  I never really push this with littles, and let my kids graze as they want, but somewhere between 18 months and 4 years old, they have all decided that sitting with me at mealtime is a good idea. 

post #6 of 6
I don't think you went wrong anywhere. My DD used to sit on my lap and nurse while I ate or eat from my plate at that age and it isn't something that created any issues. She is ten now and you really would never know.
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