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Mixed feelings about home birth options

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Hi,

Im really committed to the idea of having a home birth. My son was born at home in Oregon nearly two years ago and while it was a very intense experienced it was also amazing and I really can't imagine doing it any other way (unless for medical reasons of course). Now with this pregnancy we are living in northern Arizona and the options for midwves are much less. There is like one full time and two part time midwives in town. Relationships between them and the local OBs are horrendous they can't work together and the closest OB backup is two towns over the mountain (1.5 hr away). I met the most experienced midwife in town and she is very sweet and seems to know her stuff but.........I just have this gut feeling not to go with her. I really connected well and had total confidence in my midwife in Orrgon and I really would love to feel the same about this midwife. But of the people I have talked to in town that have used her she has mixed reviews. And I just didn't feel like we clicked. I'm really questioning what to do - am I over thinking this? The local hospital is very unfriendly towards natural birth practices so I can't imagine purposely planning on going there for a healthy birth. Anyway just wondering if anyone had any similar issues with trying to figure out a provider ..... Or any wisdom on what to do! Thanks!
post #2 of 18

Sometimes you can't find the perfect fit and have to go with the lesser of the two evils.  tomato.gif

If it were me, I'd meet with the other two part time midwives and see if they were a better fit before making a final decision.  

post #3 of 18

If natural birth is important to you, I would definitely go with the midwife (or one of the midwives?) even if you don't "click" at least your ideals are along the same lines. I delivered with a midwife but at a hospital with my son. When I got to the hospital, the midwife wasn't there yet so the nurses helped admit me and it's like they didn't even know what natural birth was. I was already 9 cm and had to muster up all of my focus and energy to prevent them from giving me meds! They thought I was crazy and didn't know what I was taking about, "No IV? No meds??" Once my midwife got there, everything changed for the better, and the nurses sat by in silence watching in disbelief.

 

Hope that helps ;/

post #4 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks Water Mama! That does help a lot.

Anna
post #5 of 18
What's a part-time midwife? Someone who just takes fewer clients at a time? Like someone else said I'd check with them too. If you find someone you think you might like see them for a few appts & see if maybe you don't click after getting to know them better. That's a hard situation to be in. If I didn't like my midwife I wouldn't have an alternative. I hope you end up with a situation you feel good about!
post #6 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks ladies. I'm meeting with the part time midwives in two weeks (they don really want to take more patients but might agree if it feels right to them). And I am also going to meet with a nurse midwife who has hospital privileges at a birth center that's about an hour away. They have birth tubs and from what I hear it's a very natural experience there. So I am going to check in to that. I may have some options after all! On the positive side too I have heard a few more good stories about the local home birth midwife so it's starting to feel less ominous to choose her (I had been hearing a lot of negative experiences)

Any one else out there planning a home birth?
post #7 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverbliss View Post

Any one else out there planning a home birth?

Absolutely! Hospitals freak me out.

post #8 of 18
I'm having a home birth, too! It will be my third, but my first after being diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder, so it's already quite different than my first two were.
post #9 of 18

I will probably be having a home birth but I might end up choosing the birth center (if I get a spot) I will decide later. 

post #10 of 18

Another thing to look into would be a doula. As long as the midwife is competent then I think clicking with a doula would be much more important. She would be the one giving you emotional support and would minimize your need to interact with the midwife. I hope you can find one that you really love, and if not I agree with ppl that the lesser of two evils would probably be best. 

 

We are planning our third home birth! 

post #11 of 18

That's great advice berrypavlova. I like how in the business of being born, the midwife says her job is the guardian of safety. Find the care provider you feel the safest with, and then add others to your birth team if necessary to feel the emotional need.

post #12 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks Berrypavlova. That's definitely true.
post #13 of 18

My vote is for a water birth!! One pushing contraction on "land" was enough for me with DS waterbirth.jpg :bgbounce

 

It's good to hear you have more options now :)

post #14 of 18

Homebirth here, too!  Planning one, at least. 

 

I met with 3 midwives before our last miscarriage, and luckily I really clicked with one.  Unfortunately she's the most expensive one in the area, and is less flexible on money issues.  I guess I should just feel fortunate that we can afford this at all....but I wish I would have fallen in love with one of the less expensive / more financially flexible midwives! Oh well, small potatoes :)

post #15 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by berrypavlova View Post
 

Another thing to look into would be a doula. As long as the midwife is competent then I think clicking with a doula would be much more important. She would be the one giving you emotional support and would minimize your need to interact with the midwife. I hope you can find one that you really love, and if not I agree with ppl that the lesser of two evils would probably be best. 

 

We are planning our third home birth! 

And I certainly can't speak for all doulas in the world, but I offer a pretty substantial discount for homebirths .... because I enjoy it so much, and I know that families in our area more often than not are paying out-of-pocket for out of hospital birth already. 

post #16 of 18

It sounds like the birth center isn't overly far away, so that could definitely be an option. Maybe meeting with the midwife again, and communicating concerns would help? That stinks that the local OBs don't have a good relationship with the homebirth community in the area. You just have to do what feels the best for you.

 

I'm also hoping to have a homebirth! My area in Central MA has less options than either western MA or the Boston area, where there are loads of midwives and birth center options. No birth center here, the nearest is in Cambridge or NH, so other than homebirth, I'd be looking at birthing in the local hospital with a CNM (certified nurse midwife) I'm a patient of one of the OB groups in town, and have an appt with one of the CNMs. I hear she's very "by the book", which probably means adhering to all of the hospital policies on IVs, monitoring and whatnot. I plan to tour the hospital, just in case the homebirth doesn't happen. I've met with one of the only homebirth midwives in the area, a CPM, and we hit it off really well! I've seen good things on here from people in Worcester who had her (Joyce Kimball for anyone in MA), and she's done a lot of births, so I'm feeling good about it. 

 

My big worry is that I tend to be an anxious person (ok, I have anxiety disorder, so a little more than "tend"), and I worry that I'll psych myself out about labor, and stall in progress. I know that first timers often end up transferred, but I'm really committed to a natural, homebirth, and I know all of the benefits to it. I'd also be anxious at the hospital, about all of the barriers to natural birth. Either way, I'm a nervous nellie, so I might as well go for it, I figure! I'm a nurse, and I work with other nurses, in women's health actually, and I got the most weird-ass stares when I talked about homebirth. Also got weirdness from some friends who are moms, who wouldn't dream of doing a birth in their home or without drugs. To each their own, I'll just have to learn to brush it off, and not bring it up with people who don't support it, I guess :) Luckily, my mom is a natural birth champion, as is my mother in law, and my sister in law is a homebirth midwife! So lucky to have such awesome family support. 

 

I hope everything works out for you! Keep us updated :)

post #17 of 18

There have been some really great replies here.  I hope you figure out a good fit for your situation. 

 

We are planning our 2nd home birth and I wouldn't plan it any other way.  In my opinion, hospitals are for medical emergencies and sick people.  Healthy ladies who have had healthy pregnancies don't need to have babies there.  I have heard great things about our local birth center, though.  I think if I had any apprehensions about home birth (which I do not) or a lack of trust for the local midwives, I would opt for birthing in a center that supports natural birth.

 

Good luck mama!

post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
I agree there have been so many great responses on this thread I appreciate everyone's feedback. I'm now in the process of interviewing the part time midwives who may agree to take me (if it's a good fit and they feel like they can work their vacations around my due date). And also interviewing the midwife that works at a birth center 1 hr away. I will update you ladies with the direction I go in!
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